Secret Sender Rendezvous
by Dem16
Summary: Bella sets out to search for the perfect man on an online dating site. She finds the perfect man. Little does she know that they've actually met numerous times before.They begin unknowingly sending each other messages What will unconventional love entail?
1. A is for Anniversary

**I do not own Twilight or any of the associated Characters - I would however love to own SM's bank account! Now that would be peachy...**

**A/N Oh, this is a big moment for me! I'm scared so be nice... honest but nice...**

**I must say a massive thank you to Myr for being a star, Vronnie my crazy other half for being amazing and letting me throw my ideas at her. and finally to Jen for also reading and proofing this and generally making it make sense... she deserves a medal – you're all life savers!!**

**P.S I'm deliberately not revealing who 'he' is in this chapter - that would make it far to boring...**

**This is set 3 years in advance. Chapter 2 takes you back to the beginning and starts to explain how these two ended up meeting, then falling in love, and all the crazy happenings in-between, and trust me there's a lot of misfortune and hilarious moments before these two finally discover each other.**

* * *

**A is for Anniversary**

**Prologue:**

Man: Put on your red dress  
And this diamond necklace  
Your love leaves me senseless  
I dedicate tonight to you  
Coz we made it through another year  
My love only gets stronger  
And I'll be here the next year  
Same time, same place, same girl

Its our anniversary  
Celebrating you and me  
Nowhere else I'd rather be, oh no  
Its our anniversary,  
A special day in history  
I will love you endlessly  
Its our anniversary

Woman: Put on your best suit,  
I've got something for you  
I cover you in kisses,  
Coz baby I adore you  
Your touch leaves me breathless,  
And I only get weaker  
I will be there regardless, for my man  
I'm glad you're my man

* * *

Shit, Shit, Shit!

Why me? Of all the days to cut myself shaving it has to be today. _Brilliant. _A nice plaster stuck on my leg will go fantastically well with my red underwear. I'm cursed, I swear I'm cursed.

_Note to self: remember to remove plaster before he gets here._

I should have gotten a wax; I should have listened to Alice. Damn myself for being a wimp. Last time I tried to get waxed, it all ended horribly wrong. I honestly think I've been put off waxing for life. As much as Alice protests that they weren't trying to amputate my leg. - I know they were! It was fine I was lying on the bed, she told me she was about to put the wax on, so I held my breath, but it was hot… HOT! No-body told me it would be hot, so I started crying and ran off the bed screaming "they're trying to kill me" its safe to say that I'm banned for life from 'Waxing Heaven'… Heaven my ass. Torture takes place in there.

After that fiasco, Alice refused to talk to me for a week; she ignored all my texts and wouldn't answer my phone calls. Then at the end of the week she phoned me, before I could get a word in edge ways she started shouting at me;

"Bella you are a grown up, I don't care what you have to say, they were not trying to amputate your leg. I refuse to be friends with a hairy monster." Before she burst out laughing.

Alice was stubborn as hell, and whenever I didn't play by Alice's rules I was in big trouble.

Like now for instance, I'm in serious trouble. I left her in charge of my anniversary outfit. _Big mistake._ I've got stockings to wear and all I keep thinking is how on earth do I connect these to the suspenders?

I must have had a momentary lapse in sanity, because right now I'm this close to putting on my 'Dogs are for life not just for Christmas' t-shirt… I'm sure he'll love that – he'd pick the giant t-shirt over the red negligee any day, _right_?

Come on Bella, pull yourself together, where's the checklist Alice wrote for me? That god damn girl is always organising my ass. But hey if tonight was down to me I'd be in my baggy t-shirt with my hair pilled on my head. According to Sergeant Major Alice Brandon I must stick to her orders to make sure 'Operation seduce boyfriend and make him dribble over me' happens.

**Item One**_**:**_ Shave EVERYWHERE – Isabella you better listen to me.

_Oh god. She has no shame!_

**Item Two:** Lightly Blow-Dry hair.

_What's the point? It's only going to be messed up by his hands in my hair, and his big manly fingers all over my body, trailing that burning sensation all over me while I'm… Snap out of it!_

**Item Three:** Keep make-up subtle and add a hint of red-lipstick to your lips. – Isabella I will know if you ignore this!

_What's with the Isabella crap? She's scaring me. Omniscient Alice creeps me out._

**Item Four:** Moisturise

_Ahhh, what's the point? It just makes me all slimy._

**Item Five:** Go back and actually do item Four!

_How, how does she do that?_

_Right moisturise, oh crap! Still got the plaster on, I'll take it off before I put the stockings on._

**Item Six:** Put a small squirt of perfume on and stop biting your god damn nails.

_Right where is she? Where is she hiding? How did she know I was doing that?_

**Item Seven: **Tidy the bedroom put candles up and put some mood music on. No, it cannot be Barry White.

Oh thank god, it's the last item.

**Item Eight:** have the best orgasm ever and scream his name over and over again!

Ok... that's enough Alice for one day. Now my cheeks are as red as my underwear.

More to the point, can this lacy see-through barely there outfit qualify as underwear?

*** * * * * * * * * ***

I have 20 minutes left before he arrives, I can do this. I can connect these suspenders to the stockings. Ok, no I cant! I don't think my IQ is high enough to cope with this, I may have many qualifications to my name but, looking sexy and connecting together garish negligee is not one of them. In this, my IQ is zero.

I can't do this…I'm phoning Alice…

She picks up on the first ring…

"B, what do you want? And no, you can't wear that bloody dog t-shirt."

"No, Alice it's not that, I need your help. How do I connect the suspenders to the stockings? Every time I bend my leg it just pings off."

"You are an idiot, how did I manage to become friends with you? It just clips on either side of the stocking, it's not brain surgery."

_I could cope with brain surgery…_

"I'm freaking the hell out; he's just going to laugh at me."

"Bella babe, calm down. Don't forget you're doing this for his enjoyment, he will love it I promise!"

"I look like a giant red lobster that is not sexy Al!"

_Sure. It was easy for her to say. I don't do sexy. I do me. But of course Alice was always "dolling" me up! I'm sure if it was up to her she'd be putting makeup on a guy._

"B, it's simple - you are offering yourself to him, in gorgeous red underwear, he'll absolutely love it, you'll have the best sex ever, get married, have babies… ok, maybe that was a bit far. But baby this is what you do on anniversaries, you 'do' each other."

"I can do this; I can have sex with my boyfriend."

Alice is laughing at me, she's actually laughing at me.

"Hey, stop laughing I'm just nervous."

"Yeah, yeah I want all the gory details on Monday, now get the fuck off the phone and go get sexy on the bed."

"Alice…Alice?"

She hung up on me; she actually hung up on me. _Bitch_…

Act sexy, I can act sexy, I'll just lie down on the bed and drape my arm above my head… now I look like I'm being tortured. Ermm… I'll just lie flat… oh god no, now I look like an ironing board and my boobs are hitting my chin. Gravity is a cruel, cruel mistress.

Even this bra can't keep my girls in place. I'll sit up then they'll hang a bit better… oh for fucksake how do you lie sexily on a bed? _Could it really be that hard? ...For me it was_.

"Alice don't hang up, what position should I be in, I can't do 'sexy' to save my life."

"Well, get down on your knees by the side of the bed, with a killer expression that says 'do you want a blow job baby' or lie on the bed with your head slightly propped up against the headboard. Bend one leg and keep the foot flat on the bed, and extend the other fully out, you got it?"

"Erm…yeah?"

"Part your legs so he's getting a sneak peak at the goodies."

"Now I feel like a hooker."

"Don't complain, I could have gotten you crotch-less panties."

"**Baby?"**

"Oh fuck Al, he's here."

_Shit, what do I do with my phone…Fling it?_

My phone lands in the bin_… must remember to get that out later…_

I can hear him coming up the stairs, he's practically running.

I'm hyperventilating, I look ridiculous, he's going to hate it, oh God, oh God!

The door bursts open and slams against the wall, its straining at its hinges. He looks so excited, like he's about to get laid for the first time.

"Damn, baby you look beautiful."

He likes it, he actually likes it!

"I've been thinking about you all day, but fuck baby, suspenders? You know I love that shit."

He's crawling on the bed towards me, ohhh he's got that fuck me stare going on, he knows I can't resist the fuck me stare.

"Happy Anniversary beautiful" his green eyes seem to be gazing into my soul. I can feel love and sex oozing out of him. I want him so badly in this moment. I don't care about what I'm wearing anymore. All that matter's is me and him.

My inner siren is just screaming "take me now Mr FuckMeEyes, just take me now."

He was talking to me in his gravely sex voice, I loved it when he spoke to me like that.

"Baby I love you, I wouldn't want to be here with anyone else but you, you make me happy, I had given up and then you came along. Happy Anniversary Handsome. You're driving me crazy kissing me like that, uhhh baby…"

From the noises I was making and the wanting expression on my face, he must have seen I needed him. We called to each other. His body called to mine. His voice sucked me in, and took a hold over my entire body. he simply had to just look at me and my body would react to him. He was all I'd ever need, I knew that now. I couldn't live without him nor did I want to!

We seemed entranced in a moment, neither one of us wanted to break it. The air was pulsing around us; the sexual tension was running high, we were both needy for eachother. The wanton lust building....With that he slowly unclipped the suspender belt.

_How the fuck did he do that? Especially when it took me so long to do it up?_

He started to roll down the stockings with his gorgeous, soft hands, and kissed my leg as he rolled it down.

"Mmm, baby…"

He was gently sucking and nipping at my leg as he went…Oh God... I lifted my hips to him, trying to find friction.

"Ohhh, yeah baby, keep going, mmmm…. Baby? Why have you stopped what's wrong?"

"Bella honey, I love the outfit you really are breath-taking, but why have you got a Mr Men band aid on your leg?"

"OH FUCK!"

* * *

**A/N** **- oh the band aid!!**

**It's a band aid not a plaster – gahhh I'm English I don't know these things - we have stupid names for stuff!**

**Up next we go back 3 years ...**

**B is for... well you will just have to wait and see**

**Reviews are as cool as Mr Men band aids...**

**Dems xoxo  
**


	2. B is for Biography

**A/N Stephanie to the Meyer owns Twilight – I would love to own Robert Pattinson! Might be lucky one day *crosses fingers***

**The song I chose doesn't have anything to do with the title – but damn it's a good song. Further down in the chap you may see some booty shaking to it!**

**I had so much fun with this chapter, Vronnie and I created actual internet dating profiles for Alice and Bella. Bella's is in working progress but Alice is up and running and ready to be chatted up – if you get bored – we'll be over there talking to real life sugar daddies. Jealous? Haha!**

**www . sugardaddytoday . com/search/profile . php?MemberID=16880 Alice is hot! Just connect the dots.**

**Vronnie – I love you hard! I don't think I stopped laughing. She created screen names and soo much more! Shes my crazyotherhalf. Jen you save my story every time I send it to you. You correct me every time I keep a sentence running with about 50 commas, and you make it all make sense. To my Twisis Jeanne who educated me on American junk food, whatever twinkies are – I want some! Love you three lots xx**

* * *

**B is for Biography**

Heartbreaks and promises, I've had more than my share  
I'm tired of giving my love and getting nowhere, nowhere  
What I need is somebody who really cares  
I really need a lover, a lover who wants to be there  
It's been so long since I touched a wanting hand  
I can't put my love on the line, that I hope you'll understand

I'm tired of getting caught up in those one night affairs  
What I really need is somebody who will always be there  
Don't you promise me the world, all that I've already heard  
This time around for me baby, actions speak louder than words

Robin S – Show me Love (I love this song) 

"Bella it's worth a try, come on, pretty please?"

I can't resist Alice's pleading face. The puppy dog eyes and the pouty bottom lip, damn her for giving me the look, she knows I won't be able to say no now.

"Ali, it's just so embarrassing - they even make you put your age! You know that's a sensitive subject for me."

"N'ahh come on, how about I join too? At least we'll be losers in love together."

_Well if I'm going down, I'm taking her with me!_

"Why do I let you persuade me to do these things?"

"Because as much as you deny it Bella, you love me. Now what sites do you want to upload our biography too?"

_Try none. I don't want to upload any biography to anything! I didn't want some perv checking out anything about me!_

"And don't say none, because we have already established you love me and we are doing this!"

_Damn mind reading annoying pixie! GRRRR Fine!_

"Well, what sites are on the list? I am able to veto at least three!"

_I might be able to save myself from some embarrassment!_

"I printed off a list of the top 10 internet dating sites; I say we should just apply for all of them."

"TEN! Ten? Be serious Al, we're not that desperate."

_Well she might be but I wasn't. I was fine I didn't need a man to make me happy... but the attention would be nice..._

"Speak for yourself B; I haven't had a shag in over three months."

"Well, you're beating me; I'm on six lonely months of no male attention. I've forgotten what an orgasm is."

_It's true since I dated my last boyfriend, if you could even call him a boyfriend; orgasms had been missing from my life. We dated for four weeks. After the first week he told me he loved me. We were doomed from that stage. I can't even remember his name? Mark? Mack? Mick? Ahhh! I remember Mike! Before Mike orgasms were good, and then he scared them away. They hadn't been out from hiding since– too scared Mike would come back!_

"Hold-up. What about Jake? Remember?......Tall guy, quite handsome, blackish hair? Ring any bells? You said you came home with him?"

"I did."

"Well, duh B, that means in the last 3months you've had more action than me."

"Did I, at any point, explain specifically what we got up to that night?"

_I wasn't going to offer up any details, it was embarrassing that I'd got so desperate, that I considered sleeping with Jake._

"Well, uh... no, you didn't actually."

"Exactly Al, I didn't tell you anything - because nothing happened. He was fumbling behind me on the way up to my room, and blubbering on about how 'hot he was and I was damn lucky to be getting a piece of Mr. Black'. We climb into the bed and ten seconds later he's snoring."

_Before that he'd gone for a boob grope and landed up grabbing my shoulder. By accessing that move, I don't think he knew the way around the bedroom._ Ok so the wench is laughing at me! Yep, rub it in some more, im not even attractive enough to stay awake for!

"OH...MY...GOD. Please...stop....can't....breathe." Alice is looking at me through tear streaked eyes and is now hiccoughing breaths! _God I didn't think my sad sex life was THAT funny._

"I _know_, he was a complete let down."

"Oh B, you made a lucky escape. Did you hear what Leah called him?"

"No?"

"Jake with the _very_ small snake"

"Oh good God." _At least my long lost friend 'Orgasm' didn't come out just to be disappointed again._

"Leah said no matter what position the two of them tried, she could not feel a thing, and she said Jake was a flop in bed... in more ways than one"

_I can't believe I almost slept with him, I am literally crying my eyes out with laughter._

"I guess I'm lucky, erghh all I keep thinking is how his 'snake' would have looked like a 'worm' and how I would have run away screaming."

"Well that needs to be one of our first preferences on the dating site then."

"Huh? What do you mean Al?"

_If she's thinking what I think she's thinking, I want absolutely nothing to do with her and these dating sites.__Whatever you do, please do not mention size!_

"I mean preference one: the man must be very well endowed with a large snake."

_Oh God, she said it. _

"Under no circumstances is that going on my profile."

"Suit yourself B; you'll be the one moaning when I'm having all the great sex. Well actually if you get one with a 'worm' you won't be moaning at all!"

"Nice one Al, real nice."

"Ooook, stress pants, I'm going to the store, want anything? You can fill in your online profile while I'm gone."

_I'd like a 6ft tall, smoking hot guy, with beautiful eyes, has a way with his fingers and can make my panties melt. But that's not going to happen so I'll have to stick with the usual pick me ups._

"Oh, yeah I want a bag of Oreos, Jelly Belly's, Doritos, Hot Pockets, Cheeze- It, Twinkies, oh and a box of Cheerio's. That's it I think."

"Only the whole friggin' store then!"

_Desperate times, call for desperate measures, when you're as miserable as i am, you eat the contents of the supermarket. It just has to be done._

"Bye Alice, I love you soooooo much"

"Fuck off and write your profile."

_Here goes nothing.... Signing my life away to online dating sites....  
_

* * *

**  
Name:** Bella Swan

_At least I could answer that question honestly. _

**Age:** 25

_God damnit, the age question gets me everytime. How do you make 25 sounds younger than it is? I'm 20 years old plus 5? Wish I could write 24 and 13months it doesn't seem as old as 25. Come on- I'm basically a few years away from 70, I should just buy 2 cats and a chicken and realise I am going to be a crazy old woman- a very lonely crazy old woman. Oh God I'm 25 and already forgotten what an orgasm is!_

**Sex:** Female

_I was tempted to write '__**Sex:**__ forgotten what it is, it's been so long since I got any'_

**Looking for the relationship to be: **

-saucy email or chat

-Couples

-Heterosexual Relationship

-Homosexual relationship

-Casual encounters

-Specific groupings e.g. vampire erotica

-Swinger

-Toyboy / ToyGirl

-Monogamous

-Bigamous

-Open to opportunities and new ideas

-Other

_Oh My God, Why am I doing this? I'm looking for the relationship to have good sex and be bloody normal. Is that too much to ask? Is it? Oh dear God, I am going to kill Alice. Why she thought internet dating was a good idea I don't know? They can't even find me a NORMAL relationship._

I can't bare to fill out anymore, I need Alice's help.

* * *

I spent the rest of the afternoon eating my weight in junk food, whilst Alice filled in the rest of my profile for me. By the end of the day my profile looked like this:

**Name:** Bella Swan

**Age:** 25

**Location:** Washington

**Ethnicity:** White

**Occupation: **Tutor

**Screen Name**: BellaoftheBallz

**Sex**: Female

**Body type:** Slim

**Height**: 5ft 3

**Hair color**: Brown

**Eye color**: Brown

**Describe yourself**: I am petite, fun loving and enjoy having a good time with my friends. I am adventurous and enjoy learning new things. I have a slight addiction to eating Cheerio's with no milk. I love music and love my family and friends. If I could go anywhere in the world I would go to Italy, Barcelona and England. If I were stuck in a cabin during a snowstorm, the five things I'd have to have with me would be…My cell, and four books. Did I mention I love to read? My favourites are the classics. My favourite colour is blue; I am one of the clumsiest people you could ever meet. You will never catch me in a pair of high heels. That would be dangerous! I tutor anyone that needs help with English literature. Oh and I have a fantastic rack!

**Hobbies:** I enjoy bike riding, and horse riding. I go to the gym 3 times a week. I love to read.

**Looking for**: male

**Relationship to be**: monogamous and heterosexual

**Looking for male to be**: Tall, dark and handsome- preferably clean shaven or slight stubble.

**My idea of a perfect date would be**: A candlelit dinner at home, and then snuggle in front of a fire and be read too, or go to my favourite restaurant Bella Italia, and then a walk along the beach. I love digging my toes into the sand.

There is more but I can't bare to think about what other rubbish Alice wrote. I had to look away, it all got to be too much. Horse riding? Was Alice having a laugh? I've never even sat on a horse! And me going to the gym, more chance I'd be struck by lightning. But apparently this is what people want to see on a profile.

Before I could even check over anything else she'd uploaded it. I was rubbish with technology so I had no idea how to change it. At least she had gotten my perfect date right! I could cope with the lies in the hobbies section but really, did she have to bring my boobs into this? And to give me a screen name that even indicates I like dancing or going to big public events was just bloody stupid. Don't even get me started on the connotations 'Ballz' has. It's official..... I HATE ALICE BRANDON.

Her profile was even worse than mine, it talked about sex, being flexible, and outfits... oh it was just embarrassing. My favourite quote that she chose to include was: "When I'm good I'm very, very good but when I'm bad I'm better." I stopped reading as soon as I got to the part about a well endowed snake. She really does have no shame. I have no idea how we became friends! However, I couldn't wait to see who was going to want to hook up with her. Now that would be funny. I already knew I'd get no interest or they would all be weirdo's.

"Alice?"

"Mhmmm Bella of the Ballz?"

"Oh shut up with that. You know you have totally ruined my life, don't you? Now I look like I love men's balls..."

"Shhh... you know you secretly do, and you'll be thanking me soon. You'll see, we'll get some interest."

_Yeah...you will... I won't._

"What was your screen name on the dating site?"

"Well I toyed with three different names. I typed my name into a screen name generator and these were my favourites: 'Alice_likes_phalice' , I loved that one because of the double meaning not only does phalice mean crazy and you know I'm crazy but it also sounds like phallus- so I'm basically implying I like dick. I thought that would keep women away and only get male attention. See, there _is _method to my madness!"

"That's real nice Al, please tell me you didn't go for that one, God you're such a whorebag sometimes."

_Although I was laughing at her, I was genuinely worried about her. Who wants a screen name like that?_

"No, I didn't go for that one, then there was 'ShackleMe' but when I tried it someone already had it as their screen name, I was so pissed. However I did look up the person with the name 'ShackleMe' and he was hot, so I messaged him."

"You didn't!"

"I totally did. His picture was hot, and he works in a sex shop- he was made for me"

"Promise me you won't meet up with any of these without me coming with you Al. What if something happened to you?"

"Well I'm hoping I'd get shackled to the hottie's bed, but we'll wait and see. Anyway in the end I went for DolceandGabalice. You know how I love my designers and I thought it'd bring in a classy gentlemen."

"Oh right, because all the pervs on an internet dating site are going to be classy!"

"Wait and see Bella of the Ballz... wait and see"

"What sites did you put us on again?"

"The top 10 – I'll leave the list in the study, I'm off to home for a bit. Phone you later."

She blew me a kiss and left. Then I looked at the list, and all I wanted to do was kill her.

'The top 10 best rated internet dating sites are as follows, these are available to all and offer and easy and simple way to chat to those who may just clinch your heart:

1-Match

2-Flirtbox

3-Peoplefishing

4-Singlesclub

5-Sugardaddie

6-Scentofsex

7-Verynaughty

8-Singlescafe

9-Eharmony

10-Hornymatch

5,6,7,10 – Oh help me God! _No wonder she left it and ran out the house, she knew I'd want to kill her!_

Well from that list it's clear that Alice is a sex crazed fiend, and I am in fact SCREWED!

* * *

As expected over the next 4 days, I got nothing. Not one request, to say I was depressed about it was an understatement. As predicted Alice had some hits. All very creepy hits, but hits none the less. She had rung me saying she was going to Forward me one of the messages.

I'll check my email.

**FW: Sweet cheeks**

**From:** Sexxonlegz

**Sent:** Thursday25february2007

**To:** msbellaswan1

* * *

**From:** getting_jiggy_at_50

**To:** sexxonlegz

**Subject: Sweet Cheeks**

**Date:** Thursday25February2007

Hey, Sweet Cheeks

I couldn't resist someone with a nice name like DolceandGabalice;

My name's Harry Clearwater. You are one of the most beautiful young ladies I have ever seen.

Just so you are aware, I own 7properties, 3 of which are situated in Europe. I have 5 cars, and I'd sure like to take you for a spin.

We are matched well on height - you are only 5ft, I am 5ft4. I would love to have the opportunity to chat with you and get to know you a bit better. I can see that you love fashion. Well, I love clothing to be on my bedroom floor. If you would like your gorgeous clothing to be strewn across my floor, just message me back.

As a sugar daddy I would love to spoil you with lavish gifts. Baby, I could make your wildest dreams come true.

I hope I get to be your sugar daddy

Harry.

_Message sent directly to Alice Brandon from Harry Clearwater_

**To visit Harry's page and reply, please press**** here  
**

* * *

My IM pinged just as I finished reading:

**Sexxonlegz:** ( 19.02pm): Did you read the email?

**msbellaswan1:** (19.03pm): Read it? I've saved it and memorised it for future reference, I don't think I could be laughing any harder right now.

**Sexxonlegz:** (19.06pm) Erghhh, it's horrible isn't it? I checked his profile out. He was 65, I pulled a 65 year old I don't know whether to be proud or run away screaming. Not to mention he was 5ft4. I'm allowed to be 5ft I'm a woman. But 5ft4 – I like my men tall!

**msbellaswan1:** (19.08pm) I'd go with run away screaming. I've still had nothing! I don't think I could be anymore depressed. I ran out of Cheerio's too.

**Sexxonlegz:** (19.10pm) You did not eat all those Cheerio's already...?

**msbellaswan1:** (19.11pm) I told you I was depressed, I am going to die all alone with cats. I'm telling you.

**Sexxonlegz:** (19.12pm) Shut up! We're going out tonight, I can't take this anymore.

**msbellaswan1:** (19.14pm) Ohh man, I have nothing to wear... where are you dragging me too now?

**Sexxonlegz: **(19.15pm) we'll go for a few drinks in Aro's bar and then go to the Eclipse Night club? You in?

**msbellaswan1:** (19.17pm) Do I even have a choice?

**Sexxonlegz:** (19.17pm) No!

**msbellaswan1:** (19.18pm) I didn't think so!

**Sexxonlegz:** (19.20pm) wear your midnight blue back less dress that will draw some attention I'll be round yours at 9pm

**msbellaswan1:** (19.22pm) that's fine with me but that only leaves you 1hr and 40mins to get ready

**Sexxonlegz:** (19.24pm) oh yeah good thinking... I'll be round at 9.30pm. And B – please do something with your hair other than tie it back into a ponytail. I will get all kung fu on your ass if you do.

**msbellaswan1:** (19.26pm) orders, taken, noted down and memorised, Sergeant Brandon.

**Sexxonlegz:** (19.27pm) you're asking for it B!

With that she signed out. Looks like I better go have a shower then!

* * *

Aro's was a fantastic bar, I'd never been in a pub in England but this is what I'd imagined it to be like. It had a 'pub' feel to it. Bar stools everywhere and everyone leaned up against the bar as they drank. Everything smelt like cigarettes and, although I didn't smoke, I liked that peppery smell, and it when it was mixed with a hint of mint. It wasn't an overly dressy place. So I felt like I could fit right in. Alice on the other hand stuck out like a sore thumb. All heels, legs, and a short skirt.

The best thing about Aro's though. Was Aro himself. He was English and so hot. He had long brown hair that he tied back into a ponytail and piercing brown eyes. He wasn't my type at all. But Alice shamelessly flirted with him, not because of his looks but because of his accent. She was a sucker for an accent. That had gotten us into trouble many times. Like the time we went to Italy for her 22nd birthday and she dragged me half way around Milan following some Italian guy that had spoken to her once. I think we went round in a giant circle and passed the Piazza del Duomo about six times. All he had said to her was "per favore coulda youa moveey outt? Per favour." she literally came on the side walk, I thought she had a heart attack. I didn't even know what he was going on about; he was just trying to get on his motorbike, which of course made Alice go for orgasm number two.

"What can I get cha girls?"

"I'll have a double vodka and coke, please Aro. Al, what do you want?"

"Dry white wine, make it a large glass."

_So I was on doubles and Alice was on the wine – uh oh! We were going to be in serious trouble by the end of the night!_

"That'll be $6 ladies."

I don't know what time we left Aro's but the town seemed dead,. We managed to stumble our way to Eclipse night club and Alice flirted with her mate Felix the bouncer to get us in. We managed to skip the queue, thank God. It was starting to rain and 'rained on Bella' was not a good look; my hair would go all frizzy. I would have looked like 'Grizzly haired Bella'.

Eclipse was packed; Alice and I instantly hit the dance floor. I must have drank about 7 double Vodkas by now. My bladder was screaming at me to find a toilet, but everytime I looked for a sign that said toilet all I saw was the letters 'Tleiot' whatever that meant. I knew the floor was spinning, or was that me?

When Show Me Love came on, that was it – Alice and I pulled out our signature moves and started grinding up against each other. Alice could dance amazingly well and I would shake my ass and bask in the attention she got. When you're with Alice _everyone_ notices you. It felt like the whole club was staring at us, it was fantastic. Once the song finished we went to get more drinks.

"I'llll have twoch, no threep, no two, jagerbombs purrleaasee."

_I think I sounded pretty sober? Maybe I hadn't drank that much. Oh well, these shots would help._

After me and Alice had done 2 shots each, we collapsed on a sofa in a giggling mass. This was a girl's night and when ever a boy tried to come over Alice told them to fuck off and said I was her lesbian lover. One boy even asked if he could watch us make out. We couldn't even reply to him because we were laughing so hard.

_I seriously needed to find a bathroom, before I wet myself from laughing!_

* * *

"Alice! Get your fucking foot off of my face!"

"B, don't shout. I feel like my head is about to explode"

_Mine too. I think I'm allergic to alcohol. No-one should feel this bad after a night out!_

"Well, I'm going to throw up all over you if you do not get off of me!"

She rolled... she actually rolled off the bed onto the floor.

"Um...thanks?"

"B, what the hell happened last night? Last thing I remember is you being sick in the bathroom!"

"I was sick? Shit, when did that happen?"

"It happened right after I was sick!"

"Oh."

"I feel like death!"

"Alice, I want some Cheerio's, you got any?"

"Do not even talk to me about food, if you want me I'll be here...dying."

I went and found some Cheerio's and proceeded to eat all of them, they were my favourite things in the world but all I could taste was stale cigarettes and vodka! Had I smoked last night? Oh God, I am **NEVER** drinking again. This always happened to Alice and I. We'd go for a quiet night out to cheer ourselves up. Then we'd wake up in bed together attempting to piece together the shenanigans that had occurred the night before.

"ISABELLA SWAN, GET YOUR ASS UP HERE NOW!"

_Oh fuck, what did I do?_

"Look, look at this!"

"OH SHIT"

"B, we must have done this last night, FUCK!"

_What the hell had we done? Her voice was panicked, and when Alice panicked her voice left the realms of reason and turned into a high shrieking only animals could hear._

**Getting_Jiggy_at_50:** (15.09) Hello sexy lady! What are you doing online so late?

**Sexxonlegz: **(15.05) Hey you sexy stud muffin!

**Getting_Jiggy_at_50:** (15.09) Oh, someone's game. You haven't replied to my message

**Sexxonlegz: **(15.09) Sorry big boy, I was too busy starring at your handsome face, how old are you anyway 39?

**Getting_Jiggy_at_50:** (15.10) I'm almost double that baby, but I'm double the size in other areas too, if you know what I mean?

**Sexxonlegz: **(15.12) Ohh, you are a big boy!

**Getting_Jiggy_at_50:** (15.15) Would you like to come for a ride, test it out?

**Sexxonlegz: **(15.17) Ohh handsome I'd love too, can I bring my friend Bella with me?

**Getting_Jiggy_at_50:** (15.19) Threesome huh? I wouldnt mind at all! What are you two doing tomorrow night?

**Sexxonlegz: **(15.22) Seeing you of course.

**Getting_Jiggy_at_50:** (15.25) Ohh I'd never be able to travel down to you in time. I have a webcam!

**Sexxonlegz: **(15.27) So do we sexy baby!

**Getting_Jiggy_at_50:** (15.30) Then we have a webcam date for tomorrow!

**Sexxonlegz: **(15.31) Ohh you big hunk, we are dying to see you.

**Getting_Jiggy_at_50:** (15.34) What are you doing right now?

**Sexxonlegz: **(15.36) Bella's about to take a shower and I'm going to go join her. Then we're going to _sleep_ together – naked!

**Getting_Jiggy_at_50:** (15.40) unfff....

**Sexxonlegz: **(15.43) you like that big boy?

**Sexxonlegz: OFFLINE 15.43am**

"Fuck Alice, we are never allowed to drink again!"

_We are guilty of doing some seriously bad things whilst drunk. Do not even get me started on the time we got cautioned for being drunk and disorderly. I blame Alice. It's always Alice._

"What the fuck did we drink last night?"

_A whole liquor store, Alice sure smelt like one!_

"I don't know I barely remember anything"

"Shit B, now we've got a webcam date with this perv."

"Speak for yourself! I'm having no involvement in this!"

_That's your creepy Grandpa on the webcam; I do not want to be looking at that!_

"I'll delete him otherwise I'll get a stalker."

_He's 65, probably got a walking stick – he's not going to be stalking far! But still..._

"Good thinking Al, now can we please go back to bed? The sunshine is killing my eyes!"

"Move over, you're on my side."

"Sorry. Al?"

"Yeah?"

"What time is it?"

"Its 16:37pm, B."

"As in the afternoon?"

"Yaha."

"Erghhh too early to be up yet then."

"Exactly see you in the morning Bella, baby."

"Mmmhmmmm, night Al."

The last thing I remember is falling asleep to thoughts of having to watch a grandpa get his jiggy on with Alice. Alice rode him like a cowgirl and he waved his walking stick around shouting "YEEEHAAA" I shuddered at the thought, and fell into a very restless and disturbed sleep.

* * *

**A/N reviews are as cool as getting your jiggy on...**

**Up next C is for...**

**Well you'll just have to wait and see...**

**Demi x**


	3. C is for Cheerio Mystery Man

**A/N Thank you to my beautiful Beta's Jen and Vron – love you as much as I love the song Bella and Alice sing in this chapter. *winks***

**Stephanie Meyer owns it all. I'm just adding a little something extra.**

* * *

C is for Cheerio Mystery Man

It had been a long, boring week. To be honest, not much had happened. The most exciting thing was I had a new boy to tutor. His name was Seth and he was only 14. He was the cutest thing; having real trouble wrapping his head around Sylvia Plath.

I'd had a few hits on the website but nothing to rave about. They were all elderly and gave me the creeps. The minute I saw their screen pictures I deleted the messages. One was a middle aged punk rocker; who quite clearly thought he was still 17.

Alice still hadn't got a reply from the hot sex shop worker. However, that didn't stop her from checking her inbox every five seconds. She constantly went on about this guy, yet she knew nothing about him. But that's Alice's problem: pay her attention and she won't notice you. The minute you play hard to get she's literally throwing herself at you until you notice her. I had to forcibly tie her hands up to stop her from sending him another desperate email asking him to chat or meet with her. It was clear from his profile that he lived in our town, so she was beyond intrigued, and attempted to drag me out to search the streets for him. I very reluctantly declined - because of course I wanted to trawl the streets for some weird sex shop worker. Sounds brilliant! This internet dating malarkey suited her. But it still wasn't my thing.

I just wasn't confident enough to put myself out there like that. It was all too daunting for me. I liked to have a good time, but sometimes it was easier to blend into the background. I don't do well with crowds and lots of attention. Once again I don't understand how I could be friends with Alice because she draws every pair of eyes to her no matter where we are. Yet because everyone focused on her, I managed to blend in next to her and avoid feeling overwhelmed by it all.

Alice and I were having a girl's night tonight. It would consist of watching our favourite movie, drinking wine and eating A LOT of ice cream. She was coming around in an hour and I still hadn't been to the shops to get everything we needed. I couldn't be bothered to make an effort so I kept my sweats on and ran down the road to the supermarket. This was the best thing about where I lived: the supermarket was a 5 minute walk down the road and that meant that 3 am Cheerio dashes were a regular occurrence in my house.

I had my shopping list in hand that Alice had given to me. I was on a mission to get this done and be back home with half an hour to spare. By the time I made it back Alice was early and sitting on my doorstep.

"About bloody time, Ms. Swan."

Alice certainly did not have the patience of a saint; she was already in her pink fluffy pajamas covered in love hearts. To be honest the look of the pajamas made me feel sick. Way too girly for my liking. However, fluffy pajamas that were beyond embarrassing were part of girl's night. You had to wear them. So here I was standing in my living room surrounded by pillows and duvets in fluffy blue pajamas with big white spots on it. Not quite as dramatic as Alice's choice of pajamas... But still equally hideous.

"Cheers!"

"Cheers Al."

I think the first glass of wine lasted about five minutes, and the next two were all gone before the film had even been started. I loved girl's movie night. We had decided to watch our favourite film: 'The Sweetest Thing'. It was our favourite purely for the extremely rude song that we knew all the words to.

The song was about to come up in the film, we had drank 2 bottles of wine and we'd only been watching the film for an hour. To say we were giggly was a major understatement.

"B, it's coming, the song is coooooming!"

"Quick, get into position Al."

She stood up onto the top of one sofa and I took my place standing on the sofa opposite of her. We had a remote control each, pretending to use them as microphones; but Alice was currently pretending to suck on hers.

"You are such a whore Al, stop trying to deep throat my remote!"

"Shut up...Bet I could do it though!"

"You will not be testing out that theory with my remote."

"Oh...Oh...It's starting B."

"1, 2, 3, Hit it!"

"You're too big to fit in here  
too big to fit in here  
too big to fit in here

What a lovely ride  
Your penis is a thrill  
Your penis is a Cadillac  
A giant Coupe de Ville  
Your penis packs a wallop  
Your penis brings a load  
And when it makes a delivery  
It needs its own zip code  
Nine - double zero - penis

Your penis is so strong  
Your penis is so smooth  
Your penis has got a rhythm  
Your penis makes me groove  
Your penis is a dream  
The biggest one I've seen  
It's oozy and it's green

Your penis is so big  
Your penis is so thick  
Your penis is so pretty  
You've got a handsome dick

Your penis is so hard  
Your penis is so large  
My body is a movie  
And your penis is the star"

We sang the whole song as loud as possible until we collapsed on the floor laughing our heads off.

"B, we need more wine!"

"I know! Pause the movie and let's go to the shop. I'll just go get changed."

"Oh no you don't. I don't have a change of clothes. So, you are going in your pajamas with me."

_She has got to be joking. Being seen in public in these fluffy monstrosities! There is no way in hell that is happening._

"You've gotta be kidding me!"

"No, let's get coats on, oh, and some sunglasses. Let's go!"

"Al, be serious. We are not really doing this, are we?"

"Isabella Swan, go put your cow print slippers on right now, and let's go!"

"I cannot believe we are doing this."

We looked like absolute freaks. If I hadn't of already drank a whole bottle of wine, there was no way I'd be doing this.

We ran down the road, singing the song lines alternately. We were getting a few honks from people driving past in their cars. Alice waved and bowed to each one... She really wasn't all there.

We finally made it into the store and immediately fell silent. Everyone was looking at us. At least outside it was dark and we could hide, but in here, there was no chance of us blending in.

"Excuse me; do you know where we could find more vino, Mrs. Checkout Lady?"

Fuck Al, she was clearly wasted. Mrs. Checkout Lady? I hope she didn't take offense at that. I had tears in my eyes this was so funny, I really wish someone was filming this.

"Third isle on the left, you'll find it half way down on the right hand side."

"Third, left, half, right - Got it - I think?"

She definitely didn't have it- she instantly turned right and went in the wrong direction.

"Psssst, this way you donut!"

"This has to be the best costume party ever B!"

_What the hell is she talking about? She'd finally lost her marbles. Hallucinating we were at a party!_

"Al, what the hell are you talking about?" I whispered into her ear.

"Just follow my lead, if we make out that our pajamas are a fancy dress costume for a party we are going to, we don't look so stupid."

_Ohh, I understand now, she may be drunk but she's still a smart arse!_

"Gotcha."

"Chilean wine, French wine, Australian wine, white, rosé, RED... Got our favourite B, let's pay and get out of here!"

"Hold up Al. I want some Cheerio's!"

Al started to wiggle her sunglasses from behind her ears. She then decided it'd be hilarious to go undercover and pretend to be secret agents and be all stealth like in order to retrieve the Cheerio's. I must admit it was beyond amusing watching her creep around and attempt to drop and roll before she knocked over a display of Baked Beans.

"Go, go, go our cover has been blown."

She legged it out the isle and left me standing there like an idiot. The supermarket attendant was coming. There was no way I was being blamed for this; I was getting out of there. I found her hiding behind a display of Hot Pockets.

"Agent Cowslippers, I have a confirmative position on the target."

_Agent Cowslippers - original Al, hmmm now what should hers be?_

"Got you loud and clear Agent Cock."

"Agent Cock? What the fuck B?"

"Shhh, you'll blow our cover. It's all I could think of!"

_Cock on the brain - well, it had been a long time._

"Agent Cock, I should have made that my screen name!"

_Then all of her hits would have been pervy men, only after one thing. Sometimes she really didn't think things through._

"Position on our target?"

"Position confirmed, isle five, half way down."

"Agent Cock, what the hell? Where the fuck are the Cheerio's?"

"Next to the hottie with the nice bum. Over and out Agent Cowslippers, I am going in."

_She's going in? Going in where? Ohh... she was already creeping down towards this poor guy. He didn't stand a chance against Alice._

"Now you're talking!"

Oh fuck she didn't! She went for a bum grab and scared the shit out of him. Then she moved so it looked like I grabbed his ass. I am going to kill her!

The hottie turned around and stared straight at us!

"Fuck Agent Cowslippers, he's hot!"

He raised an eyebrow. "Agent Cowslippers, ay?"

Oh God, he spoke and it's like the earth stood still and everything came to a stop. I could hear my heartbeat pulsing in my ears. He had the most magical voice I had ever heard. I could feel my body calling to him 'TAKE ME NOW' Mr. Hot Stuff. He wasn't just hot, he was beautiful. Could you call a man beautiful? There just weren't any words. I couldn't get my brain to form a response. He had turned me into a giant pile of mush.

"You can be agent 'Sex God' if you like?"

_Oh shit Alice, you did not just say that to him!_

"I...I...well...I didn't expect you to say that!"

While he was mumbling to Alice, I'd moved to grab a box of Cheerio's. As I went to pick it up I felt a hand on top of mine. It felt like my hand was on fire, it was coursing through me. I felt like I was burning. It was travelling up my arm, flowing to every point in my body before it settled into a tingling sensation in the centre of my chest.

"Ohh, sorry you go ahead..."

"Oh no, you go ahead..."

"No, you have this box..."

"No, it's fine. I'll get another box..."

"No, honestly..."

"Fucking hell you two, B take this box, and you can take this box!"

_I just wanted to keep arguing with this stranger. Everytime I tried to give him the box, he would push it back towards me. Everytime he inched closer I could feel my breathing hitch. What was this man doing to me? He made me feel disorientated and light headed. I couldn't understand the reaction my body was having. I kept having to remind myself to breathe. This man literally blew me away. I hope he didn't realise I was having this reaction to him. I knew eventually I'd start to blush, not from embarrassment of him touching me. I'd be embarrassed because I wanted him to touch me more._

He raised an eyebrow and smiled at Alice, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. His hand was still on top of mine. I cannot explain in words how amazing his touch was to me. I could feel my insides flipping. I felt elated and like I was floating. The burning and tingling was so intense. Alice cleared her throat and I jumped. He immediately withdrew his hand. I could feel my cheeks glowing, damn the blushing!

"It was a pleasure to meet you!"

You got that right Al; it was an absolute pleasure to see this man! The only thing that seemed strange to me was that even though Alice was the one talking and I was just standing there like an idiot, he wouldn't take his eyes off of me. He only acknowledged me.

"Bye ladies, or should I say agents...?"

With that he turned around and left with nothing but the box of Cheerio's and a smirk on his face.

The most gorgeous smirk I had ever seen. His hair was shining under the intense shop lights. His hair was oozing 'just had sex' and one stray hair hung down onto his forehead just above his eyes. I wanted to touch it and move it from his face.

"Fuck B! Breathe, blink, and shut your god damn mouth."

"Alice, I'm in love!"

"With that arsehole?... Why? He was totally rude!"

_He had been rude? __When? It's silly how he'd been standing in front of me little under 2 minutes ago and I already couldn't remember what had happened. When he spoke all I heard was sweet, sweet heaven. His words rang out like a song and pulsed through me in a rhythm. From what I could remember he answered every question Alice had posed to him and kept persevering for me to take the box of Cheerio's. How had any of that been rude? If anything I was the rude one. As soon as he spoke, his voice was all I could focus on. If anyone else was talking I had zoned it out. That could be deemed as rude. But not this mystery man, he was sweet and kind, how could Alice think he was rude? It just didn't make any sense._

"I didn't think he was rude, and you did say he was hot!"

"He was alright, nothing special."

"Oh come on Al, he was definitely more than alright, even you called him 'Agent Sex God'!"

"Whatever B, he's not my type."

_She was actually getting cross about this? But why? He'd been lovely...Wait up, I don't believe it, was she actually annoyed that he'd paid me attention? She always gets all the attention. I guess this must have been something new for her. He had actually noticed me rather than her. Welcome to my world Alice, now you know what it feels like to blend into the background! I could feel myself getting frustrated- she should be happy for me, not angry that she didn't get the attention for once. I don't ever lose my temper and I would never get cross at Alice but this was ridiculous._

"Al, what's wrong?"

"Nothing B, just snap out of it, you don't even know his name!"

_Whoever the Cheerio's mystery man was, I wanted to kiss him all over. All I wanted to do was run my hands though his hair. I wonder what his name was? Sam? Ben? Jack? Nothing seemed right. Who was this man? Would I get to see him again?_

"Come on B, I'm sobering up here, let's go!"

Oh yeah, we were still in the supermarket. I'd completely forgotten everything!

She physically had to drag me out of the shop. She moaned at me all the way home about acting like a love sick idiot. That I'd only just met him and I was silly to start fantasising about him.

"Sorry Al, I don't know how to explain, I just have never felt like that before. I can't even remember his face really; all I can remember is the way his hand felt on top of mine."

_It was true; I couldn't remember how his face really looked. All I could feel was the burning sensation running through my hand up into my arm. Burying itself deep into my core. My body really was calling to this mystery man. I honestly have never felt like this before, and I was scared. This was all so new to me. He was plaguing my every thought and I found myself having to shake myself out of it and come back to reality._

"Just stop talking about it B, maybe you'll bump into him again. He's probably from around here, so you're bound to eventually cross paths with the Cheerio's mystery man."

_I hope so!_

I really did hope that I'd get to see him again. I don't know what he'd done to me but he was all I could think about.

As we walked into the living room I could hear my laptop beeping.

_Who the bloody hell was emailing me at this time of night? It was late, after 10pm. I bet it was a hit from the dating website. Another freak out to letch onto me! I hated these dating sites. Nothing good could come from any of this._

"Al, I've got mail. Will you check it while I go get a bowl for my Cheerio's?"

I walked into the kitchen and found myself stroking the box where his hand had been. Oh God I really needed to get a grip.

"B - Get in here."

I ran from the kitchen to the living room and was out of breath. Seriously I needed to get some exercise! But in all fairness this is me we are talking about, as if I would actually go to the gym. No doubt I'd be asked to leave anyway because I was too lethal to be around anyone. I was beyond clumsy so maybe I'd just stay unfit, seemed far safer for everyone else involved.

"What?"

"Look - we've been asked on a double date."

"Do I really wanna look? Or should I just say no now?"

"Look, now. They're hot!"

* * *

**  
From:** TheSilverFox

**To:** msbellaswan1

**Subject: Double date**

**Date:** Saturday6March2007

Hello Isabella,

I am messaging you in the hope you would like to accompany me on a date. I have a friend on this website that goes by the name The_Chief. He would love the opportunity to take your friend Alice on a date. Please excuse my forwardness but the two of us would be elated if you two would be willing to join us on a dinner date at our favourite restaurant Skyline. The restaurant is in the middle of Forks. From your biographies I can see that you, in fact, live in forks. Therefore, this shouldn't be a problem for you. We could arrange for one of our chauffeurs to come and collect you, or if you would prefer to make your own way there, that would also be fine.

If you would like to consider coming on this dinner date, please do not hesitate to get in contact with me or my friend and we shall make arrangements.

I hope you will consider our proposal for dinner.

On behalf of my friend C. Black and myself we hope to hear from you in the near future.

C. Masen.

_Message sent directly to Isabella Swan from C. Masen_

**To visit C. Masen's page and reply, please press ****here  
**

* * *

"I checked out their profiles and they are hot. The Silver Fox directly messaged you and I had the same message from The Chief. Bells this is so exciting."

_Yeah, really exciting... bloody scary more like._

"Before you say anything, I think we should consider going. The restaurant is a 15 minute drive from here. It's the most expensive restaurant in town. This could be our only chance to ever go to a place like that! Pretty please B, please say we can go."

"I don't know, this all seems really real now, and scary. These people are strangers."

"But, if Cheerio mystery man asked you on a date, you'd say yes."

It's true. I would say yes to anything that man asked me to do. I knew I was putty in his hands and I didn't even know anything about him. But if he only bought Cheerio's clearly we were meant to be. If only I could find the Cheerio man on this internet dating site. Suck it up Swan - it's never going to happen. I'll go, but for Alice's sake only.

"Ok, I'll come. But - the minute it gets weird, I'm leaving. I'm not drinking, I am driving. I do not want them picking us up. That means they will know where we live and I do not want that. We will meet them there. I am taking pepper spray in my bag, and any other weapon of mass destruction I can fit in there. You write the message back and sort out the arrangements. I can't believe I'm doing this."

_I doubt I'll fit much in my bag. The weapon of choice will no doubt end up being a pen, but you know - better than nothing!_

"Thanks Bella baby, you won't regret it, I promise."

_I had heard that before and I have definitely regretted letting Alice have her own way._

"Al, what website are these men from?"

"The Sugar Daddy one...why?"

"Do you not think it's a bit weird that we've only really had messages from old men?"

"Yeah, but these ones aren't that old!"

"Hit me with a number."

"Well the one that messaged you 'TheSilverFox' is 45 years old and 'The_Cheif' is 46 years old. So they aren't that old, _really_!"

"Al, I hate to break it to you, but, my Dad's 47 years old."

_That makes these men technically old enough to be my dad and, to be honest, that's just gross! What if I call one of them Dad over the table? Oh God! And a worse thought is, what if they like me calling them Dad and get a kick out of it? What have I gotten myself into?_

"Well, he had you young, so that's different!"

"You say that, yet your Dad is also under 50!"

"Yeah, well older men make brilliant lovers, so they say. They are more experienced... they've had more practice."

_She winked... this is not a good sign... Alice is up to something._

"Or, they are just wrinklier than someone our age."

Not that I plan on finding out if they are wrinkly. Clothes on this date are without a doubt staying on! Alice had that look in her eye. A dangerous look that let me know she was more than up for finding out if older men were better in bed or not. I personally didn't want to ever know.

One week until I am put through hell with Mr. Masen and Mr. Black, I am going to need all the luck in the world.

"Al, I need another glass of wine, I'm stressed about this already."

Stressed is an understatement, I'm in full panic mode... whilst Alice is bouncing around humming. I'm scared shitless and she's beyond excited. This is not going to go well!

...Dear God, please help me.

* * *

**A/N Who is the mystery Cheerio man? Any guesses?**

**You know I love you, I really do... if you press review...You show you love me too.**

(ohh look it rhymed)

A bit of rec'ing – please go read:

The Vampire in the Basement

Let your Light Shine

Finding Bella

All found in my favs – totally worth it – they owned my ass this week.


	4. D is for Daddy, Sugar Daddy

**A/N Stephanie Meyer is the legend that owns the Twilight Saga**

**To my beautiful beta's Vroni and Jen – love you both hard – you make this good!!**

**Time for some Sugar Daddy loving – warning some OOC!**

* * *

**  
D is for Daddy – Sugar Daddy  
**

What the bloody hell have I gotten myself into?

If Alice's IM conversation with her date is anything to go by. .SCREWED!

**  
The_Chief:** (20.11pm): I can't wait to see you beautiful. I've been thinking about you all day. Especially when I made an arrest earlier ;)

**Sexxonlegz:** (20.13pm): Oh yeah? Why's that? Fantasising about arresting me and keeping me prisoner in your bedroom?

**The_Chief:** (20.15pm): That's exactly what I was thinking baby.

**Sexxonlegz:** (20.15pm): Is that a promise?

**The_Chief:** (20.17pm): Oh that's a promise alright. You've been a very bad girl. You have to pay for your bad behaviour. A punishment is in order. A minimum of 12 hours naked in my bed!

**Sexxonlegz:** (20.19pm): Oh maybe I'll be a bad girl more often.

**The_Chief:** (20.20pm): Grrrrr, will I get to see your wild side?

**Sexxonlegz:** (20.22pm): You'll get to see me any way you want.

**The_Chief:** (20.23pm): Mmmm, baby. You don't know what you do to me.

**Sexxonlegz:** (20.24pm): No baby, you just wait and see what I can do for you.

**The_Chief:** (20.25pm): Oh you're a bad, bad girl.

**Sexxonlegz:** (20.24pm): Baby, you haven't seen just how bad I can be!

To say I was shitting myself about this date was an understatement. Alice's conversation with her lover boy scared me beyond belief. She hadn't even met this guy and was already talking about having crazy sex with him. What is up with that? I hadn't even spoken to my date yet. I'd appeared off-line all week- too scared he'd pop up and talk to me. I realised I was in denial that this date was even happening but it was the only way I could function properly during the week. I found it's far easier living in Bella Land than the real world.

_  
From: Ali_

_Look B, just go online, say hey and see what happens from there. You don't have to promise him anything. Just introduce yourself. It'll make you feel more comfortable when we turn up at the restaurant. Love you babe xx_

Alice's text was right. I was just scared. This was her type of thing, not mine. There was no way I would have a conversation like that with a guy I'd never met; but maybe introducing myself was a good idea. I might feel more 'at home' with him if I at least knew his name and some things about him.

Get some balls Swan...

**  
msbellaswan1:** (21.03pm): Hi.

**TheSilverFox:** (21.03pm): Hello. Pleasure to finally be talking to you; I thought you were avoiding me.

**msbellaswan1:** (21.05pm): Sorry, didn't mean to give that impression. I've been busy. I'm Bella.

**TheSilverFox:** (21.06pm): Nice to meet you Bella. I'm Carlisle. (Don't worry, I'm just as weirded out by this as you are)

**msbellaswan1:** (21.08pm): Hey Carlisle. Glad to know I'm not the only one who's apprehensive.

**TheSilverFox:** (21.08pm): Oh no, trust me; I'm just as uneasy as you. If not worse! I've never done anything like this before.

**msbellaswan1:** (21.09pm): Neither have I! I got dragged into it kicking and screaming by my friend Alice.

**TheSilverFox:** (21.10pm): That makes two of us. I was forced into this by my friend Charlie (The one meeting Alice) and also had a little encouragement from my son.

**msbellaswan1:** (21.11pm): At least we're on even ground. There's no pressure from me. I think we may just end up being voyeurs into Alice's and Charlie's interesting date.

**TheSilverFox:** (21.13pm): I've seen the IM's – I'm scared.

**msbellaswan1:** (21.14pm): Me too. I think Alice has finally met her match Libido wise.

**TheSilverFox:** (21.14pm): Agreed.

**msbellaswan1:** (21.15pm): I think the best thing to do is get to know each other a bit better. Surely that'll ease the apprehension...

**TheSilverFox:** (21.16pm): I think so too. Shall I start?

**msbellaswan1:** (21.18pm): Yes, please.

**TheSilverFox:** (21.19pm): Right, well, I'm Carlisle Masen. I have a son named Edward (I adopted him when he was two years old. He is one of the best things in my life) I never dreamed in a million years I would be forced to be on a dating site. Let alone one that's called SugarDaddy dating. (I die a little inside every time I log on) I am a Doctor and absolutely LOVE what I do.

**msbellaswan1:** (21.21pm): I'm Isabella Swan, but I hate my full name so B or Bella is fine. Like you, I never dreamed I'd be on a dating site, although until today I have refused to use it. I am a tutor of English literature and I LOVE what I do. I am fascinated by language and confess I am a geek.

**TheSilverFox:** (21.23pm): Likewise – I enjoy the geek-ier side of life. Lol

**msbellaswan1:** (21.24pm): Maybe this won't be as awkward as I first thought.

**TheSilverFox:** (21.25pm): The thing that will make the date awkward is the two sex fiends next to us that think dinner involves eating each other.

**msbellaswan1:** (21.27pm): Oh God, it's going to be horrendous, isn't it?

**TheSilverFox:** (21.29pm): You betcha!

**msbellaswan1:** (21.30pm): How long have you been a doctor?

**TheSilverFox:** (21.31pm): 15 Years. It's what I wanted to do from a very young age.

**msbellaswan1:** (21.33pm): I think that's so honourable. What about your son... did he take after you?

**TheSilverFox:** (21.34pm): Oh no, my son is very, very talented but not in the medical profession. He's a musician as well as a business man. A very astute one, may I add.

**msbellaswan1:** (21.35pm): How old is he?

**TheSilverFox:** (21.37pm): 25; 26 in a few months.

**msbellaswan1:** (21.39pm): Oh, so the same age as me.

**TheSilverFox:** (21.40pm): Yes, you've probably seen him around. He lives in this area. His name's Edward Cullen.

**msbellaswan1:** (21.41pm): Can't say I recognise the name.

**TheSilverFox:** (21.43pm): You might get to meet him on Saturday. He owns the restaurant we're going to.

**msbellaswan1:** (21.43pm): He owns Skyline. Geeesh!

**TheSilverFox:** (21.45pm): Told you he was smart! If he's not too busy I'll introduce you two.

**msbellaswan1:** (21.46pm): Gahhh, more people to try and impress!

**TheSilverFox:** (21.47pm): Oh, there really is no need to stand on ceremony for me or my son.

**msbellaswan1:** (21.48pm): Still... it's all very daunting.

**TheSilverFox:** (21.50pm): Well, it's safe to say we aren't putting any pressure on ourselves for this 'date'. To be honest I'm more interested in making friends. I think it'd be good for me to have a life outside of my family and my work.

**msbellaswan1:** (21.51pm): Good plan; you can never have too many friends.

**TheSilverFox:** (21.51pm): Especially when our so called friends force internet dating onto us.

**msbellaswan1:** (21.53pm): Exactly. I think we are going to get along swimmingly! When I saw that you were a doctor on your profile, I thought I was going to feel really inconsequential compared to you. But you've actually settled my nerves about the actual meeting part.

**TheSilverFox:** (21.54pm): Bella, it is clear you are more than capable of holding your own. Really, please do not feel any pressure to impress me. Without offending you- I would say you should see this as a chance to just spend time with some nice company, and not focus on it being a date.

**msbellaswan1:** (21.57pm): That certainly has calmed my nerves. Friends... I can do friends.

**TheSilverFox:** (21.59pm): See, it's not that bad. Bella it's really been a delight to talk to you. Trust me when I say this has some what quelled my nerves. I don't feel that Saturday will be a complete disaster now. I'm ever so sorry to cut this short, but my son will be arriving shortly. Having Charlie poke his nose into my business is more than enough for me. I don't need Edward peering over my shoulder too.

**msbellaswan1:** (22.00pm): Agreed. Run, before he can ask you any questions! You've certainly removed the sense of dread I attached to Saturday. So thank you. Enjoy your evening with your son.

**TheSilverFox:** (22.03pm): Speak soon.

Well... that wasn't as horrendous as I thought it would be. He seems like a generally nice guy. I don't think he'll tie me up and bundle me into the back of his car...But you never know... I must remember to dig out my pepper spray. I'm not taking any chances!

I thought the fact he had a son my age would freak me out. But I'm surprisingly ok with it. I wonder if he's hot. That would be entertaining to meet the dad but fancy the son. Talk about awkward!

**  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-***

Alice had picked out my outfit; I was under strict instructions to wear exactly what she'd laid out. If I even attempted to change the outfit slightly I was dead. Alice could be pretty scary when she wanted to be. Even if she was only 5ft.

I couldn't deny it, though – the girl had done good. I actually felt...pretty. I had a beautiful midnight green dress that was silky to the touch. I loved it! It had a plunging neckline that revealed quite an impressive amount of cleavage – even if I say so myself. This wasn't my usual style. Revealing my knees was a big step for me. Alice had gotten me a new bra and according to her my 'rack looked damn hot'.

I must admit they came together superbly. They looked supple and inviting. I don't think they had ever looked this good. Whoever made this bra deserved a medal – and a lot of boob gropes! I felt sophisticated and ... sexy? I guess I did feel sexy. I could do sexy! Alice had warned me this was a very posh restaurant, and the dress was a must. She told me I wouldn't feel so self conscious once I stepped inside and saw everyone was dressed in similar attire. The dress in itself was comfortable; but because of where I was wearing it, I felt awkward like I was revealing too much flesh. The dress hung from my hips in a very sensual way, and you could see my curves clearly. This dress was definitely attention grabbing. The deep green of my dress against my pale skin complexion was alluring. I don't think I've ever looked like this. _Maybe I wouldn't just be Alice's shadow; maybe tonight I could stand up front and shine too.  
_

"B, stop trying to pull the dress together, it's meant to show cleavage."

"I know, I know... it's just... I don't do boobs...this is _so_ not me... don't get me wrong, I feel nice Al, I'm just way out of my comfort zone."

"Baby, you look hot, stop worrying."

"Ohhhh, Al I forgot to tell you! I have gossip."

"Now you're talking… spill it."

"Carlisle, my date... his son owns Skyline... annnnd he might be there tonight!"

"No – Freaking – Way!"

"Yes-way."

"B, that's awesome, how old is he?"

"25, nearly 26."

"I'm totally gonna hunt him down and make him mine. If he owns Skyline that means he's rich. Look out Mr. Skyline- Ms Brandon has her sights set on you."

"Good luck, if anyone's going to win Mr. Rich over it'll be you."

_It was true, she could have anyone she wanted if she tried hard enough – the only exception had been the Cheerio man in the supermarket. She claimed he was checking me out. I personally think he was just staring at me because I was drunk. Everyone noticed Alice not me!_

"Al...?"

"Mhmmm?"

"I'm not good with the whole posh thing... what do I order, what will the guys order?"

"Go for pasta I guess... Except that can get a bit messy... but if you were trying to be sexy, sucking up a strand of pasta could work? But in your case pick a meat dish you recognise, that's the best bet... Charlie seems like a big meat man."

"Right... you do realise what you've just said, don't you?"

_Big meat man – Erghhh now I've got images of his knob looking like a giant Salami. Yuccccck!_

"Well, I'll let you know how he is in the meat department, once I get the chance to find out."

"You're a whore; you know that, don't you?"

"Oh yesss baby!!"

_I really do wonder what it would be like to be Alice for a day. I know they say men think of sex every 7 seconds. But with Al, I think it's permanently on the brain! I'm starting to wonder if she needs to go to the SAA – maybe Sex-Aholics Anonymous could help her?_

We were meeting at the restaurant at 8pm. It would take us 20 minutes to drive there but apparently we had to arrive 10 minutes late, as to not seem too keen. I argued with Al that dinner was at 8pm so we should be there at 8pm. However - apparently I knew nothing and should shut up. What I knew for certain was that I was starving and wanted to bloody get there already.

She was still peeved at me that I refused to let their chauffeur pick us up. I wasn't having anyone know where I lived. That just wasn't safe. Evidently my Volvo wasn't cutting the mustard in the style stakes; Alice thought it made us seem average. I reminded her that we were, in fact, average! She made me promise we'd park 5 minutes away, so no one saw us exiting the car. I preached to her that from a safety point of view if we needed to leg it, because they were serial pervs who planned to kidnap us, we'd need the car close by; that way we could make a quick getaway. But the idea of kidnapping was apparently appealing to Alice and all the more fun. I swear she lived in a constant sexual fantasy.

I could tell Alice was excited, she was trying to contain herself but she was acting like a ticking time bomb. The anticipation of shagging a sugar daddy was seemingly way too much. I had to drive barefoot because there was no chance I could drive in the killer heels Alice had given me. I attempted to sexually stroll out to the car, but ended up waddling like a penguin. As soon as I attempted to reverse off the driveway I stalled. The shoes had to go! In these shoes I was a ticking time bomb. There was a 100% chance I would trip over and land face first into someone's linguine. If this disaster should occur I had an escape plan – run – and don't stop until I could board a ferry straight out of Forks.

We parked up 20 meters down the road from the restaurant and for once I think Alice was more nervous than I was. But I had the novelty of only meeting a friend – she had to live up to her sex fiend image she'd created. I told her to count to ten and then we'd go in.

"1, 2, 3,4,5,6..."

"Ohhhh, shit!"

"B what's up?"

"We're actually doing this...we're actually meeting strangers."

"B, I thought you were ok?"

"Well... I'm not...We're going to die... they're going to hold us at knife point and make us leave the building and... I'll never see my mum again... And I'll never read another book again... Oh Al, I don't wanna die!!"

"Isabella Swan, get a grip on yourself!"

"Al, the reality of the situation just dawned on me, and it's just a bit overwhelming. We don't know these men – they could be anyone!"

I felt myself starting to hyperventilate. I got out the car and the cool breeze seemed to slap me in the face like a ton of bricks. I leaned against the bonnet of the car trying to placate my nerves. I was thinking happy, calm thoughts to take myself to a more serene place before I attempted to waddle to the restaurant. I thanked God I'd cleaned my car that day or I'd have a dirty stinking mark on my dress right now – however there was still time for me to spill something down it.

_Deep breaths Bella, no-one wants to kill you, it's just a meal, it's just a nice, friendly meal… this is not a big deal!_

"Ok, I'm ready."

"Come on B, it's not a big deal. Stay clam and _try_ to enjoy yourself. The restaurant is full of people, so it's not like they can bundle us up without drawing attention. Would it make you feel better if we had a safe word? If you feel like you need to get out of there just say it and we'll leave... Ok?"

"Thanks Al. Yeah, that would make me feel better. What should it be?"

"Hmmm...Schmexy?"

"Be serious Al. I am not saying that out loud."

"Peanuts?"

"Yeah... that's perfect!"

Carlisle had told me during the week that we should say Masen to the maître d' as we walked in.

"Evening Ladies, please... may I take your coats?"

I was instantly impressed and felt safer already. Once I said table for 4 under the name of Masen the maître d' arched his eyebrows. His expression once again sent me straight back into panic mode. My thoughts must have echoed across my face, because he immediately went on to say:

"Oh no Madame, I did not mean to unsettle you. The gentlemen seated at that table are very well known to us here at Skyline. And if I may be so bold as to add, they are both a great catch. So my advice to you would be... 'Go get 'em and give 'em hell."

He finished with a wink. From the pitch of his voice and the way he waggled his eye brows as he spoke of Carlisle and Charlie, there was no doubt in my mind that this maître d' was batting for the other team. My plunging neckline was completely wasted on him. He was more interested in our dates than us!

"Ladies, if you please, would you follow me."

_Oh crap, he's leading us to the table... deep breaths!_

The maître d' was right to fancy our dates. They were HOT, in an older guy kind of way. Carlisle was stunning to look at, with piercing blue eyes; he looked smooth and relaxed and his face radiated kindness. Charlie was the rugged and robust type. He at least fitted some of Alice's prerequisites He seemed very brooding.

They saw us approaching and immediately stood to greet us.

_Ohh real gentlemen! That know how to treat a lady! I could get used to this!_

"Bella, it's a pleasure to finally meet you. I am Carlisle."

_My date was definitely hotter than Alice's. I could see Carlisle turn to introduce me to Charlie but he was already staring at Alice as she gave him the 'fuck me eyes'. It was clear to see how their night was going to end._

Carlisle cleared his throat, saying "You must be Alice. It's lovely to meet you, I've heard a lot about you."

She turned to look at me, I raised my eyebrows and shrugged – _I hadn't said anything_. I turned to Charlie and he looked sheepish.

_Well what ever Charlie had told Carlisle – it can't have been much more than "she's crazy with a vibrant personality and cannot wait to jump into the sack with me!"_

"Hi Bella, I'm Charlie." He finished his introduction with a curt nod. He made me uncomfortable.

There was just something about him that sent warning bells to the forefront of my mind. He didn't look dangerous or anything. He just did absolutely nothing to ease my nerves. He actually made them a hell of a lot worse.

"Good evening. I will be your waiter this evening. My name is Caius. Here are your menus. If you have any questions about the menu or would like to alter a certain dish please feel free to ask and I will be more than obliged to find out for you. The chef's specials today are: Linguini alla Vongole, Matrimonio di Mare, and Cioppino."

_Is it just me... or does nobody else understand what he just said? Where are the hamburgers and chips? Oh god I wish I'd eaten a bowl of Cheerio's before I came out_ _tonight! If the whole menu is in Italian I'm going to be starving by the end of the night. Speak English, god dammit! I'm going to look so stupid!_

"To accompany any meat or pasta dish may I recommend a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon Alexander Valley? It's a Californian wine from the Silver Oak Cellars in Napa Valley. It is positively delightful; it is a rich, profound wine that beautifully balances concentration with finesse. It has a dark, ruby colour and aromas of blackberry jam, soy sauce, violets and dark chocolate, with hints of cedar and cinnamon."

"Thank you very much; it sounds delicious. May we have 10 minutes to decide?" Carlisle was so polite!

_Oh thank God, 10 minutes to attempt to decipher the menu. Spag bol... what's Spag bol in Italian – spaglanese bolognesy? That sounds Italian? I'll look for that._

"Of course Sir."

I could feel eyes watching me as I stared intensely at the menu. I thought if I stared hard enough the words would make sense. I heard a soft chuckle and looked up to see Carlisle watching me.

"You have no clue what the menu says, do you?" He whispered.

_Was I really that obvious? I thought I may be able to blend in a little. But he clearly had me sussed already. Oh well… if I didn't want to end up ordering something completely disgusting I may as well own up to the fact I did not understand one word of the menu. The embarrassment was worth it if it meant I got to eat something._

"Not a clue."

"Neither do I, I get the same thing every time I come here. Do you like steak?"

"I love it."

"Steak it is then – do you like garlic?"

"Sure do!"

"Then we're both having Filet Mignon al Casino"

"As long as it has no fish of any kind on it I'll eat it...Thank you... I'm not very good at the whole posh thing."

"Don't worry; I'm not either I just pretend to blend in."

This man really was an angel. He was making me feel so relaxed. I was on the verge of feeling stupid, and then he swooped in and came to my rescue! He really had saved my ass. No doubt I would have ordered snails and thrown up all over them once they were put in front of me.

"Al, what are you having...?"

_She was staring at Charlie, with a playful smile on her face. I knew that look- she was up to no good. Her hands were above the table – so what the hell was she doing to this poor man? She hadn't even registered that I'd spoken to her._

"Hello...earth to Alice?"

I cleared my throat and she finally broke the gaze she held with Charlie.

"Oh, sorry B. The Risotto Fantastico sounds lovely." She giggled very cutely and I looked over to Charlie. He was trying very hard to control his facial expression. But his mouth kept morphing into a slight O. He seemed to be holding his breath. What was she doing to him? And how the hell did she find risotto? I didn't see any words that resembled the word risotto.

"What about you Charlie... what are you having?"

"Ermmm...mmmmm...ohhh...mmmm... Cannelloni Fiorentina...yeah...oh, oh yeah, oh yeah....the Cannelloni."

_Seriously, this Charlie guy was weird... he was making sex noises over some Cannelloni. I need to ask Al if she was honestly considering shagging this guy!_

"I'm going to the ladies room...Al...You coming?"

"Oh...Oh...yeah me too."

Carlisle and Charlie stood as we both left our seats. Well Charlie seemed to half stand; it was almost as if he couldn't get all the way up. He was seriously weird. He seemed to bend slightly at the waist so his lower region was masked by the table, perhaps? Maybe something else was also standing to attention under the table! After I stopped focusing on Charlie's strange behaviour I finally noticed Carlisle and let my gaze wander over his attire. He looked gorgeous. He had on a crisp tailored sky blue shirt that made his piercing blue eyes even more apparent. I really wondered what it would be like to just get lost in those eyes! The first few buttons were left undone; it was very sexy to get just a glimpse of his chest hair. On his bottom half he wore light beige trousers that seemed to fit snugly... I bet his ass looked hot in those. He looked breath taking. He seemed much younger than his 45 years, which actually gave me some comfort because it didn't feel like I was going on a date with my dad!

I had completely bypassed Charlie's outfit. He really didn't interest me in the slightest! In fact he creeped me out beyond belief, and I was going to avoid him at all cost. I hope Alice didn't really like him. I couldn't deal having to permanently pretend to like him.

"B, you coming?"

_Oh shit. I'd been staring. Why am I such an idiot?_

"Yeah, coming!"

Wandering through the restaurant allowed me to really take in my surroundings. I'd been so focused on keeping my shit together enough to actually get to the table I hadn't even bothered to look around. It really was beautiful in here. It dawned on me that I had never been anywhere as sophisticated as this. The menus didn't even have the prices on it- probably because they were so bloody expensive! My gaze looked across the room to the far wall that had the most beautiful Muriel. It was an intricate vine design, all in gold. It was stunning! The detailing was fantastic. I'd never seen anything like it. The vines covered the whole wall; I followed one single vine with my eyes and it swirled and entwined with other vines until it reached the very edge of the wall and exploded into the most beautiful gold flower. It proves that wall flowers can be beautiful; you've just got to take the time to really look at them. In some ways i hope that applied to me. At first glance I wasn't absolutely stunning like Alice; but the more you get to know me, the better I get. You just have to take the time to follow the vine to the end to see the results!

I continued to let my eyes wander upwards until I came to the ceiling. I noticed that the ceiling was unnaturally high. Even more fascinating was the fact that the ceiling was mainly made of glass. I guess that's how the restaurant got its name. You could see the whole night sky; it looked almost black, the moon was full and illuminated the sky, causing it to glisten. The stars seemed to be scattered perfectly. It was a breathtaking night.

The restaurants décor was classic in appearance. Luxuriant crimson curtains hung down the windows. The windows created the illusion of space; though I don't now why because this place was massive! The tables were placed spaciously giving everyone enough room to feel like they had their own private area. I hate it in restaurants when you feel like the table next to you is practically sitting on top of you, and you can hear every word they say, let alone hear every slurp they make whilst eating.

Everything was very grandiose. I honestly had never seen a place like this. I could feel myself burning it into my memory as I took in the beauty of it all. I'd probably never get the chance to come to a place like this again! The tables were decorated immaculately; the place settings had a gold and crimson theme. The napkins were beautifully folded, and all the cutlery was placed just so. In the centre of the table sat three glass goblets that held small tea lights inside. It gave the illusion that the candles were floating; it really was stunning.

"B, seriously, I've got to pee! Stop gaping and get in here!"

WOW. I thought the main area was beautiful. The bathroom was something else! I had never seen a bathroom like it. It was bigger than my whole house. The colour scheme had transferred into here. With crimson chez lounges with gold detailing lining the walls, while the mirrors lined an entire wall. The mirrors were spectacular. They had to be at least 6ft by 6ft and were surrounded by distressed wood that had been coated in gold leaf. I bet those mirrors cost more than my car. It was magnificent. As I entered the toilet cubicle it felt like I was sitting on the Queen's lavatory.

"Al, it's so beautiful. I feel so lucky to be here. Do you feel like royalty sitting on these seats?

"I know, B, I can't believe it. Yes I feel like Her Royal Majesty"

"Me too... Good day to you, fellow servants... When I have finished occupying this room, you may shine the lavatory until you can see your face reflect, do I make myself clear? I am off to walk the dogs and drink some earl grey. I bid thee farewell!"

_I didn't even know I could put on a posh English voice... that was pretty impressive...I knew I was meant for bigger and better things... Queen Bella.... Alice was creasing up in the toilet next to me._

"Oi Your Royal Majesty stop it or I'm gonna fall off the toilet and I cannot pee on my dress!"

"I am ever so sorry for any inconvenience I caused you!"

"Seriously B, the accents cool - the snobby sound of your voice not so much!"

_That's true I did sound so up myself! Now to get the dirt on the weirdo she's calling her date!_

"Al... what's going on with Charlie, he seems....odd?"

She giggled from the cubicle next to me.

"Spill it Al, what's going on?"

"Well...he's acting, urm- strangely because his attention to the menu and other things is otherwise diverted elsewhere!"

"Mhmmm...Explain."

"I may...um...be...um...pleasuring him under the table with my foot."

"You're doing what?"

_Shit. This girl had some guts. I don't know if I could do that. But then again, Alice just throws herself out there. I'm too shy. Maybe if I found the right guy I'd feel more comfortable embracing the more sexual side of life. Until then I'll leave the outlandish behaviour to Al. She certainly makes up for my lack of experience._

"He said the other night that very bad girls get punished. So I'm dying to find out what my punishment would be. So I thought I'd be naughty and slip my shoe off and well... you know... stroke his crotch with my foot....so far he seems to like it."

"You can say that again. That would explain why he couldn't stand up properly... Other areas were already standing to attention... you are wicked you know that, don't you Al? He certainly likes it, you can see him struggling to hide his expressions. His mouth was plastered into a permanent 'O."

"I know, it's fun, isn't it?"

_Fun? Fun?... creepy more like!_

"Have you and Charlie even said one word to each other?"

"He made a comment about the Cannelloni being delicious, and worth licking the plate clean for, and I implied that perhaps he could put his tongue to better use elsewhere later on; and our conversation has been going down that road ever since."

"You are wrong. So wrong."

"Oh come on B, when am I ever going to get to do this again? I'm making the most of it. He's into role playing and he carries a gun. That's hot! And by the feel of it he has another weapon hidden in his trousers."

She waggled her eyebrows suggestively… in turn I made vomiting sounds!

"You sure about this Al? Are you going to be alright going back to his house tonight?"

"We're not going back to his. We're staying in the penthouse suite of this restaurant. The hotel is next door. How freaking awesome is that?!"

_That was freaking –awesome – she was a very lucky lady. But still I'm scared for her. We don't really know these men and she's a lot braver than I would be. To put herself in that position; I could tell that whatever I wanted to say to discourage her would fall on deaf ears. She was on a mission and nothing I would say could stop her._

"Shit Al. That's amazing! Will you promise me one thing though... text me tonight or tomorrow morning so that I know you're ok!"

"I'm a grown woman B... besides, I may be a bit too...tied up to be able to use my phone."

_The images she's creating in my head ....yuck....where's the brain bleach?!!_

"Alright, alright, have a nice time, and be careful."

"Things going ok between you and Carlisle?"

"More than ok Al, he's honestly lovely and really hot for an old guy too."

"He doesn't look old... go for it B, you could do with letting your hair down. Let's go before our dinner arrives. I hope they ordered while we've been in here - I had no clue how to say my meal to the waiter...It was all in Italian and I could only make out the word risotto."

"At least you could bloody do that, it all looked like gobbledegook to me!"

"_That was delicious..."_

"_Mmmmm.."_

"_Superb…"_

I am so glad that dinner was finally over. Carlisle and I had been fine; the fatal mistake was inviting Alice and Charlie along with us! They spent the whole time licking the food seductively and make 'ohhh' and 'ahhh' noises every time they ate. Don't even get me started on the lip licking. They basically had food sex over the table. Apart from that the meal was beautiful and, although I was apprehensive of what I would find on my plate, it was gorgeous!

Carlisle and I chatted non-stop. His life is fascinating; he had done so much and to be 45 years old and a multi-billionaire! It was outstanding, really. When his wife died he invested their money into creating health clinics in the poorest areas in America. Businesses supported the venture, and from what he made from that he invested wisely and got a massive return. He really was one of the kindest men I had ever met.

I asked him why Edward was adopted and not his biological son. At the time I wondered if I was being too invasive but he was more than willing to share his story with me. In fact, I think this was actually helping him. It seemed to make him relax further. I saw his shoulders visibly soften. He viewed Edward as his biological son because he had been in Edward's life since Edward was 2 years old. His wife died of cancer when Edward was 5. I don't think he had ever gotten over it, nor did I think he ever would. Her name was Esme and she sounded wonderful. What I think Carlisle needed was a companion with no pressure. I was more than willing to fill that role after tonight. I didn't think you could find a nicer man if you tried.

"How was that for you Sir? Is everyone all done? Can I get the dessert menu for you?"

"Actually Bella, Carlisle- if it's alright with you guys Charlie and I have some ...um...plans...and we are going to pass on dessert. That ok...B?"

_They were now going to go and enjoy 'dessert' upstairs – I didn't even want to consider what that would involve._

I looked at Carlisle and we both seemed to sigh in relief. I didn't think either of us could take anymore sexual tension circling in the atmosphere around us.

"Honestly Al, it's fine... you and, errr, Charlie have a lovely evening."

Carlisle nodded to Charlie - that was such a bloke thing to do. I don't think I'll ever understand the significance of 'the nod'. Charlie winked back. Yep they were definitely off to shag!

"Is it bad that I'm glad they're gone?"

"To be honest Bella, I don't think I could have taken much more. If they didn't leave... I think we would have had to!"

_He relaxed a little as he realised they were finally leaving. He went to run his fingers through his hair…I watched his hand slowly rise up and glide through his hair…in that moment all I_ _wanted to do was touch it! I was feeling some weird emotions tonight. I'm really not sure where my head was at. Maybe it was all the wine? That had got to be my 5__th__ glass?!_

"I agree, when Charlie almost pole vaulted over the table to try and lick the sauce that had run down Alice's chin and off, I was about ready to walk out!"

"He's my friend, but I do not condone how he acts, nor do I feel the need to be like him in anyway. That moment was extremely embarrassing. I think we were blushing for him."

That's the other thing I was starting to really like about Carlisle- he was similar to me in many ways. One, being his blush that gave away everything. I suffered from the same thing; it made him an open book, his blush matched with his expressions made him easy to read.

"Dessert? - I could murder some sort of gooey chocolaty mountain."

"Oh, I know exactly the thing! The dessert menu is in English instead of Italian so we won't feel like bloody idiots and will be able to order!"

Carlisle started to scan the room for our waiter. I literally blinked and Caius was right there. That was almost supernatural how quickly he got to our table.

"Are you ready for the dessert menu now Sir?"

"Yes, please."

"Here are the menus, our special for tonight is Salame al Cioccolato – it's a Traditional Northern Italian chocolate dessert with crushed Italian cookies, butter and rum, served with cream. I will give you a few moments to decide."

_Thank god, everything was very simply put and everything had a_ _clear English description! _

"Ergggh tiramisu, I hate that... coffee is beyond disgusting."

_Give me a nice cuppa any day! The smell of coffee alone made me want to gag. I hope he wasn't about to say the tiramisu is delicious – because I would have royally dropped myself in it. Sometimes I could have the worst case of verbal diarrhea! Think before you speak Bella, you stupid idiot._

"I'm more of a tea man myself."

_Phew! _

"See, I knew I liked you! I'm the same."

"This evening has gone well I think, I've thoroughly enjoyed your company Bella."

"Me too, thank you Carlisle for bringing me to a place like this. I feel spoilt rotten."

"Oh, shhh, it's really no trouble at all."

"I bet the bill will cost a small fortune. I'm not rich but I'm more than willing to pay it off by doing the washing up."

I laughed as I said this. I knew he wouldn't make me pay. He seemed far too much of a gentleman for that; but I felt that I should offer.

"Nonsense - besides - I get family rate, there is some perks to being the boss's father."

"Oh yes, the illusive prodigal son... is he going to make an appearance tonight?"

"He's scheduled to be playing the piano in about 15 minutes, so you may get to see a flash of him.... Have you chosen yet? I think I'm going to have the Ricotta Cheese Cake "

"Oh, that sounds yummy. I'm going to have the Mousse di Cioccolato – that's my big pile of gooey chocolatey-ness I wanted."

"That's my son's favourite, I think you two really would get on like a house on fire."

_I was starting to really like the sound of his son; I was hoping I'd get to meet him. _

"Well let's hope I get to meet him... So I can tell him how wonderful his father is."

I didn't know what I was feeling for Carlisle. I didn't think I fancied him; I was just really taken with him as a person. He seemed so compassionate, I found myself wanting more of his company. He made me feel content and I hoped that I was doing the same for him. I don't think there was any chance for a relationship to blossom. But I could see a budding friendship growing from this, there was definitely…..something... I just couldn't put my finger on what it was!

"By the sounds of it, you may get a glimpse of him."

As he spoke I heard the air fill with the most mesmerising sounds. They were soulful and jovial. It was heaven to my ears. I followed the beautiful sounds to a man sitting at the piano. He had his back to us. He sat on an elaborate stall; he was dressed impeccably. His suit was a rich black with a crimson lining. The tails lapped over the edge of the stall; I had no idea who he was but he was beyond talented. I hadn't even seen his face yet, but his back was gorgeous. I could imagine his muscles rippling as his fingers glided across the keys. The more I listened the more engrossed I became. I was completely enchanted by this piece of music… and this man.

"Is that him? Is that Edward?" _WOW_

"Yes, he's amazing, isn't he?"

"You could say that again!"

He had me completely captivated. He continued to play, the atmosphere was buzzing. I could feel the electricity coursing around me. It made me tingle from head to toe. My heart beat seemed to quicken. The music was moving me more than I could say. I felt at a loss for words. I had never been more caught up in a moment than that. I impulsively wanted to go and speak to this man playing the piano. I could feel myself being drawn to him. Whether it was the music or the man calling to me.... I'm not sure.

"It's beautiful Carlisle."

"Do you know this song?"

"No, but I could listen to it forever!"

"It's one of my son's favourites actually, it's Claire De Lune by Debussy...Bella, would you like to dance?"

I knew I probably shouldn't... but, the music was too divine I couldn't say no.

"I would love to."

He rose from his seat gracefully and came to stand by my side. He offered me his hand and I took it hastily. I was elated to be here. This moment seemed so perfect; I couldn't believe I originally didn't want to come. He swept me around and pulled my flush to his body. His hand grasped mine tightly and the other came to settle on my lower back. We slowly started to glide across the floor. _He made me feel beautiful._

We moved graciously in a small circle. I felt like a princess. The lights dimmed and the moment seemed all the more intense. The candles that were placed in the goblets cast soft shadows all around the room. I was in awe of the moment. The music changed to a slow melody. I could feel Carlisle's breath against my neck. We turned to look at each other and our eyes instantly locked together. I was lost in them. His eyes had so much depth to them. Our faces drew closer together and I could feel his chest begin to rise and fall at a quickened pace. I realised my breathing mirrored his. Was this really happening? This so wasn't like me! Could I kiss this man? I thought I wanted to...

Our lips became entwined together and it was soft, so soft and it felt wonderful. Both our eyes were closed and we were completely consumed by each other. Our bodies were still pushed together and I felt entirely enveloped by him. His lips crushed mine but with such gentility it was as if he wasn't even touching me. The kiss was feathery light but enough to feel intense at the same time. It was satisfying to feel like this. It had been so long since I'd truly felt lost in a moment. We gradually pulled apart as the music paused and came to look at each other once again and both furiously blushed.

We were both stunned. There was a long silence and I could feel myself starting to fidget. Shit, what had I done? I couldn't explain it; but as I had been kissing him it didn't feel like I was kissing Carlisle. I don't know who I was imagining in that moment but it just wasn't him.

"Bella, that was..."

"I know... it was..."

"Strange!" We both stated at the same time.

"You felt the weirdness too. Oh thank God, it just felt - not -right?"

"It was like kissing a dear friend passionately. It felt wonderful... but... wrong."

"I know exactly what you mean."

"Thank you for tonight Bella; it's really been - enlightening!"

"It's not over yet - we've still got pudding to eat!"

I was going to need pudding, the whirling and the moment of passion – if you could even call it that had made me realise how drunk I was. The room was still spinning. Yet I was sitting completely still. I was going to regret this in the morning when I realised what I'd actually done.

I stayed with Carlisle for the next two hours and we did nothing but talk. I don't think I'd ever spoken so much in my entire life. We went through another bottle of wine and when we were set to leave I attempted to stand up. Big mistake. I was wasted. How embarrassing considering where I was? Highly unsophisticated – the saving grace was Carlisle was just as pissed as I was. He was the owner's Dad – that meant we could get away with anything, right? Well I hope it does because not only did Carlisle grab my waist and escort me out of the building whilst attempting to dance with me – we forgot my coat and had to go back for it. Double the embarrassment!

Once we got outside - again, Carlisle's Chauffeur was waiting for us. I was so cross with myself for getting too drunk to drive home. Carlisle said that his son would drop my car off for me in the morning so that I didn't have to catch a cab down. I had no problem handing over my address. I trusted Carlisle – he made me feel safe. Hopefully when I woke up with probably the worst hangover of my life – my car would be sitting there. I hope his son didn't knock on the door. I am going to look a state in the morning.

We quickly got into the car. It was freezing outside. The wind was really starting to pick up. It was blowing my hair into mad oblivion. I knew I looked like a mess; but I was hoping that Carlisle's wine goggles were saving him from the horrendous site that sat next to him.

We pulled up outside my house. At least I'd remembered to weed the garden last week and take the rubbish to the dump!

"Bella, I had the most wonderful time tonight. I am so glad that we both agreed to come."

"Me too. I had the best time. Thank you for taking me to a place like that."

"How about lunch next week? The lunch menu is fantastic!"

"Oh, I'd love to – message me in the week and we'll pick a day – but I'm off all day on Wednesday."

"Well Wednesday is good for me!"

"Excellent."

"I'll walk you to your front door."

I would be lying if I said we successfully managed to walk to the front door. It involved many stumbles and a bit of crawling. I totally expected the one to be crawling to be me. But it actually wasn't Carlisle was beyond gone and when he tripped he just couldn't get back up. I attempted to help him up and collapsed on the floor next to him in a fit of giggles, which then set Carlisle off. Oh God we were acting like drunken teenagers. I just couldn't get him up! The driver came running to our rescue.

"There you go Miss Swan – Mr. Masen... that's better, isn't it?"

"Much. Thank you Laurent!"

"My pleasure Sir."

I couldn't see Laurent's face, the darkness and my drunkenness made him into a big massive blur. But he had such a sexy voice. It oozed sultriness. He almost sounded French. Just to nail the head in the coffin and confirm my suspicions that I was really drunk- I then went on to ask Carlisle if Laurent liked to eat frogs. I don't know where I get this stuff from but it sure as hell made him laugh. In between snorts I had to explain I asked because I thought he was French... and French people like frogs – right?

"Bella, it was divine and I cannot wait to see you again."

"Back atcha Carlisle."

He leaned in to kiss my cheek. We both knew that the kiss earlier in the night wasn't meant to happen between us. We were friends and chaste kisses on the cheek would more than suffice.

"Night, Bella. Sleep well and take some Tylenol. We are both going to be suffering tomorrow.

"Night Carlisle. Speak in the week."

With that he threw himself into the car. Threw being the operative word. That was going to hurt in the morning. I was sure I'd bruised my knees. That was going to look attractive.

I stumbled up the stairs and headed straight for my bed.

(Beep Beep)

_From: Ali_  
_Best fucking sex I've ever had! xx  
_

I really appreciated being woken up, just for a text that said that. At least one of us got some last night. I don't know what happened last night. It seemed perfect, he seemed perfect. However it just wasn't right. The even stranger thing is? We both seemed to get over the kiss miraculously fast and managed to carry on as if nothing happened.

When I think about it I can't regret last night's decision to go on the date. Even with the weird feelings it was easily one of the best dates I had ever been on! On top of that I'd made a friend, a friend I knew I'd grow to cherish. I don't know how to explain what this 'thing' we've started is. Whatever it is - I like it! He felt like home to me! I liked being in his presence but in a completely asexual way.

I need a shower, I've still got half a can of hairspray in my hair and by the feel of it – birds had come and nested in it during the night. I was meeting Alice at 1pm; I'd need at least 3hours in the shower to attempt to control this wild mess and sober up. I swear I was still drunk! I wasn't sure if I was dreading it or excited about meeting Alice – I knew she had a lot to tell me. I just wondered if I was really ready to hear it!

I walked into the bathroom and started to take off my pajamas. Well I thought they were my pajamas until I looked down and realised I still had my dress on. Shit! Was I really that drunk last night? I looked in the mirror. My hair was beyond describing. What looked even worse was my face – my mascara was all over my forehead – how the hell did I manage to spread it up there?

_Note to self: Stop being a drunk and remember to take make up off. I officially was a tramp!_

The three hours I had to get ready suddenly didn't seem long enough.

"Actchooooooo." Ergh don't tell me I'm getting a cold. After meeting Alice I needed to hit the store anyway; I'll grab some cold and flu tabs while I was there, and the most important grocery – Cheerio's. Oh maybe I'll bump into the dreamy cheerio mystery man again – but on the other hand maybe that might not be a good plan. I looked like shit; I was starting to feel like shit... Oh shit! Could I even get to Alice's ...was my car back yet?

I ran to my bedroom window and head butted the glass. Too fast! I was a little over enthusiastic and I hope that didn't leave a bump! As I was pulling away from the window and rubbing my forehead I saw what I assumed was Carlisle's son jump out of the car. I couldn't see his face; he had reversed the car onto the drive. So I could only see his back but even in a green t-shirt and jeans he was hot. His ass looked good too!

"Actchoooooo" Oh shit. Duck! Just as I sneezed he'd turn round to look up. I don't think he saw me. It would be criminal to be seen in this state. Bird nest hair, panda eyes and in my underwear. That would have made him run screaming from the driveway. I slowly peered up over the window ledge and he was walking towards the car that had come to pick him up. Just as he opened the door he sneezed. Maybe he was getting sick too?

I'll have to ask Carlisle if he's ok.

Focus – Shower, Breakfast, Alice!

(Bing)

Oh I got an IM!

**  
TheSilverFox:** (09.45am): How's the head?

**msbellaswan1:** (09.45am): Pounding. Yours?

**TheSilverFox:** (09.46am): Killing me!

**msbellaswan1:** (09.47am): I've got to meet Alice – feel sorry for me!

**TheSilverFox:** (09.47am): Ouch. I wish you luck – I've only heard snippets but be prepared!

**msbellaswan1:** (09.48am): That bad?

**TheSilverFox:** (09.48am): Worse! Did you car get back ok?

**msbellaswan1:** (09.49am): Your son just dropped it off. Is he ok?

**TheSilverFox:** (09.50am): Seemed it this morning- a little moody about having to be my guinea pig, and suffering with a bit of a cold!

**msbellaswan1:** (09.50am): Say thank you to him. And apologise if I was an embarrassment in his restaurant.

**TheSilverFox:** (09.51am): He left after he finished playing so our secret's safe. Bella – question – got any clue why I have bruised knees?

**msbellaswan1:** (09.52am): Oh, I have bruised knees too. If I remember rightly you walking me to my front door involved crawling to the front door.

**TheSilverFox:** (09.53am): Oh!

**msbellaswan1:** (09.53am): Exactly!

**TheSilverFox:** (09.54am): Oh gotta go – Edward's back! Talk soon xx

I hope I hadn't got him in trouble with Edward. So the guy with outstanding talent and a hot ass was in fact a moody shit! _Brilliant! Well, he was off my date list. I couldn't be dealing with moody!_

_Shit 10am – get in the bloody shower Bella, the last thing you need is Alice on your ass!  
_

"Actchoooooo."

"Oh FuckShitFuckShitFuckityFuck"

That was gonna hurt later- stupid damn toe! I was hopping around holding onto my toe. Stupid bathtub getting in my way. I clearly need a sign on my head today; 'I AM A WALKING DISASTER – STAY BACK!' I am never drinking again!

* * *

**  
A/N up next – APOV and her hot sex with the police chief – and a little rendezvous with some other lovers – but you'll just have to wait for chapter 5 to find out!**

**Thank you to all who have alerted, fav'd, reviewed and rec'd you make it all worth while, and I love each and every one of you!**

**Now press that little button and tell me what you think!**

**Oh one final thing. This story will have a HEA – but if you are choosing to online date – please be careful and realise not everyone has the best intentions. Keep yourself safe and always let someone know where you are and who you're with!**

**Demi xoxo**


	5. E is for Erotic

**A/n Stephanie Meyer owns the Twi Saga – However ****I wrote this so – that means Demi Neal owns this Story ;)**

**Thank you to my gorgeous, gifted and wonderfully wonderful beta's – Jen, Jeanne and Vron – I'd buy you all a Volvo with Edward Cullen sitting in the drivers seat if I could afford it, to show how much I appreciate you.**

**Just incase: – what appears in speech brackets is Alices direct speech to Bella anything in between is Alices internal thoughts of what really happened– the stuff she can't tell Bella – (aka the good, hot, sexy stuff!)**

**Lemon****s in this chapter and it's...tangy, zesty and juicy...but not at all bitter...**

* * *

**E is for Erotic**

**Alice ****POV**

Holy - Fucking - Shit!

That has to be the best night of my life so far. I had a spring in my step. God, who am I kidding?! I was practically leaping from place to place! Ever having a sad moment? Feel like you want to escape everything for a few hours? – Charlie Black will sort it out for you, that man is an angel in disguise.

He took me to places I didn't even know existed last night. I literally climbed Mount Orgasm where eruptions occur every 5minutes! But God. He was the ultimate sex God, and his dick was the Holy Grail. I now lived to worship it.

The night couldn't have been more perfect. He was a true gentleman; until we stepped into the bedroom. I couldn't believe what I saw. I could feel my eyes bugging out of my head as Charlie transformed from suave date to dominant police chief. I was filled with desire the minute he told me to stand and face the wall and spread my legs. Within seconds my hands were handcuffed and I was at his mercy. His sweet, sweet mercy. And boy did he have me begging...begging for more!

I knew Bella would die the minute she heard any of this. But honestly it was too good not to share! This had to be the most sexually gratifying experience I'd ever had. She was hearing everything, even how long each orgasm lasted. If she tried to change the subject or stop listening – it wasn't happening - this story should be repeated and passed through the ages and noted down in scripture to preserve its memory.

As soon as Charlie gave us the green light to get out of the restaurant, I literally leapt out of my seat. I'd been itching to be alone with him all night. I knew he felt the same - the rocket launcher he had ready to fire at any time in his trousers told me so. I knew it had been a dirty trick to get him that worked up whilst at dinner. But I couldn't resist. I knew what I wanted and I was going to make sure I got it. I could tell by the look on his face that he was into me. The adrenaline and excitement surrounding us was intoxicating; we both knew what was coming and we were just anticipating the moment to make it happen.

I was worried that after talking all week online that he wouldn't pull through; and his sexy and flirty demeanour he presented online would remain fictitious and I'd be let down. However as soon as we entered the restaurant and he winked at me, I knew that I would get what I wanted. I was definitely in for a treat; a delicious Charlie covered Sunday with a cherry on top!

I keep trying to think back to the meal; but all I could remember was Charlie asking to try some of my risotto. I obliged and he opened his mouth and his tongue darted out. His lips surrounded the fork and he slowly swirled the food round in his mouth. It was making my vajayjay scream, he was teasing me. He knew it would get me riled up for later! The more I try to remember about the rest of the meal, the hazier it gets. I hadn't realised how much I'd drank. I dread to think how much the bill came to. I know for sure that the wine was literally on tap and each glass took me a step towards heaven… and then Charlie's bedroom skills; took it to the next level. I had wings and off I floated; into a haven of orgasms and constant pleasure! I don't even remember coming down. I woke this morning radiating happiness and oozing sex. If it was a dream, then I hope I never wake up!

Bella was taking forever!! I'm itching to spill the beans. She needed to be here; NOW!

I was impatient at the best of times; but today when I had gossip to be shared, she really was taking the mickey. She needed to get a bloody move on and turn up already. She was four minutes late – that's it – I'm ringing her..._Pick up the goddamn phone!!!_

"Oh finally you decide to answer…where are you B? I'm literally dying to tell you about last night!"

"I'm round the corner; I'll be parking up in two. Keep your panties on."

"I'd rather keep them off… Just in case Charlie comes 'round."

"Whore."

"Shut up… just because you want to be me right now!"

"Trust me Al, whatever you tell me about last night I am not going to want to be you."

"Mhhmmm, we'll see about that!"

I could hear her coming up the front path. I ran down the stairs to open the door.

"Finally!"

"Hello Alice." _Ohhh someone was a bit moody this morning!_

"Touchy, touchy! You need to get laid B!"

"Just don't go there… I want tea… then you can hit me with the gory details…"

"Want something to snack on too?"

"Yes, my head is pounding; Christ knows how much I drank last night."

She looked really tired and a bit pasty – I hope she only had a hangover. I hope she isn't coming down with anything.

"I know- same here. The wine seemed to just keep flowing."

"Seven bottles Al, seven whole bottles we did between the four of us! I think the last two bottles were purely for Carlisle and I. You'd disappeared by then."

"Shit B, no wonder I can't recollect the meal."

"Want me to play catch up?"

"Please…"

"Well we arrived… you stared at Charlie… he stared at you… you gave him the biggest hard on you've ever seen… he tried to ravage your face when you spilt a bit of sauce down it. You then both seemed to be purring at each other… then you finally left."

"Was it really that bad B?"

"It was worse… much worse."

_Shit –I hadn't realised the sexual tension was infact spreading throughout the whole room. I was completely engrossed in Charlie- I forgot Bella and Carlisle were __even there. _

"B I'm so sorry were you ok? I shouldn't have just left you like that. I was just caught up in the moment... Was it horrendous with Carlisle?"

"Actually Al, it was… lovely!"

"Lovely?"

"Yeah lovely… he was wonderful… we had a _moment_… but… oh I can't explain it but it just wasn't right. It felt like I was kissing my best friend. It was nice but weird? It just wasn't right!"

"I get ya. Did that completely freak you out?"

"No, it's so strange. We literally kissed, then sat back down and chatted for the next 3 hours as if nothing happened. I got in at 3am. I don't even know what we spoke about. It was just …lovely."

_Oh thank god, I was sure that my balls were on the line for a second then._

"Oh, B, I'm so happy that you had a nice time…"

"Alright Al, I can see you're about to explode if you don't tell me… hit me with it…"

"B, it was the best night of my life. I have never experienced anything like it."

_Bella's face was a picture. It was screaming__; just get this torture over and done with already. I may need to edit slightly. The R rated version may not be Bella friendly. Bella's more of a PG-13 type of girl. Maybe for her sanity I should edit._

"We left you guys at the table and he took me by the hand and led me to the exit. It was the sweetest thing B; he even got my jacket for me. He told me I looked beautiful, no-ones ever said that to me."

_I could tell she didn't like Charlie. Maybe if I told her all the nice stuff he did she may realise just how charming he really is._

"He told me to shut my eyes and that I wasn't allowed to peek. I know you're going to moan at me for trusting him and just letting him lead me somewhere but it just felt right. I heard him unlocking a door and he guided me into the suite. He gave me a quick chaste kiss and told me to open my eyes...Bella it was the most spectacular thing I've ever seen. It was massive! I wish you could have seen it; it was so a la mode, I felt like I was a princess."

_He certainly spent the night worshipping me and making me feel like a __princess, maybe better than a princess- like a goddess. _

"It was beautiful. Plush, chocolate brown leather sofas and shag pile carpets. The coffee table was completely made of glass and inside were goldfish. Like actual living goldfish – I swear if I hadn't of been there with Charlie I would have studied the table all night – I was completely mesmerised with it. When Charlie had come in he put his keys on top of it and all the fish swam to the keys – you know what I'm like – I just wanted to play with it – how the hell do you reckon they fed them? I was glad Charlie never asked to have sex on top of it – I would have felt self conscious that they were watching me ... but they only have 3 second memories so I guess they wouldn't be scarred for life by the sight of my arse cheek pressed against the top of the table..."

"Alice?"

I'd zoned out for a second – right – Charlie and a one stop train to orgasm heaven…

"Um yeah so …I didn't get to see all the rooms but the living room and bathroom were my favourite. The bathroom was a giant wet room and in the living room one whole wall was made of glass. Actually made of glass – I didn't even know you could do that!"

_I didn't realise at the time; but that window would eventually be the death of me. Who knew glass walls could make something so erotic._

"Honestly B, I can't explain to you how breathtaking the view was. Charlie had turned all the lights out in the suite so we could see for miles. I felt like we were floating in the sky. He came behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. It was so romantic. You may think all we did was shag – but some of it was really affectionate... As I was trying to explain how beautiful the view was, and how I'd never stayed anywhere like this before. He whispered in my ear to make the most of it, because before long I wouldn't be seeing anything. I turned to face him and he held up a blindfold! – I would say I was scared but you know what I'm like – I loved it! I couldn't wait for him to tie it on!"

_Bella rolled her eyes but just thinking back to it made my lady parts shout 'take me, tie me up, blindfold me and ravage me again'. Who knew that loosing one sense could heighten another? I felt so lost in the moment. The minute he blindfolded me I was aware of his every movement, I could hear every noise around us. It was bewildering._

"He carefully placed the blindfold over my eyes and very quietly he whispered that I was in serious trouble for being such a naughty girl this evening. He went onto run his tongue along my earlobe. B, I can't explain the feeling it elicited. My flesh was burning. He started to place open mouthed kisses down my neck. It was heavenly."

_The kisses left a wet trail down to my collarbone. My skin was tingling all over. I could feel the wetness pooling between my thighs. It had to be one of the hottest moments of my life. I was rubbing my legs together to try and create some friction. He had me worked up and frustrated and he hadn't even touched my body yet._

"He started to remove my clothing. I couldn't believe it B, I felt completely powerless to this man and I loved it. He left me standing in my underwear and then I heard him leave the room. I didn't really know what to do with myself. I was blindfolded and had no clue where he had gone, but he came back quickly and in the sultriest voice I've ever heard he told me to turn around and press myself up against the window and spread my legs. Oh B – God it was just..."

"He didn't hurt you did he Al?"

"Oh Bella please... do I look hurt to you?"

"Well no..."

"Then Shhh... I was getting to the good part..."

"So he pushed me against the window, and I was putty in his hands B, it was such a turn on to not know what he was going to do to me. He took my hands behind my back and handcuffed me. He freaking handcuffed me. God B, I was so hot for him. He then stated

"You have been an extremely naughty girl tonight. I am arresting you for being too damn sexy. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in my court of desire. I am warning you now young lady that you are all mine tonight. You are to do exactly as I say. Do you under these rights as I have read them to you?"… B I was stunned. I could barely control my breathing. I was like what the fuck... this is hot...he continued to say 'from now on you are to call me Sir!"

_I was dying for him to touch me more. The whole time he was cautioning me he was softly caressing between my legs as he told me to call him Sir he inserted one finger into me and I was practically panting. His voice was warning me I was in trouble but his fingers were telling me I was in for a treat._

"I quickly answered; 'yes Sir… I am sorry for any wrongdoing I may have done'...before I could even finish my sentence I felt his tongue between my legs. Oh B it was mind blowing. He had a gift!"

_He had pulled down my panties with his teeth; the hotness of this action was beyond describing. As he shimmied them down he nipped at my legs causing me to cry out in pleasure. He slowly started to kiss his way back up my legs and bit my bottom. Unnghhh the pleasure and pain boundaries were mixing and everything felt wonderful. He turned me around so my back was now pressed against the window and blew across my flesh. He then started to nibble at my clit and I was instantly screaming for more. He stopped abruptly and I couldn't understand why. _

_He then breathed heavily and groaned "More what?" _

_I stammered out I meant I needed more, I needed more of him. But apparently that was the wrong answer because he whirled me around and smacked my ass… Ohhhh it felt so good. _

"_Wrong answer Miss Brandon the correct way of saying it would be more please Sir"._

_I wasn't going to tell Bella about this – she couldn't handle it._

_I immediately begged Charlie for forgiveness. I would do anything so that he would go back to giving me that pleasure once again. As soon as I started whimpering at the loss of his touch he went back down to lapping at my swollen flesh. His tongue was swirling around; I felt like I would erupt at any minute. I knew I wouldn't last long, nothing had ever felt this good. What was adding to how erotic this moment was the fact I was naked pressed against a window – I know we were high up – but it felt like the whole world could see me._

"B he was like a powerhouse he seemed to be down there for hours, ploughing and diving, suckling and nipping until I eventually collapsed into a heap on the floor. My legs were like jelly!"

"Shit Al, I can't even imagine what that must have felt like."

"B, there are no words!"

_It was true I can't even describe how crazy he made me. I must have had at least 3orgasms – he kept bringing me right to the edge and left me teetering before he would finally make me come. Before long he was working double time lapping and nibbling and sucking whilst he ground two fingers into me. It was the ultimate feeling. I felt like I was being worshipped! His fingers answered every call my body made to him and his tongue savoured everything my body gave to him. It got to the stage where I was just a mumbling, quivering ball of mess; I collapsed into a pile on the floor and he swept me up into his arms._

"After I collapsed, he released my hands from the handcuffs and removed the blindfold. I had no clue what the time was but the night sky was still pitch black. – I can't tell you how difficult it was to keep still whilst in the handcuffs. All I wanted to do was fist my hands into his hair. He swept me up off the floor and carried me into the bedroom. It was massive, the bed had to be at least 2 king beds pushed together. – It was not king size, not double king, but God size, you can't get any more mighty that that! He left me lying on the bed and went to draw a bath... I say bath - it was a Jacuzzi... You HAVE to stay in this hotel B it was just out of this world."

"One day Al… well I hope so!"

_B looked a bit lost while I was telling my story; I knew this was all new to her – she wasn't a virgin but she was as innocent as hell when it came to anything to do with sex. _

"He came back into the bedroom and knelt down by the side of the bed and told me to sit up and look at him. I did as I was told – even though I admit I did want to do something wrong – just to see what he would do. He shuffled along until he was kneeling between my knees. I thought he was going to continue what he started in the front room... But he didn't...I was glad I didn't know how much more I could take. He rose up slightly and placed feather light kisses all the way up my arms until he came to collarbone. In one long sweep he licked all the way up to behind my ear. B, it was the most exquisite thing.

_It was erotic and I could barely contain myself. I arched my back so I my breasts_ _were pushing against his chest. I needed him so badly. That was the sweetest torture I'd ever been involved in. I pleaded for more but he shook his head._

"In silence he rose from the floor and picked me up into his arms. He walked us into the bathroom and placed me in the Jacuzzi. It felt so good after being handcuffed for so long the steaming hot water soothed all my aches away. Within minutes Charlie had joined me. He told me to sit in-between his legs and lie against his chest."

_He had a hot body. It was clear that Chief Black was an avid gym goer. He had the statement V and a happy trail that led down to the most shocking thing I had ever seen on a guy. He had shaved everything – I was gob smacked – it made his dick look massive! He saw my face and simply said "All in good time – first you have another punishment to endure." I didn't know if I could take much more. I just wanted him to take me!_

"He started to massage my shoulders – considering this was meant to be a punishment it felt wonderful. He slowly grazed his fingers up and down my ribs until he finally cupped my breasts. He started to massage them, in such an alluring manner. I'll spare you the details B, but he's got magic fingers!"

_He cupped my breasts with just enough pressure that I once again arched my back. I was panting hard for this man. He took my nipples between his fingers and rolled and pulled. It was driving me crazy. I was whimpering and moaning, I just couldn't control how my body was acting. _

_The whole time Charlie was silent all I could hear were his bated breaths. I could feel from his erection that he was turned on but he still wouldn't let me touch him. He moved from my breasts down my body, he was meticulous he worked every area of my body until I couldn't take anymore teasing. Every erogenous zone was paid attention. He teased behind my knees, stroked down to my ankles, massaged my arms and placed kisses into the bends of my elbows. I was being worshipped head to toe, how he could call this punishment I didn't understand._

_He finally found my core and stroked and pinched my lips before finally inserting two fingers. He found my sweet spot and I cried out. He whispered into my ear – "That's it baby – feel me, I've got you and I'm not done with you yet." I couldn't even speak all I could do was moan. He was sucking on my earlobe and all the pleasure was too much. I fell into orgasm as he continually massaged me with his fingers; once I was used to two fingers – he inserted another one. I felt stretched but more full, the third finger added pressure and I fell once again into another orgasm._

"His fingers worked magic in more than one area, and stayed there for what seemed liked hours. B it had to be the most stimulating experience I've ever had. During all of this he hadn't asked me for anything in return. I couldn't believe it- he worshipped my body over and over and didn't want anything in return. After a while he moved out from behind me and placed himself face to face with me. Without saying anything he disappeared under the water... I was like what the hell is he doing?... And then… I felt him sucking and nipping at me. Bella it was sensational. The feeling of him pleasuring me mixed with the hot water. I screamed his name... Can you believe it?"

"He was actually under the water and doing that? What did he have a snorkel to aid breathing or something?"

_She was obviously shocked – her slack jaw and wide eyes confirmed it. I knew Bella wasn't very promiscuous and this was something she had never dreamed of happening. Every time he came up for air he would just smirk. I was at a loss for words. To feel his tongue enter me whilst he was underwater was phenomenal, he was deep sea diving and I was the cave he was entering. His fingers caressed my sweet spot and massaged my legs whilst his tongue descended into me over and over, I could feel his tongue fondle and stroke every part of my core while he lapped up all my juices. My legs were tingling I could barely keep my body afloat; I had lost all the strength in my arms. My breathing was laboured and I could feel my head start to lighten with the intense stimulation. All I could do was continuously cry "Yes…Yes….More…More….Unghhh….more give me more Sir."_

_The mirrors were all steamed up and the air was thick with humidity. At the top of Mount Orgasm the air was sparse; but it only made for more pleasure. I felt like I was coming in and out of ecstasy every time his tongue flicked through my folds and suckled at my clit._

"Bella, if you can ever have it done to you, do not turn it down. It was just amazing."

_Her pasty face turned bright red and she ducked her eyes – oppps you've gone too far Al – over stepped the PG-13 rating on Bella Swan!_

"Did you even end up having sex with him Al?"

_Oh I had sex with him alright…again…and…again...and…again._

"Well he eventually lifted me out of the Jacuzzi, I had no strength in my legs, I couldn't even support my body weight so he wrapped me in a towel and dried me whilst I tried to come down from my high. Once we were dry he took my hand and led me to the bed. We removed our towels and just lied there naked. I probably should have felt slightly nervous or self conscious, but he made me feel so comfortable and beautiful B that it didn't even matter. We were quiet for a few moments before he turned to me "Miss Brandon I've had my fun with you… now is where the real trouble begins. I want you to be as vocal as you can. When I think you have been punished enough only then will I stop." I probably should have been scared but I was jumping for joy. He took my hands and raised them above my head. He reached for the handcuffs and cuffed me to the bed. He positioned himself over me and teased my entrance with his peen."

"He slowly edged inside and then B… I don't remember much more. He drove into me with such force and continued to pound, again and again, and I was shouting "Yes Chief, yes Sir, yes" over and over."

He alternated between hard thrusts and long tortuously slow deep thrusts. I met his every thrust by lifting my hips. It was extraordinary. I could feel the whole of him B. After we climaxed at the same time, both crying out into the night; he uncuffed me and turned me around. He lifted me onto all fours and drove into me from behind. He ordered me to play with my clit...I gladly obliged. Bella he actually felt apart of me. I felt so connected to him in these moments that I had gone past rational thinking. All I could do was feel. Just feel him inside me. The harder he thrust the more I pushed against him and I was just constantly shouting for more. I don't think I have ever been so turned on."

_Every time I pinched my clit he would ram into me again and I couldn't think of anything apart from the pleasure I was feeling. I had never had sex more than twice in the same evening; but with Charlie he made me come so often I was able to take him more and more. We alternated between him taking me from behind and him on top. It was the most gratifying sex of my life, people moan missionary is boring. NOT when Charlie Black is the one dominating all of your space and completely using your body. I did not have one qualm about him using my body, every move he made reverberated into my core and sent a new wave of stimulation coursing through my body. _

"As the sun came up. We finally collapsed. We lay down next to each other and drifted off to sleep. I awoke to him stroking my hair and whispering good morning. I loved it B! He made me feel adored, like a goddess!"

"All I can say Al is holy- fucking- shit!"

"I know right!"

"You skimped on some details didn't you – I could see you zone out slightly as you relived it."

_Some – more like most – the best parts!_

"Yeah this was the Bella friendly version."

B smiled as I said this, I could tell she was grateful as I knew she would be. She looked pretty bad, now that I had finally taken the time to look at her properly.

"B, you look really pasty you feeling ok?"

"No, I feel awful Al; I've got horrendous pressure on my face and a banging headache, and every time I speak I feel like an animal is trying to scratch its way out of my throat."

"Isabella Swan, get yourself home and tucked up in bed."

"Al, you sure? I wanted to see you!"

"No B, you've listened to my story and now you need to be in bed – best place for you!"

"Ok, thanks Al, I'm glad you had fun last night! I'm gonna stop at the store to get some cold and flu meds and some Cheerio's and then fall headfirst into my bed!"

"I'll call you later to check on you, ok?"

"Thanks Al, love ya!"

"Love ya too babe, wrap up warm – here wear these."

I ran to the closet and got a hat and scarf – if she was coming down with a cold, her temperature would constantly be shifting. She would start to burn up and then start shivering so I placed a woolly hat on her head and a scarf around her neck. She looked so cute! She didn't even fight me off – she was definitely sick.

"Mmmm…thanks… Bye."

She left coughing and sneezing – erghhh – she needed to be in quarantine 'cause I was not catching that!

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**Bella POV**

_I feel like utter crap!_

I'd just sneezed all over the windshield, it was disgusting! Normally I would have moaned at Al for putting this stupid get up on me. I knew hats didn't suit me. But I was so cold I didn't care. I just wanted my Cheerio's and meds and then I wasn't leaving the house until it was completely necessary.

I pulled up in the supermarket parking lot and quickly rushed inside; I didn't even bother with a basket. As I headed straight for the cereal isle I suddenly came to an abrupt halt. What if the Cheerio Mystery Man was down there? I couldn't go down there looking like this. In the 10minutes it took to get from Alice's my nose had transformed into something Rudolph the Reindeer would be proud of. I couldn't let him see me in this state – all week I'd hung around reading the back of the Cheerio box hoping he'd just come waltzing down the isle. Now all I wanted was for him not to be here. I slowly crept towards the isle checking all around me. I couldn't see him. I peaked round the corner to the isle and saw it was completely free. Thank God! I ran to the boxes and grabbed two just incase I couldn't get out for a week because I was bed bound with illness.

With my stash of Cheerio's under my arm – I scanned the isle names for the medicines and pills...Cleaning products…Dairy…Pizzas…Health and Beauty…Isle 6!

I made my way there, trying to blend in; I just wanted to get home and wallow in my illness! I peaked round into the isle and checked no-one was down there. I walked towards the cough and cold medicine and instantly became stuck. 20 choices of cough syrup and I am the most indecisive person in the world! I could be here a while…

Do I go with the heavy duty Nyquil and knock myself out for 3days and hope I wake up better? Or do I chose the Aleve Cold and Sinus and stay slightly coherent?

"If I were you I'd pick the Nyquil. You become slightly delirious and you don't realize how much you're suffering." The voice sounded scratchy and muffled almost as if he had used all his energy just to say this to me.

I slowly turned round to face the man that had just spoken to me. My face transformed into the biggest smile as I took in his appearance. Beanie hat and scarf, a big coat, and even a pair of gloves with the fingertips cut off. All I could make out were his piercing green eyes. He had the scarf wrapped tightly round his neck so it covered his lips and most of his ears. He looked stupider than I did, and he sounded worse – it actually made me feel a bit better. But the eyes looked familiar, I felt at home when I looked into his eyes. I could feel my knees start to weaken as I thought back to a few weeks ago when I'd been here with Alice and all I remembered were bolts of electricity coursing through my body and those green eyes.

_Oh My God – It was him – It was Cheerio Mystery Man – I was sure of it. Or at least I think it's him? Shit what do I say, I've got to keep him talking 'till I've sussed out whether it's him or not. If I could just touch his hand – then I'd know!_

"Let me guess you're dying too?" My cold was definitely starting to get worse I was sounding like I'd swallowed a frog and it had set up home in the back of my throat.

"I just came for more flu meds and some Cheerio's." His voice sounded like he'd swallowed a frog, his whole family and all the characters from Wind in The Willows. I hope I don't end up that ill.

I raised my two boxes of Cheerio's up "Great minds think alike. All I need now is a warm drink and my bed."

"That's exactly what I need." He nodded his head in agreement as he looked to my two boxes of cheerios.

"I'm freezing cold; I just can't seem to get warm. I went around to my friend Alice's house and I got dumped with the hat and the scarf. But I'm not complaining now- I cannot stop shivering. I don't feel like I stand out as badly now that I see your getup though"

_Maybe I shouldn't have said that to him. I basically just insulted him and said he looked stupid – but in all honesty he would look hot in a plastic sack, ah hell he always looks hot._

I really was shivering and I could feel my throat starting to grate as I spoke. It now felt like I'd swallowed a whole set of knives, and they'd set up shop next to the frog already inhabiting my throat!

"I'm currently in the burning up stage, but I'm so sick of taking layers off because I'm hot to then turn round and put them straight back on. My body can't decide- it's one extreme to the other."

_You can strip off all you want – I wouldn't mind- in fact, I'd rather enjoy it._

I could feel my face burning up as I thought about naked cheerio man. He seemed to be gazing into my eyes. It was wonderful and unnerving at the same time it was almost as if he could see straight into my mind and knew what I was thinking.

"I'm not quite at that stage, but I can feel it coming. At least we can talk to each other – I know I'm going to be in quarantine from my whole family – I think I may be safer just hiding in my house till it's over."

"Same here- my Dad sent me here with strict instructions to get more meds and vitamins – not that I can even swallow any of them so I don't really see the point. Then I was told to go straight home and not to re-emerge until I was better. But if you're already sick – I think we should make the most of it and talk to each other now – you're probably the only person I'm going to see and talk to in the next three days."

"Well I feel privileged; even if you are sicker than I am and are possibly infecting me even more!"

I smiled after I said this, just so he knew I was joking. I wanted him to stay talking to me forever; I would stay with him even if he had chicken pox and I had every chance of catching them. It was a price I was willing to pay just to have him look deeply into my eyes.

"What vitamins did your Dad prescribe – if they are good enough for you – they're good enough for me – I want in!"

"Well he said I needed lots of vitamin C – so to get a pill form and stock up on OJ. On top of that Zinc and Echinacea and some vitamin D."

I knew about drinking orange juice; but the rest was all new to me... His dad seemed to know his stuff...

"What is he a doctor or something?"

"That's exactly what he is." He croaked out.

"In that case, doctor's orders – I think we should listen to him – I didn't think about asking a doctor. I've got a good friend who's a doctor – he would know the magic cure."

"Well my Dad's been a doctor for 15years, so I think we can trust him."

"Sounds perfect to me – lead the way to the miracle cure."

I hadn't even heard of Echinacea – but if the beautiful cheerio man said it would work – I was taking it. I followed him, I was walking just beside him, our arms were swinging and were dangerously close to touching, but we never grazed each other. It was infuriating- I was dying to make sure this was _**my**_ Cheerio Man.

If it wasn't I'd just discovered a new man I desperately wanted and all I had seen was his eyes… I have serious problems… Go on a date with a 45year old man… Get all giddy and stalk around the supermarket hoping I'll bump into Cheerio Mystery Man whose face I can't even remember because I was too mesmerised by his touch and now I had Mr. hot sexy eyes. I needed a hard slap in the face to bring me back to reality.

"Hello?...Here you go?"

_Oh shit – I'd wandered off to a distant corner of my mind and forgot to come back – dreaming of me and three other wonderful guys seems to have that affect!_

"Oh… Thanks…"

"You were miles away – you sure you didn't secretly neck that bottle of Nyquil when I wasn't looking?"

I smiled at him, and shook my head – maybe I should have agreed – at least then it would have explained my weirdness? At least even in his ill state he still had a sense of humour.

"What else do we need? I'm seriously starting to feel lousy- I need my bed."

I could feel tiny beads of sweat gathering on my forehead. Not only was I sick but I was starting to look even worse than I did this morning. The shower had some what calmed the birds nest hair and removed the make up but I still looked like I'd been heavily drinking and didn't get to sleep till 4am…I couldn't let him see me like this.

"Yeah… I need you in my bed too!"

_Huh? What did he just say? Did he just say he wanted…me…in…his…bed?_

"Huh?"

"Oh…um…yeah…I need my bed too I said."

"Oh right, yeah – let's grab your Cheerio's and go."

Maybe I was getting an ear infection too? … That's the last thing I need right now!

"Got 'em."

"Right lets go. Thank you for the help and passing on the Doctors advice. Say thanks to your dad for saving another life… Hopefully all this stuff will make us feel better."

We approached the checkouts and both went to place our items on the same conveyor belt and our fingers entwined as we placed our boxes of Cheerio's on the belt.

"Oh, I'm..."

"No...my…fault…I'm…"

"I'm sorry" we both croaked out at the same time.

"It's fine, really, it was my fault."

"No sorry, it was mine – I'll go onto the next checkout."

"No, you don't have to I will."

"No, I insist you stay here and I'll move over there – besides you're the lady and it's just right that I be the one who moves."

So much was whizzing through my head – our fingers had touched, and I'd felt it- that same flow of energy that coursed through every vein in my body before it ignited as it reached my heart, I felt my breathing hitch and my temperature rise as my suspicions were confirmed. This was_**my**_Cheerio Mystery Man.

Our fingers were still entwined and I looked up to try and see if he felt it too. We had both mumbled about moving but the whole time we remained connected together by our interlaced fingers. His eyes had widened; but the rest of his face was covered so I couldn't tell what his true reaction was. We both sucked in some much-needed air and broke into loud coughs and splutters. Our fingers pulled apart as we tried to muffle our coughs. I instantly felt a loss and wanted it back. I_ needed_ him to touch me.

He quickly grabbed his Cheerio's and went to the next checkout. We kept glancing up at each other, before swiftly diverting our eyes back down. I couldn't explain what was going on. My emotions were running as high as my fever. I felt delirious with all the new sensations this man created inside me. The air around us was buzzing and I knew he could feel it too. He kept looking directly at me before his eyes began to scan the area around us as if he was looking for something- anything to explain what he could feel.

We both paid and said our 'Thank You's' to the checkout ladies. We met at the end of the checkouts and turned to each other.

"I just wanted to…um…say thanks for today…and helping me pick out what I needed."

I just wanted to prolong our meeting for a bit longer, I was racking my brain for anything; any little bit of information I could say out loud so I could stay in his presence for one more second.

"Really, there is no need to say thank you. It is my pleasure... I hope you feel better soon."

"You too. No doubt I'll bump into you again, when we both run out of Cheerio's."

"I hope I bump into you again." He whispered.

_I'd heard it that time. Loud and clear Radio station Bella had crystal clear signal, was running on full frequency and heard that perfectly…Even with a hat on, covering my ears I clearly heard him say it. My heart was jumping for joy. All the blood in my system seemed to flow to my heart and it swelled with what I'd just heard. He hoped to see me again. Me… Me… Bella Swan… again…gahhhhh!_

_Fuck – what do I say? Just pretend like I didn't hear it. Why am I so crappy with men?_

"Urm… yeah…Thank you again for your help, see you soon."

"Yeah, Bye." His voice sounded so strained, as if he was in pain and not just from his sore throat.

We exited the shop and I went left and he went right. I didn't dare turn back to look. What if I turned and he was looking at me, what would I do then? I wonder if he was looking at me. Maybe if I quickly glanced back, just one look…

**"Oh fuck, shit, buggery, fuck."**

I tried to turn my head too fast and lost my footing as my eyes blurred from my sudden movement. I wobbled and my knee smashed into the side of the bench my shopping bag exploded and there were oranges rolling under cars and pills spilling all over the floor. I was such a bloody idiot.

You are the clumsiest woman in the world – what on earth possessed you to think you could move quickly, pay attention and still keep your footing under control? I really was an idiot!

I bent down to start to gather up my items picking them up slowly...I would need another bag so as I stood back up to place the items on a nearby bench. My head smacked into something extremely hard and I instantly fell back; I could feel my eyes roll into the back of my head as I tried to focus my sight. Fuck! What the hell was that?

"Shit." – that definitely wasn't my voice that said that. I tried to sit up to see where the voice had come from and I smacked into the solid thing again. Before I could fall back again I realized I'd bumped into Cheerio Man and he was holding his head just like I was. His scarf had fallen off and I could see his perfect lips and bright red nose that matched mine. Our lips were almost touching where our heads had once again collided. Our breathing was frantic and our eyes ghosted over each other's faces as we took in the close proximity we were to each other.

We both went to speak and our lips slightly grazed each other, the shock that rocketed through my body as his lips met mine sent more blood flowing to my already throbbing head. I could feel my head start to cloud over and my vision start to blur. My head started to pound more ferociously. The images in front of me; his face, the bench, the cars, the pavement all muddled into one big grey vision that swirled. I felt sick. My neck was getting clammy. I could feel my throat constricting. It felt like my blood was rushing from my head to my toes and back again. I was spinning, I was still; I couldn't work out where I was. I tried to blink rapidly to clear my eyes. I saw green, bright vivid green that shone like perfect emeralds…

I could smell sunshine and honey; it smelt wonderful. I continued to try and regain my vision and could make out Cheerio Mans body shape as my body lumped forward and I collapsed face first into something padded; it smelt wonderful, it was soft, but I could feel a slight bulge against my nose. I tried to catch my breath to reawaken myself fully…but everything swirled once again and…I….was….gone…

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**A/n Ohhh…. Where has Bella gone?**

**I am in the process on finishing the next chapter, but I've got a crazy week this week – and its my birthday – so I should hopefully be drunk quite a bit over the next few days - so it should be out by the weekend – if all goes to plan! The next chapter is funny – even if I say so myself. I think you'll rather enjoy it… I loved writing it…**

**F is for… well you'll just have to wait and see…**

**Reviews make my day… your support has been amazing nearly 1,100 hits Thank You so much!**

**Dems xoxo**


	6. F is for Funhouse

**A/N Stephanie Meyer owns it all – I did however write this, so enjoy!**

**Vron, Jen, Jeanne – I owe you all a cock-a-lada – or three - Thank you! Xx**

**To Mpg82 and Notavanillagirl – You two don't know yet what you helped me with but you'll see... thank you for helping... you were inspirational ;) and sure as hell scared Bella shitless sooo...I also owe you some cock-a-lada's.**

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**F is for Funhouse**

Ergggh, everything was slowly coming back to me in-between every pound of my head, I remembered a bit more. I'd gone to see Alice...I'd left to go to the store...I'd bumped into Cheerio Man. But now – where was I now?

It was dark, I couldn't see anything. Did I even have my eyes open? ...Where was I?

My face was nestled into something; it was bulging but still slightly squishy under my nose. There was some offending object that seemed to be scratching my chin slightly. Where was I?

My head was throbbing, my heart was hammering. Think Bella – think. What were you doing before the darkness surrounded you? How did you get here?

It was hazy and fuzzy. I was shopping for cold meds...and then..._He_ was there..._he_ helped me..._him_...I remember_ him_...

My heart started to pound harder..._him_...green eyes...gorgeous smile...shiny red nose..._he_ was the last thing I remember.

His green eyes boring into my soul, his lips causing fire to erupt throughout my whole body.

"Hey...hey...are you waking up...come back to me...come on beautiful...come back to me..."

The voice sounded gravely and rough but still melodic and sweet. This voice was the most perfect juxtaposition. It started to re-awaken every bone in my body. I could feel my extremities coming back to me. I could wiggle my toes. I could move my fingers... My fingers started to stroke...fabric...it felt smooth but had the texture of denim...where was I?

I felt feather light pressure on the back of my head. They weaved their way into my tresses. Fingers started to caress my hair. It felt heavenly. It counter reacted with the pulsing in my head and eased the pain.

Each stroke slowly coerced me back into reality. I started to flutter my eyes. If only I could see, then I'd know where I was.

"Come back to me beautiful, open your eyes."

There was that melodious voice again, that seemed to make my heart ache in longing but my head pain ease.

His voice was breathtaking...was it _him_...was he here with me?

I tried to open my eyes once again. This time light started to filter in. My face was buried, buried in faded black fabric. I still had something offensive pressing into my chin – if only I could focus more to try and work it out. I needed to move my head; I wanted to fully rest on the soft bulge that was pressing against my nose, it felt nice.

Centre yourself Swan. ..Focus. ..My body was bent at the middle. I was huddled over and I was face down in something.

I tried to lift my head to get more comfortable and to try and get a better look. I slowly slid my face up and down, flexing my neck – testing out movement.

"Edward- Anthony – what the hell do you think you are doing?" This voice sounded unfamiliar. It sounded distinctly female but decrepit- like it was someone old.

_More to the point- Edward-Anthony – more like who the hell was that? Was he Cheerio Man?_

"I ...uh....I...umm..." Cheerio man tried to croak out an answer before the woman butted in again.

"You should be disgusted with yourself young man. In a parking lot like this with a young woman. You are a discredit and your Father will be hearing about this mark my words."

So I was in a parking lot? What was going on, why was Cheerio Man going to be in trouble?

"Mrs Denali please, it's not how it seems."

"Unlikely story...Get up and remove yourself from the situation. I should call the police. I suspect you didn't think you'd be seen if you got down on the ground and hid behind some parked cars – disgusting behaviour!"

The woman sounded ever so angry, what on earth was he doing that was so disgusting?

"Please Mrs. Denali; it isn't what you think... She fainted..."

I tried to open my eyes wider. The pressure on my chin was becoming too much. I could feel the object starting to leave an imprint on my face.

I tried to zone in on the object causing my discomfort. Before I went cross eyed I realised it was gold in colour and looked distinctly like a zipper.

Why did I have a zipper in my face? As I slowly took in the view in front of me, I was blinking multiple times to stay focused. The material looked like denim and if my chin was pressed on a zipper then... I was face down in denim... and ... Oh My God...Was I?... No I couldn't be.... Was I face down in someone's crotch?... Cheerio Man's crotch...Oh Good God!

But if I was face first in his crutch and I kept moving my head... then.... it would look like I was.... oh fuck... it looked like I was giving Cheerio Man a blow job... and the bulge I could feel was his....Oh Fuck...

I quickly whipped my head up – too quickly and my vision blurred once again. I started to gulp down air as I battled to plead my innocence.

"No...No...It's not how it looks... I wasn't... I swear I wasn't..."

I flopped backwards and hit the pavement with a thud!

I felt a hand slide underneath my neck. It sent a shock down my spine. I started to tingle all over and my eyes burst open wide.

He was hovering above me; his face was positioned close to mine.

"Hey come back to me... hey...hey...how many fingers am I holding up?"

I honed in on his fingers – it would be easier to tell if he stopped waggling his fingers around...they kept blurring together...1...2...4...7...9...12...

"I see...12"

"Ah, well that could be a problem..." he sounded worried...what was wrong...why did he say 'ah'?

"A problem...what's wrong...why?" I sounded panicked; what was wrong with me?

"Well I only have 10 fingers, most average people do, so 12 would, infact be, impossible."

"Oh..."

"Yeah, I was only holding up 4."

"Were you wiggling them by any chance?" I was praying to God he would say yes. If he was wiggling them then there was no chance I could be going blind!

"Nope, they were as still as stone. But don't worry you've hit your head three times, and pretty hard. I've got a nice shiner coming up on my forehead where you smacked into me."

Oh God, I'd injured Cheerio Man. His beautiful face... I'd scarred it for life....

"I am so sorry... so sorry ... I ..." I didn't know what to say – why was I always such an idiot?!

"It's fine, don't worry I'm more worried about you."

"I'm fine, I'm fine..." I tried to sit up and the world started to whizz round... ok maybe I wasn't fine.

"You need to stay lying down for a bit until you've recollected yourself."

"Ok, thank you for this... I am sorry about before... with the woman...and how it looked... I umm... hope I haven't got you into trouble... of all the places to ...erm...fall into."

"It's no problem...don't worry. I was quite enjoying it... No... I didn't mean enjoying it... I meant...it was amusing ...yeah...because of the looks I was getting." He seemed really sheepish and he blushed. He was suffering from my curse!

"I am sorry, thank you for helping me... Is your head ok? ... I must have hit it pretty hard to knock myself out!"

"I'm...I'm fine... slight headache but I had one already anyway. But I can't leave you alone. Nor can I let you drive home incase you faint again...Where do you live I'll drive you home... or call you a cab or something..."

(Ring Ring)

I reached for my phone in my back pocket... ouch.... movement was going to be a problem today. It felt like all my muscles had seized up.

"Hey Al..."

"Oh thank heavens you're ok... I've been calling your home phone over and over. You didn't answer. Are you ok? Where are you? Why can I hear cars? You should be in bed."

"Alright alright, stop hitting me with 21 questions. I'm fine; I am at the store, well in the parking lot. I hit my head and fainted..."

"Shit babe, are you ok?"

"I'm ok...now."

"Right, I'm coming to get you. I'm going to look after you. Don't move, I'm coming."

Before I could say anything. She had hung up. She was a nightmare but right now she was a Godsend for offering to look after me. I had to keep blinking in quick succession to stop my vision from fogging over. Today was going from bad to worse!

I attempted to focus on Cheerio Man's face... "My friend is coming to get me... she's impossible to say no to; but thank you for offering."

"No worries. I have a friend just like that. What he wants, he gets. He seems to just know how to manipulate your feelings and says just the right thing and before you know it – he's got you by the balls and you've agreed to sign your life away."

"Sounds like our friends would make a perfect couple." He smiled as I said this. It was such a heart breaking smile it made my breathing hitch.

It's exactly what Alice needed- someone to control her and for once not let her have her own way.

"We'll have to introduce them. It'll get them off our case." His smile reached his eyes this time and I instantly forgot all logic and reason and just found myself smiling back at him.

"Yeahh... then it'd be just me and you and we could be a perfect couple too..."

He started to choke on...air? "What... what did you say?" He spluttered.

Shit...I said that out loud... stupid damn cheerio man for mesmerising me...

"I um... I um... said..."

(Honk Honk)

Saved by the bell... or Alice's car horn. Either way, I owed her big time for saving my arse.

"Oh my friends here – thank you – you've been so kind and helpful. And just thank you. I'm sorry I took up your time... So thank you... If I see you again... I owe you a box of Cheerio's."

I hoped and prayed that I would see him again. But maybe after today he wouldn't even want to speak to me again. I didn't know what else to say to him I just hoped that my ramblings had made him forget what I'd previously said. If I feigned ignorance maybe it would go unnoticed.

"Really, it was no trouble. Feel free to take up my time more often." He smiled and finished it off with a wink.

Was he flirting with me? Was that flirting? ... Why am I so crappy at this and don't know these things?

"Babe, are you ok? Do you need help getting up? "Al was leaning out of her car window, tapping her fingers against the steering wheel. Someone was in a hurry to go somewhere... Alice was so impatient. This is a vital moment in my life. The gorgeous Cheerio Man could possibly be flirting with me and I need time to work out his intentions.

"No Al, I'm ok. I'll be right with you."

I've got about two minutes to work out if he's flirting with me. Maybe if I flutter my eyelashes and gaze up at him longingly he may see it and flirt back.

I slowly lifted my eyes from the ground and started to blink rapidly. I gazed out from under my lashes. He was staring at me with a bewildered look on his face – his mouth started to part open in an 'O' shape. Maybe this was working... he sucked in some air...

"Are you ok? You're blinking really strongly, is your vision blurring again? Are you sure you don't need to go to hospital?"

_Smooth Swan....real smooth... he now thinks you're a crazy blinking nut case!_

Why did I even think I could do the sexy eye stare thing? I should have just left it well alone and left the eye fucking to Alice.

"I um... I got something in my eye...." I lifted my hand to slowly rub my eyes and my nail caught my lid and I stabbed myself straight in the eye.

"Ahhh fuck...."

Abort Swan... get out of there... run... run to Timbuktu. You've just made yourself look like an even bigger idiot...

"Are you ok?" He sounded concerned rather than amused.

"Yaha... perfect ...spectacular...never been better."

I grabbed as much of the shopping from the ground and bench as I could. Screw getting another carrier bag. I would grab as much as I could hold and run. I had to get away before anything else could go wrong.

I clambered up in the most unsubtle of movements. Could this get any worse?

I wobbled my way to Al's car door, I was a bit unsteady on my feet – but in reality there was nothing new there; I was always a walking disaster. I went to open the car door with my free fingers and dropped the oranges. – Shit – too late now I had to get out of there I would have to sacrifice the oranges – if I turned back now my embarrassment level would go through the roof.

"I ...I'll... um...see ya" I called over my shoulder to Cheerio Man, too humiliated to really turn to look at him. I threw the items into the back seat; as I leaned into the car the door swung 'round and slammed down on my foot that was still peaking out of the open door.

"Ahhh ... shit...fuck...damn it..."

I threw myself in after the shopping items and I went to shout to Al to drive but all of a sudden I was coughing and spluttering... I was choking... my throat was constricting... I tried to move but I couldn't... I reached up to my neck as my scarf got tighter and tighter around my neck. I tried to loosen it but I couldn't.

"B, keep still."Alice opened the car door, while I remained locked in place choking. She released my scarf from inside the door and I started to suck in as much air as I could.

"Just drive Al, get me the fuck out of here..." I tried to shout it, to show how important it was that I just get away from Cheerio Man. But it came out as a squeak.

My foot was throbbing, my head was thumping. Each little toe on my foot was screaming out in agony. I was trying to gulp down air to replenish my lungs and all I could hear was a deep belly laugh from behind the car. I knew it was him – I knew he'd seen it all – fuckity-fuck!

I lied myself down across the back seat. I flattened myself into them and hoped I would be swallowed by the seats and this whole charade would end. My face was burning up fast and I knew I looked the colour of a beetroot. Why did it always have to happen to me? I lifted my head to peak out the back window and his eyes instantly locked with mine. I ducked back down. I'd completely screwed that meeting up!

What a clumsy babbling idiot. Wave goodbye to a chance with Cheerio Man. He could never, ever be interested in me after that debacle.

"B...Just...what the hell?"

"Alice, I do not want to talk about it... it happened... I was an idiot...my life is officially over...end of... no questions."

"Alright B, lips are sealed."

I knew that wouldn't be the end of it... but I just couldn't re-tell it right now; the mere thought of it made it seem even more horrendous.

"B I need to go to the lingerie store in town. Do you need to go straight home or do you wanna come? You can stay in the car if you want or you can come inside with me? I won't be long!"

"Yeah... whatever Al... I need something to take my mind off this morning... why have you gotta go there? – your lingerie draw could stock the whole of Macys."

It was true- she had so much underwear it'd probably take her a year to wear every item!

"I want some royal blue underwear with gold detailing, and a cop's badge – for my date with Charlie later in the week."

"I'm sorry I asked..."

We pulled into the parking lot and Al threw the car into the space...Someone was keen.

This place looked familiar...

"Hey Al, isn't this the lingerie store that the hot guy from the internet dating site owns?"

"Duh... I wouldn't have gone to Newton's – their underwear is for people aged 65 and over. I would like my body to look good. If the hotties here then that's just a bonus." She winked at me and sauntered off through the door.

Maybe I should get some underwear; all of mine was from Newton's. I definitely wasn't 65!

I pushed the door open – holy fuck – I wanted to bolt back out the door. First thing I saw was a red PVC outfit with attached riding crop....

"Alice..?" I squeaked.

"I'm here... calm down B..." She peered 'round the corner from a closed off section.

"Sorry, couldn't see ya..." I needed moral support in this shop. Everything made me gulp and all the outfits made my eyes bug out of the sockets.

I wandered over to Alice, taking in the scary sights that people classed as underwear. As I approached Alice there was a Firewoman outfit with holes missing where the boobs would go and underneath it said 'Fire Squirters' – oh shit – I turned away quickly and was left facing a female pilot outfit but the panties displayed underneath had 'Cockpit' written across the bum – I... um...WOW!

I briskly approached Alice and found her looking through the lubrication section.

"What flavour's better do you reckon B? – they are Cock-tail lubes!"

She pointed to the shelf and pointed out specific ones. Penis colada, flirtini cock rub, Tequila Cockrise, Sex on the beach, screaming orgasm and cock-sucking-cowboy.

I could feel my mouth drop open... people actually used this... I wanted to smell it... I wondered if it actually smelt like the cocktails they were named after?

"Hey Gape-y – what one?"

I slammed my mouth shut and swallowed hard and whispered "The penis colada or the cowboy one."

"Hey Darlin', those two are my favourites. Good choice."

Alice dropped the bottles of lube she was holding and I whooshed round to where the voice had come from and slammed straight into a display of...

I went crashing down to the floor and landed on top of the giant stand the Dildo's were held in. As I looked down I realised the display was made out of a very graphic cut-out of a penis. As I took in the scene underneath of me some of the dildo's started to go off...

"Oh...Oh...."

"Enjoying the ride darlin'?"

I couldn't believe it- after the morning I'd had, I was now straddled across a giant cut-out penis, could it get any worse?

I looked up to see the shop owner trying to control his laughter, as I continued to lay frozen on top of the cut-out penis.

His southern drawl was lovely, but his face was beyond describing he was beautiful. His face looked slightly familiar... then I realised it was the guy Alice had messaged on the dating site.

I darted my eyes over to Alice and saw her staring at the owner. His name tag said Jasper. I could see her mind ticking; trying to come up with something to say to him.

Before she could speak, he introduced himself.

"Ladies, my name's Jasper." He extended his hand to me to help me up.

I took it willingly as I placed my foot down. As I went to stand up, my foot gave out and I started to fall back. Luckily Jasper still had a hold of my hand or I would have been swimming in vibrating penises and my life would have officially been over.

I realised that I had slipped on an extremely long and thick looking dildo. Alice looked down to what I was staring at and instantly said "Slippery suckers aren't they?"

I just wanted to die right there, I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole. "I am so sorry, I um didn't see the display and I'm sorry...." I looked to Jasper with pleading eyes.

"It's kinda hard to miss B, that dick's bigger than you are!"

_Cheers for that Al. Way to go to making me look better!_

"Hi. I'm Alice" She got right in his personal space. But he didn't back down. Infact, he seemed to welcome her into his space. They seemed instantly comfortable with each other and I felt like I was intruding in a moment that was private to the two of them. I could see in Alices' eyes that she was already infatuated with Jasper.

"Nice to meet you, sweet'eart."

I could see her knees weaken and I knew she wanted him badly. Jasper was in trouble, once Alice had got her teeth into him, he wouldn't know what's hit him. However she didn't just look at him like a quick shag, she looked at him like she wanted to take him and keep him locked up in her room forever.

I continued to meander around the store, taking extra care whilst looking so that I didn't trip or bump into anything else. I found a few items of underwear that didn't have any chains or fabric missing. They were lacy and I could just about cope with that – they didn't scare me shitless. At least I'd picked matching sets.

I had red boy shorts and a blue bra on today – If Alice knew I'd be in serious trouble. But no-one was going to see it. But after today's fiasco's – fainting and my 'joy-ride' – I was definitely on track to being run over or something equally horrifying. So if I was hospitalised in the future at least I'd be wearing matching underwear!

I stole a glance in Alice's and Jasper's direction. They were still in deep conversation and held tightly in Alice's hand was the cock-sucking-cowboy lube. Now if that wasn't a hint to Jasper that she wanted him, then he was blind.

She hadn't got any of the items she originally came here to get though. Not that I think she cares very much right now. She'd moved on to bigger and better things in the form of the southern beauty she was standing next too.

I walked to the checkout and noticed that Jasper and Alice were approaching – they were still chatting away.

"...On Saturday, from 7'oclock onwards. My uncles out of town so I was going to use his house to have a party. He has an indoor pool and Jacuzzi, so if you and some buddies wanted to come, that'd be cool..."

Alice was having a House party? Since when? – Even I hadn't been told about this yet?

"Sounds cool doll. I'll definitely bring my Cousin Emmett and his girlfriend Rosalie, they'd love it. I have another friend– but he may be working. He owns a couple of businesses so his schedule is all over the place. You've got my number so just text me the details. Thanks for the invite darlin'."

Alice turned and winked at me – seriously – what was going on? Someone needed to let me in on what was happening. I was always the last to know...

"Will that be all...?" Jasper's accent really was dreamy. He sounded like a true redneck. Without a doubt Alice was dreaming of riding him cowgirl style. She was always talking about how good that position was and now she'd found her very own cowboy.

"Yeah... that's all thanks!"

As Jasper bagged my items, Alice approved of them with a curt nod.

"That'll be $ 27.50

I really shouldn't be spending this money – but hey!

I grabbed my bag and turned to leave as Alice paid for her lube and said goodbye. I'd give them a moment and wait for her by the car.

She skipped all the way to the car. She looked like a lovesick teenager that had just kissed the hottest boy in the school behind the gym.

She sighed as she settled into the driver's seat and a massive smile erupted over her face. "He's absolutely gorgeous." She was beaming.

"I want to marry him, have his babies and keep him forever!" – It's official Alice Brandon was in luuurveee!

"You've only just met the guy!"

"Yeah, but B, you know with the Cheerio Guy- you just wanted to know more and how you couldn't stop talking about him? And thinking about him? Well, that's how I feel. We swapped numbers and I couldn't resist asking him to come to the party!"

"Hey... I got a bone to pick with you... where exactly is my invite?" I was her best friend and I knew nothing about this.

"Seriously B, you were first on the invite list. But you know you're not doing anything. So you were already a confirmed guest. I practically organise your life so I would know if you were busy or not. It's on Saturday, you'll be there early helping me set up. I'll do your hair and make up and then we'll drink until we can no longer stand up! It's simple really!"

Well I couldn't argue with that, she did run my life! Without Alice as my personal day-planner I think I'd be a complete mess.

"And B, maybe this friend of Jaspers might come and he could be good for you. Jasper said you were just his type, so it might be your lucky night – you could test out your new underwear." She winked at me and my face exploded into the most furious blush.

I hate it when Al plays matchmaker. Blind dates are not my idea of fun. But if it's at a party at least there will be other people there and I can run and hide if he's too hideous!

"Oh wait up Al; weren't you supposed to be going on a date with Charlie on Saturday?"

"Yeah but I got a text from my uncle while we were in the store, saying he was going out of town and the house was free. The minute I laid eyes of Jasper it was just too good of an opportunity to miss. Besides, Charlie's importance became second to none the minute Jasper spoke. Mhmmm his accent makes me just wanna jump him and start shagging him!"

She probably would have taken him on top of the penis cut-out I crashed into if I hadn't have been there.

"Won't Charlie be upset?"

"Doubt it- his wife can keep him entertained this weekend."

A wife, he had a wife? She kept that quiet!!

I narrowed my eyes at her – she knew how I felt about cheating. It destroyed families.

"Don't B, I know what you think of cheating, so yes I kept that from you, but only because I didn't want you to spoil my fun and make me see what was wrong with what I was doing."

"Alice Brandon... You really are... something else!"

"I'm going to take that as a compliment."

I definitely didn't mean it as one. But she's right- I would have lost my temper. I would never forgive my mum for destroying my dad's life by cheating on him. So I would never condone her sleeping with Charlie when he had a family at home. I knew that guy was a sleaze ball. Erghhh...But she only wanted some no strings attached fun and if she told me I would have ruined that so I understood why she kept it quiet!

***~ * ~ * ~ * ~ ***

Spending the rest of the day with Alice was nice. She pampered me and I felt much better. I'd practically munched the whole bottle of Echinacea and drank my weight in OJ.

I was definitely perkier and choosing to block out today's calamities made it much easier to stay cheery.

In between painting my toe nails and cooking me chicken soup. Alice gave me a step by step guide of every word, look and hand signal Jasper made in the store. She then spent the rest of the afternoon mentally learning everything about him off of his internet dating biography.

She'd decided to delete the email she'd previously sent him, as he still hadn't read it. I thought it was a good idea. Al told me I'd had a few hits from a couple of weirdo's so I asked her to set my profile to private. I could still get IM's and emails but I'd have to approve anyone who wanted to see my full profile. I removed my full name and picture. Alice moaned at me for being boring, but in all honesty I didn't rate these dating sites; and if it kept stalkers at bay I was happy to have it made private.

After researching everything you could ever know about Jasper and discovering his last name was Whitlock. Alice defaced every notepad in my house with 'Alice 4 Jasper' or Mrs Alice Whitlock. She also stated that when I was all better we were going out for drinking at a new club Jasper had told her about because they did Cock-a-lada's there. I stared at her blankly – as if I would know what they were.... She then went on to explain they are pina coladas in penis shaped tubes and you drink out of them. She thought it was brilliant I on the other hand would never put a plastic cock shaped tube to my lips and drink from it... seriously? People would see...

It got to 7.30pm and Alice finally left. I don't think I could have taken much more talk about Jasper. _"Didn't you just love how his hair was tucked behind his ear? ... Did you see the small scar on his neck?... I wonder how he got it? ..." _She'd even googled what his name meant and then stumbled across the meaning of his name on the Urban Dictionary – and Jasper meant: "To perform a sex act on a co-worker. If performed in the place of employment, this can be called the Full Jasper." ... she was now on a mission to be employed by him and get 'Jaspered'.

So I was glad for some quiet time. I sat down at my laptop and decided to message Carlisle. Just to check he was feeling alright and let him know that I'd been called in to give a talk on Bronte's work at the local library and I couldn't make lunch anymore.

As I opened my email I noticed I already had one. Carlisle and I had swapped personal email addresses the other night when we decided we really did hate the dating sites.

***~ * ~ * ~ * ~ ***

**From:CarlisleM**

**To:BellaSwan**

**Subject: Work Schedule**

**Date: Sunday14thMarch2007**

Hey Bella,

I hope you got the car ok and you're feeling better. I am going to have to take a rain check on lunch. I've been called into work. I am very sorry. If I could get out of it I would.

We'll reschedule. Promise.

Talk soon

C x

***~ * ~ * ~ * ~ ***

Well that certainly saved me from having to grovel to him.

(Bing)

My IM went off it was a message from FlightOfTheFingers.... _oh god another freak trying to chat me up...._

**FlightOfTheFingers:** You like cheerio's without milk too? I'm just the same – thought I was the only one though.

I thought I was the only one –Alice always said I was weird – well we've just proven her wrong. No harm in replying – I'll check his biography first.

He didn't have a picture or a name either. Hmm that's three things we now have in common. His birthday was coming up soon and as long as he was telling the truth, he was the same age as me.

His occupation stated business owner and composer in spare time. Hmm... Composer I wonder what he could play. After hearing Carlisle's son in Skyline – I was now a glutton for someone who could play the piano. It was just such a beautiful instrument.

He was definitely witty, I liked the sound of him actually, he sounded pretty normal, so I didn't see any harm in replying to him at all.

**msbellaswan1:** (19.40pm):Ha, I thought I was the only one; actually I hate them with milk. I'd definitely say I have a Cheerio addiction.

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (19.41pm): Oh, me too... definitely, I swear it is so unhealthy, but I just can't stop.

**msbellaswan1:** (19.42pm):I know, I replace meals with Cheerio's – it can't get worse than that!

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (19.42pm): Me too. There's a lot of nutritional value in Cheerio's... Like sugar... and more sugar LOL. In my opinion I'd take a bowl of Cheerio's over the poshest meal anyone could offer me.

**msbellaswan1:** (19.43pm):We are so similar, same here. I practically live down the cereal isle in the store.

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (19.44pm):Lol, likewise, do you live in the Washington area?

**msbellaswan1:** (19.44pm):Yaha, Forks.

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (19.45pm):Me too. We could have crossed paths and never known I'm Edward.

**msbellaswan1:** (19.45pm): I'm Bella. How's your day been?

To talk to someone like this so wasn't like me, but after the day I'd had I might as well, have a chat. I'd completely ruined any chance with Cheerio Man. One door closes another opens... Positive thinking Swan...

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (19.46pm): To put it simply...Horrible...Amazing...then average.

**msbellaswan1:** (19.47pm):All three in one day?

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (19.47pm): Morning started off horrible. I felt awful and my dad was being a pain, he had me running errands for him. Then I had an eventful mid morning, but it put me in a good mood. Then this afternoon- I haven't done much so only average. You?

**msbellaswan1:** (19.48pm):Not so good at all. The whole morning until the mid afternoon was an utter disaster... But I chilled out this afternoon with my friend so I feel better after that. Yet she would not stop talking about his new guy she's got on the scene.

**FlightOfTheFingers: **(19.50pm): I've had a few phone calls from my friend; who's been bleating on about his new love interest. He's been driving me mad. I got the description of her every facial expression when she spoke.

**msbellaswan1: **(19.51pm):I can go one stage further I had every look, word and movement.

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (19.51pm): Sounds like our friends would be perfect for each other.

**msbellaswan1:** (19.52pm):Agreed!! – I accepted your profile request. – not that it's that interesting – besides my friend created it so honestly a lot of it apart from my birth date is all fictitious. Hate to disappoint you, but I have, infact, never been on a horse and I definitely do not like the gym.

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (19.53pm): Ha-ha, no-one ever tells the truth in these things anyway. Mine isn't too bad I did write it myself and I do compose music.

**msbellaswan1:** (19.54pm): that is so cool; I am infact an English tutor. What kind of music do you compose?

**FlightOfTheFingers: **(19.56pm): All sorts. I love classical music, but I also have a passion for new types of music and I love my guitar – so I'm currently developing some pieces on that. I sing too – but I'm not as confident in that right now.

**msbellaswan1:** (19.57pm): What are you working on right now?

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (19.57pm): I'm working on two pieces- one is a classical piece on the piano – I don't know what to call it but it's like a lullaby and the other is a guitar piece in which I sing – but as of yet the name is a bit sketchy – it's about love and trust and friendship and discovering each other – so I'm just seeing where it takes me.

**msbellaswan1:** (19.58pm): I would love to hear it some time. Where do you get your inspiration from?

_He plays the piano – I love him already! I wonder how well he plays? Carlisle's son was breathtaking. The way he commanded control of the piano. If I ever get to see this guy play and he's as good as that I'll be at a loss for words!_

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (19.59pm): Lots of places, but at the moment it's mainly people inspiring me, people you just bump into or stumble across on the off chance.

**msbellaswan1:** (20.00pm): Wow. That is amazing, you are basically writing a song and a piece of music about someone and they probably don't even know it's about them!

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (20.01pm): Well, I may tell them one day, I don't know when I'll see them again, but maybe... we'll see....

**msbellaswan1:** (20.02pm): Ohhhh so there is a special someone?

_Damn it! – why – why are all the good ones always taken?! I was really starting to like talking to him. _

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (20.03pm): Not exactly.

**msbellaswan1:** (20.02pm): Not exactly? – explain...

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (20.04pm): I don't think she really knows I exist. It's a bit silly really it's just some girl I've barely spoken to but she's got me completely mesmerised. I actually purposefully go to places in the hope she'll just come walking past.

_He sounds like he's got it bad! How sweet is that, he actually tries to bump into her... well that's my chances gone with this guy... but hey you can never have too many friends... right?_

**msbellaswan1: **(20.05pm): You've got it bad. But don't worry, I know how you feel. There's this guy that's constantly on my mind. But some stuff has happened and I don't think my chances are too good now. But hey ... plenty more fish in the sea.

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (20.07pm): Don't give up- try again, he may still be interested. What did you do?

**msbellaswan1: **(20.08pm): I do not want to go into it – it's more like what didn't I do? I just made myself look like a fool.

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (20.10pm): did he say you were stupid, or make out like he thought you were an idiot?

**msbellaswan1:** (20.11pm): Well – no.

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (20.12pm): I'd say you're still in with a chance then.

**msbellaswan1:** (20.12pm): You reckon?

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (20.13pm): Definitely.

**msbellaswan1:** (20.14pm): Thank you, you've cheered me up! Maybe all hope is not lost!

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (20.15pm): No fun in everything being easy! What are you up to on the weekend?

**msbellaswan1: **(20.16pm): I've got a party to go to. What about you?

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (20.17pm): Same...I'm working till late but then my friend invited me to a party.

**msbellaswan1:** (20.18pm): I'm not really looking forward to it. I'll be roped into helping sort the party out. But I plan on getting really drunk to make up for my crappy start to the week.

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (20.19pm): Good plan! I may have to join you there.

**msbellaswan1:** (20.19pm): Well have an extra drink for me.

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (20.20pm): Have a double for me!

**msbellaswan1:** (20.21pm): Haha, oh I will. I'm gonna need all the drinks in the world. My friend goes all out at these parties and usually there are tons of people and I just never know what to do with myself. So getting absolutely shit-faced makes it easier to deal with. Although drunk Bella usually leads to something horrifically awful going wrong.

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (20.23pm): Drunk Edward is worse – I either end up texting my dad some awful message that wasn't meant for him. Or when I was drunk a few weeks ago I went outside for a cigarette and lit it the wrong way round... I was not happy.

_So he smoked... it didn't overly bother me... but it wasn't my favourite habit in the world..._

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (20.24pm): What's even more annoying is I don't smoke... so I must have been really drunk. It was after a night at Eclipse nightclub. Do you know it?

_Oh good, social smoker, I can handle that..._

**msbellaswan1:** (20.26pm): Oh I went there a few weeks ago; and we got home about 3am and my friend Al started chatting up some old guy on this dating site. It was disgusting! We didn't even know we'd done it 'till she'd checked the chat history!

**FlightOfTheFingers: **(20.27pm): You two sound dangerous together... I think I'd be scared meeting you two.

**msbellaswan1:** (20.28pm): I'm fine it's Al that's the handful... and anything naughty I get up to is always her fault... she takes advantage of my drunken state and I usually end up in some compromised position...

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (20.29pm): That sounds dirty...hahaha

_Oh shit... That did sound dirty – I didn't mean it like me and Al get up to stuff... oh shit... foot in mouth once again Swan..._

**msbellaswan1:** (20.30pm): Shit... it wasn't meant like that I blame the Flu meds I'm taking... leaves me high as a kite - I swear...

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (20.30pm): Yeah...yeah...that's what they all say...

_Now he thinks I'm a hussy, and probably toking on weed in my spare time... oh fuck it... once again smooth Swan... do you know what?... I'm just gonna relocate to Timbuktu... far simpler than having to run there every time I have a foot in mouth day... which is pretty much all the bloody time!_

_Isabella Swan the ultimate douche has once again fucked up another chance with a guy..._

* * *

**A/N Thank you for all your reviews, recs and favs – you can all have some cock-a-ladas too - seriously google them - they look awesome!  
**

**Sorry for the delay – it was my birthday – I spent 3days in a drunken state – I apologise. I went out got in at 4am, had 3 hours sleep – went to work – went out again – came home with fake eye lashes stuck to my eyebrows and bird nest hair. Had drunk people lying in my bath and someone unconscious over the toilet –and blisters on my feet that looked like golf balls ...to say I had fun is an understatement ...so that explains the lateness!**

**Please continue to show your support, you have no idea how happy it makes me. I love reading all your reviews – so please hit that little button....**


	7. G is For Green Light

**A/N S. Meyer owns it all…I own S.S.R and internetward!**

**My Betas – Vron ****(titty bump for you *wink*), ****Jen, Jeanne so much loving to you. Thank you… Thank you...Thank you!**

**Don't you just love it when your Beta abuses their power over your story – haha – yes I'm talking to you Vron ;)**

**All those who; review, alert and fav... Thank you for making me smile and supporting me... this is after all... all for you!**

**

* * *

  
**

**G is for Green light**

I love him. It's simple. I am going to marry him. Have his babies and we are going to live happily ever after…

Well that's if I ever get to see him face to face? I'd been talking to him all week and all I wanted him to say was "Hey, what do you think about meeting up?" or "Fancy meeting for a coffee?" I don't even like coffee but I would have drunk it just to meet him. He was worth it. We talked like old friends; as if we knew each other inside-out but how do you meet up with someone that you don't actually know? To talk online it was easy – you could say anything without any worries about what the repercussions could be. At the end of the day I could delete him and never speak to him again if I wanted to – not that I ever would – I found myself rushing home at the end of the day just to see if he was online – and he always was. As soon as I appeared online he'd pop up and ask how my day had been. It was as if he was waiting for me to appear. I knew I couldn't start thinking things like that. He was a guy online – nothing more.

_Get back in the real world Swan!_

I'd tried to get him to spill more dirt on this mystery woman he was harbouring feelings for – but as of yet – he was remaining tight lipped. He said she was the unobtainable woman; and although he was wasting his time he couldn't stop thinking about her. If only he knew that I couldn't stop thinking about him.

I'd spent the week trying to put a face to this online man; but short of asking him to describe himself I remained clueless. I just kept envisioning this perfect gentleman. I'd dreamt about him, the scary thing is in my dream Edward had the most mesmerising eyes, bottle green with such intensity. I awoke with a start and I knew I recognised those eyes; I just couldn't place where I knew them from.

"Don't make me ask you again Isabella!"

"Hmm?"

"Oh for Christ sake B, pay attention! You said you would help me, and right now you are driving me nuts!"

I may be wrong but I think Alice just stomped her foot after she said that? That was such an Alice thing to do. If you don't pay attention she loses all control and acts like a four year old!

"Actually Al, I distinctly remember you telling me I was helping and that was the discussion – I never actually voiced an opinion on the matter."

"Yeahh…yeah… so shall I get a few more bottles or do you think this will be enough?"

"How many people have you invited?"

"About 80!"

"80 people… I don't even know 80 people!"

"In that case 10 crates of beer and 15 bottles of vodka is plenty considering you told me you'd told them to bring all their own alcohol."

"Well my uncle gave me $500 and told me to have a nice time, so I thought a little bit of alcohol would help lighten the mood and create a good atmosphere."

"Al, the only mood that will create is a shit load of sickness all over your uncle's floor… more to the point, I refuse point blank to be on sick duty – your uncle's house – you clean it."

"Seriously B, whatever's got up your arse – you need to sort it! You are so grouchy today!"

I was miserable; there was no other way to say it. I felt like every man I was meeting was either a mystery to me or hung up on another woman. Where is the fairness in that? I just want one man to give me the 'green light' and tell me they like me too! Was that really too much to ask? – Apparently so!

"Sorry Al, you've just been so excited about Jasper, and I want someone to get excited about and well… it's just not happening."

"Come on B, you're beautiful and it's my party in two days! Maybe that guy will show up and you can get chatting to him. Jaspers adamant you'll like him. The guys apparently said he's definitely coming, he'll just be late."

"I just don't wanna be your friend that ends up being the tag-along when you and Jasper start getting serious!"

Alice instantly looked at me with sympathy in her eyes. That's exactly what I didn't want to happen. I just wanted her to forget me and focus on her and Jasper. But this is Alice I'm talking about; she'd always be there for me – no matter what.

I know Alice would never make me feel unwanted or like an outcast. But the happier Alice got, the more miserable I got. I had a case of the green eyed monster; and I was struggling to keep myself composed. I needed some lovin' but I didn't see a queue of men waiting to fill the position which was depressing me even more!

"You really think me and him will get serious?"

"Well from what you've said Al, he seems pretty keen and I can tell you are!"

"Am I that obvious?"

"You might as well go around with a sign plastered to your head Al, you've got it bad!"

_A big sign with flashing lights "My names Alice and I've got it BAD for my new piece of ass!"_

"Help me load this stuff onto the checkout B… I'm about to do my back in!"

_Shouldn't have bought so much then should you_… _ohhh I was being a moody cow…_

I decided to ignore the niggling voice in the back of my head that kept trying to tell me I was never gonna have a boyfriend again… I fixed a fake smile on my face and grabbed a bottle of vodka – I was tempted to just neck it back right there – maybe drowning my sorrows would cheer me up. Seriously, where were these thoughts coming from?! – I was a raving alcoholic now contemplating downing a bottle of vodka in the middle of the store – it's official – I've lost my marbles.

Alice cleared her throat and I focused on her face and saw her watching me intently.

"What?" I questioned.

Al just pointed straight to my waist.

I was hugging the bottle of vodka.

"You know B, you have to put it down and pay for it before you can take it home. It's ok… don't panic... you can have it back as soon as I've paid for it!"

She seriously thought she was hilarious. Although – deep down – I knew I didn't really want to part with my bottle of vodka – letting go of it was almost painful. I was all over the place today. I just wanted to get home and talk to Edward. I know he'd make me feel better.

It was like he was my own personal drug. I just about managed to function throughout the day because the thought of seeing him pop-up and speak to me until I went to bed was the happiest part of my day. Three times this week I'd actually skipped having a proper dinner and sat with a bowl of cheerio's in my lap whilst typing. Maybe I was addicted to him and our IM conversations? I don't think they do support groups for that? I was beyond helping…

Thank God I was still stuck in 1901 technology wise; if I had a mobile that could get on the internet I think I'd permanently be stalking his profile. I think I had it memorised. Alice had this flashy piece of equipment that couldn't physically come under the name of mobile it had to be 'a mobile tele-communication system' it warranted a posh name – she said it was a Blackbusy? Or a Blackbuddy? Erghhh I don't know! Either way, it was like a telephone, a computer and a whole life in an object that fitted into my back pocket. I was scared of it – I'd never understand something that complicated. I'd just got the hang of predictive text – well that was a slight lie, I never managed to fully communicate clearly but Alice understood what I meant. I'd try to say **See you in 5 min**s – but it'd come out **Pee you go 5 mins. **I was a technology virgin, my laptop was lucky to still be alive.

We loaded everything into Alice's car. She was spoilt rotten and owned three cars. Who on earth needed three cars? Apparently Alice did. Today she was driving her truck. This was my favourite. It was a beautiful red Chevy. It was slower than a grandma on speed and was louder than a virgin on her wedding night but it was my favourite.

I hopped into the passenger seat and Alice started the engine – which resembled an aeroplane about to take off. She put on a new CD she had made and a tune I'd never heard before came on. Alice music was often quirky and weird but today it's just what I needed to hear.

We came to a stop at the traffic lights and the chorus came on. Alice started to belt out the lyrics.

"So if you want to …You got the green light… So if you want to… You got the green light …So if you want to… You got the green light …So if you want to… You got the green light …Give it to mama."

What the fuck was she listening to?

I tried to shout at her over the top of the music – but she was as deaf as a post!

She'd clearly put it on repeat because it started up again… You know… it wasn't that bad… quite catchy really, I found myself singing certain words in the song. If anything I needed someone to put a green light into my life… I felt like it had stopped… I was stalling at the red light… and I needed a kick start to get me back into dating and life in general… it was quite fitting to my situation…

The song was good…It was certainly cheering me up. We had the windows wound down and it was a beautiful day out. The sun was shinning and the wind was blowing a slight breeze but not enough to make you cold. Alice turned the music up and I rested against the window ledge and started to sing out loudly…

"So if you want to …You got the green light… So if you want to… You got the green light …So if you want to… You got the green light …So if you want to… You got the green light ….Give it to mama."

I looked out to the next lane, it was a really expensive car – being a typical girl I couldn't tell you what kind of car it was but it was pretty and shiny and black and the sun reflected off of it in just such a way – I could see my reflection beaming back at me… I looked to the driver's window and it was open and a …guy…was…staring…straight…at…me….FUCK!

It was him…Cheerio Guy…SHIT!

He waved! He actually just waved – what do I do?! Do I wave back? I could feel my face starting to flame. I was so embarrassed – he saw me singing – out loud!

I meekly bought my hand up and wiggled my fingers. He smirked and mouthed hello.

I mouthed back hi.

I turned down the music and he shouted over "How's your head?"

"Fine thank you, how's your head?" I still had a dull headache, and a slight bump!

"The doctor said it didn't look good… I've got permanent damage…" Was he being serious when he said that? Had I actually hurt him?

"That's not funny… don't joke like that…"

"Sorry, I'm fine honestly."

"Good!" ... _Thank God I would have never forgiven myself for hurting him!_

He was just so handsome… I could feel myself slowly stretching myself out of the window; my body was just drawn to him like a fish to water.

The light went green – that meant he'd be leaving… Damn traffic lights!! – Why did the bloody green light have to mean go?

"I'll um see you …um soon… I hope?" he called as he slowly pulled away.

"I hope so…" I was at a loss for words, he just seemed to be there and then gone. I never had long enough in his presence.

He turned to look back at me, his eyes instantly locked with mine. He looked broken – heart broken almost as if he would never see me again and this was goodbye. I had to see him again, every time I saw him he made me happy, i couldn't just let that go, he was my drug and I was addicted.

"B, get back inside the car, before you get me arrested!" shouted Alice.

"Sorry Al, did you see him? He was right there…"

"I saw him… do you know what you really need to do?"

"What?"

"Ask him for his number, you idiot! He clearly likes you B!"

"You think? You really think he does? You're not just saying it?"

"B, why would a guy hang out of his window to talk to you and have this stupid smile plastered on his face if he didn't like you?"

"Well he might just be being polite…?"

"Isabella, seriously wake up and see what's going on around you. He likes you!"

He actually liked me… me… Isabella Swan…he liked _me_!

*** * * * * * * * **

Ever since I'd seen him at the traffic lights I couldn't get him off of my mind…"See you soon" he said…did that mean he wanted to see me? Why couldn't I just be a normal girl and understand what guys mean? Why couldn't I distinguish between something they want me to take literally and something they class as a joke or just say for the sake of it?

I didn't get back home until late- Alice had me stringing up fairy lights at her uncle's house. I wanted to talk to Edward online but I was just too tired. I was struggling to keep my eyes open and it was only 8pm.

I would miss our chat tonight but I just couldn't stay awake a minute longer. I climbed into bed and, before long, darkness over took.

*** * * * * * * *  
**

_Unnghhh… his hands trailing up my thigh…. His lips nipping my neck….his chest pressed against mine, our naked bodies entwined…moisture pooling between my legs in apprehension for him… his breathing erratic… his eyes staring deeply into mine._

_His tongue sweeping up from my throat to my lips… his mouth meeting mine… his kisses igniting the fire in my stomach… sucking his bottom lip as he whimpers… ungghhhh…"Bella…I'm…"…ungghhhh…"Yes baby… yes…Edward...ohhh."_

What the hell?

It was dark; I turned to look at my bedside clock and it read 11:05pm. I'd been dreaming about Edward... but Edward looked like… like… Cheerio Guy…

It suited Edward perfectly- the way Cheerio Guy looked was a perfect fit for Edwards's personality he created online… If only…I needed to somehow mix these two people up and then he'd be my ideal man.

I suddenly felt wide awake and very, very… Horny! Damn! Where's a man when I needed one?

I tried rolling over and shutting my eyes, but I instantly got a replay of my dream… well… that's me getting no sleep tonight!

I turned my laptop on… I wonder if Edwards still online…?

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (23.10pm): And what time do you call this then young lady…?

**msbellaswan1: **(23.12pm): Well I am ever so sorry, but I was asleep!

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (23.10pm): Well I suppose that's an acceptable excuse. Just don't do it again.

**msbellaswan1: **(23.12pm): Or what?

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (23.10pm): Well I may just have to punish you!

_Is it me and my very frustrated horny mind or is what he just said full of innuendo?  
_

**msbellaswan1: **(23.12pm): Well, I may just have to be late coming online… just to see what you'll do to me!

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (23.10pm): Someone's feisty tonight…I like it!

**msbellaswan1: **(23.12pm): Do you now?

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (23.13pm): I really like it. What's brought this mood on?

**msbellaswan1: **(23.15pm): I just saw someone today that cheered me up, and my little nap was let's just say… very ummm… stimulating.

_Stimulating… arousing…erotic…hot…unnfff….  
_

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (23.16pm): Stimulating… sounds… promising? How so?

**msbellaswan1: **(23.12pm): Well it just bought a smile to my face and we'll say no more…

_I'd definitely had a personality transplant tonight- I was never this forward! But I was feeling playful… there was one person in particular I'd like to be playing with right now….My mind was in the gutter tonight… oh…dear…  
_

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (23.18pm): You can't say something like that and just leave it there… I want details…come on, don't leave me hanging…

_I wonder how's he hanging? ... To the left? ... Seriously, tonight I had a one track mind… all hope was lost…  
_

**msbellaswan1: **(23.20pm): Well…it involved me and a guy…

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (23.21pm): Yeah… and…

**msbellaswan1: **(23.22pm): There may have been some… touching…

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (23.24pm): Mmmm touching…

**msbellaswan1: **(23.25pm): Yes touching…

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (23.26pm): More, I need more details…

**msbellaswan1: **(23.30pm): This is totally embarrassing…

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (23.31pm): Your fault, you shouldn't have said stuff that interested me…

**msbellaswan1: **(23.32pm): I've decided you're a dirty perv…

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (23.33pm): Excuse me? Who exactly is the one having 'stimulating dreams'?

_Ok , so I was the perv…_ _Shoot me… it'd been a LONG time since I'd got any… I was savouring every moment of that dream!  
_

**msbellaswan1: **(23.35pm): Erm… cough… me…cough :)

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (23.37pm): Exactly- so don't be preaching to me… Mrs. Filthy Mind!

**msbellaswan1: **(23.39pm): Ok … Ok… sorry, but my lips are tightly sealed about this dream I'm afraid… – so how's your day been?

I couldn't very well admit that I was basically having a dream about him... he'd run for the hills screaming, thinking I was some weirdo…

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (23.40pm): Ahhh, you shoulda given up the goods… I wanted you to dish the dirt… it's not like you were dreaming about me… and my day… actually good… I saw _her_!

_Shit… do I just bypass what he just said? … If I just talked about __**her**__ … then he'll forget everything else… but seriously…we were back onto __**her**__…we get on brilliantly and then… __**Her**__… I hated her… 'Miss I'm so bloody beautiful and apparently really mesmerising so Edward can't even consider any other girl' … __**she**_ _always had to come along and ruin the conversation…  
_

**msbellaswan1: **(23.41pm): Oh, how'd that work out for you?

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (23.42pm): Well I didn't see her for long, it was in passing but I got to speak to her and it just made my day. I can't get her out of my mind.

_I know how you feel… bloody cheerio man plaguing my every thought.__  
_

**msbellaswan1: **(23.43pm): You should really just ask her out.

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (23.45pm): I want to but, as soon as the opportunity arises something happens to stop it… I'm starting to think it's not meant to be!

**msbellaswan1: **(23.47pm): Life's what you make it; don't let anything stop you from being happy.

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (23.48pm): You know you give good advice; maybe you should listen to yourself.

_He speaks sense… I should listen to my own advice… but let's be serious… I'm a clumsy babbling idiot, any attempts at wooing him and telling him my true feelings would end up with me in hospital or something equally disastrous!  
_

**msbellaswan1: **(23.50pm): I know, I know… I just can't get the guts up to tell him how I feel, I think I'm just going to look stupid. I know it's pathetic but I'm just hoping he'll just say 'I like you' and then he's done the hard work… selfish, I know.

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (23.52pm): Not selfish… you're just a helpless romantic.

**msbellaswan1: **(23.54pm): I read too much- that's my problem… I'm expecting this deep, meaningful love, that at first is difficult and complicated and they try to profess their feelings… but then…they finally speak and fall desperately in love.

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (23.56pm): Yep. Definitely a geek…

**msbellaswan1: **(23.58pm): Hey! I can't help it… I'm a sucker for romance.

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (00.00am): Nothing wrong with that… and you should hold out for your prince charming, just like I'm holding out for my princess…

*** * * * * * * ***

**msbellaswan1: **(03.30am): You've never made Chocolate Cheerio cakes where you melt chocolate and mix Cheerio's in, clump them together and let them set? Please tell me you are joking… you are seriously missing out…

Was it really 3.30am? Had I really been talking to Edward for nearly 5 hours? It feels like I've been online 5minutes. I reached across for the magazine that Alice had left here yesterday whilst I was waiting for Edward to reply.

The main feature read:

**Fork's richest Father- Son Duo Set To Win Awards for Charity Work**.

_I hadn't heard of any Father-Son duo that was famous in Forks… It had a population of like …10… I practically knew everyone? I was intrigued now…_

Father-Son duo are set to receive recognition for their charitable work after raising $1million dollars for the Alex's Lemonade fund to help combat childhood cancer.

Carlisle Cullen (pictured left) has been a doctor for over fifteen years and has opened a string of research facilities and practices across the state to help get aid to those within America that need it. When asked what he thought of receiving the award, Carlisle simply stated "I am delighted that we have been able to reach $1million, but it's all for the children. If what I do can save a child's life then that's one less crushed family and one more chance at happiness. Every child is a gift from God; I cannot tell you how much happiness I get from what I do."

Edward Cullen (pictured on the next page) was unavailable for questioning but in a previous interview stated "If I could only save one child's life, then that's one more angel who's remained on earth. I raise money and fight for this cause because if I had a child diagnosed with cancer I would want to know that someone out there was doing what they could to help combat this horrible disease. I know with more research and more money that one day we could save thousands of lives. Each year children die unnecessarily because the funding isn't available to discover new treatments; if I can help further research, I am helping save a life and that's what makes it all worth while!"

The Father-Son duo have an estimated combined wealth of $438million; Edward is a business man who owns a string of houses as well as businesses. He is most famous for his restaurant Skyline that attracts a wide range of clients. From your average customer to the likes of Rachel Macadam's as well as Gerard Butler and suspected beau Jennifer Aniston.

Edward has no confirmed girlfriend and seems to be the eternal bachelor whilst his father since the death of his late wife also remains single…

Hold on… **Just hold the fuck on**…

Carlisle Cullen… as in Carlisle…That I know?

Carlisle that I kissed?

WHAT THE FUCK…

Carlisle and his son are worth $438million, I knew they had money but…SHIT!

And I got drunk and…I went on a date with Carlisle and…crawled up my garden path with…and…SHIT!

I am actually speechless, he never said anything about charity work and just…SHIT!

Carlisle looked good in his photo… oh and there was a photo of Edward on the next page… Well at least I'd finally get to see his face… Rather than the back of him as he plays piano or drops off my car! Edward Cullen the multi millionaire drove my car… he must have thought what a heap of junk…

Oh…Fuck…Shit…What?

Edwards picture

He is….

He looks like…

Shit!

Cheerio Man…is…

I needed glasses… I was going blind… there's no other reason for it… it just… can't be…

Edward Cullen… Cheerio Man… who I have loved since the moment we met in the cheerio isle…was Carlisle's son… and… multi millionaire…Edward...Carlisle… Cheerio Man… and I had landed face first in his crutch… FUCK!

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (03.45am): Bella, are you still there?

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (03.46am): Bella?

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (03.47am): Hello? ...

*** * * * * * * ***

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**A/N I'm sorry I took forever to write this... Firstly I went to Mallorca and partied for 4 days straight and didn't sleep once… and spent all of it drunk… I have horrendous face** **book photos to prove it… I attempted acrobatics whilst on a bus… Drinking's bad for you… do not do it! Haha *wink wink* - she says as she finishes this chapter after a bucket sized glass of amaretto and coke!**

**Then…Real life just majorly sucked for a while…A lot of stuff happened and I just lost my mojo and just wasn't in the right frame of mind to write… but I'm back… with a vengeance…**

**Click that little button and tell me what you think… it's really starting to develop now… and connections are starting to be made…**

**Next chapter H is for House party ;)**

**Dems xoxo**


	8. H is for House Party

**A/N Stephanie Meyer owns it all. SSR is mine!**

**Vron, Jen and Jeanne big kisses to you beautiful ladies.**

**BellaFanatic – DJ extraordinaire – thank you for the song!**

**House Party time – Poor Bella is all I have to say…I've said it before and I'll say it again – Alcohol is bad for you… don't drink ;)**

* * *

**H is for House Party**

"Welcome to Alice's house party... can I take your coat? Please help yourself to a drink!"

"For the last time Sam, you do not need to keep saying that to me, that's for the actual guests." I moaned.

"Sorry Bella, I'm just nervous that I'll mess up and Alice will get angry. I'm just so glad to be here!"

"Sam, she's your cousin and she's paid you to stand at the door in a stupid suit to say "hi" to guests. Don't worry. If I were you, I'd stand here for the first 45minutes then sneak one of her bottles of vodka and just go have fun."

"What if Alice found out?" Sam whispered.

"You leave Alice to me; she'll be drunk before you know it…"

"If you say so Bella..." Sam tried to sound convincing but I knew he was petrified of Alice. In fairness, he had good reason to be; she could be pretty scary when she wanted to be.

"Sam, I'm gonna go use Alice's laptop. If she comes looking for me – say I've gone home for a bit. There's just some stuff I need to do. OK?"

"Yeah, sure. Bella, you've got my back tonight... so I've got yours!" I knew Sam was a smart kid… right… I need to find me a computer…

I needed to go online and apologize to Edward. God even saying the name gave me goose bumps. I was going to have to come up with a way to distinguish between the Edward I speak to online and the Multi-millionaire I bump into in the supermarket. Well that woman in the car park called him Edward Anthony so I'll name him that.

It was really rude of me to just sign off the other night without giving him any reason or answers, so I needed to let him know I was ok.

**msbellaswan1: **(17.35pm): I owe you an apology. Sorry for the other night. I just found out some information about the guy I like and was just shocked. But I'm fine! Hope you are ok!

_His status said away, so I assumed he wouldn't reply but I just wanted to let him know that everything was fine and he didn't need to worry about me._

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (17.35pm): I'm glad you are ok. I was really worried about you. I had no way of getting in contact with you. I knew emailing you was pointless. I almost sent out a search party; but thought sending my special agents out to find you would scare you!

**msbellaswan1: **(17.37pm): Oh you're there! Your status said away.

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (17.38pm: I'm in a business meeting, but I'd rather talk to you so I'm pretending to pay attention to what this bumbling idiot is saying.

_Nothing wrong with bumbling – I was the queen of bumbling._

**msbellaswan1: **(17.39pm): You should be paying attention... your boss may moan at you.

_I didn't want to get him in trouble!_

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (17.40pm): I am the boss – so unless I tell myself off – I'm all good.

**msbellaswan1: **(17.41pm): Touché. So Mr Boss man, if you really are in charge, how come you're working on a Saturday – how does that work?

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (17.42pm): Because I am so important I simply had to be here ;)

**msbellaswan1: **(17.42pm): But on a Saturday? I feel sorry for you!

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (17.43pm): Well, what are you doing that's so good?

**msbellaswan1: **(17.44pm): I'm hiding in my friend's uncle's house, avoiding the setting up of the party.

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (17.45pm): Oh yeah, tonight's the big party! I have one to go to tonight! I don't know if I'm really in the mood but my best friends going and he's dragging me kicking and screaming.

**msbellaswan1: **(17.47pm): Trust me, if I had anyway of escaping, I would be!

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (17.47pm): I'll come and save you!

**msbellaswan1: **(17.48pm): Please do.

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (17.49pm): Oh, you never said what the news was about your guy. Is it good? Do we have development?

**msbellaswan1: **(17.50pm): I learnt his full name; about his businesses and that he is, in fact, single amongst other stuff.

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (17.50pm): So what's so shocking about that?

**msbellaswan1: **(17.51pm): Well, he's very, um, wealthy and I'm just not… I feel like we're worlds apart now! He rubs elbows with famous people. Why would he be interested in little old me?

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (17.52pm): Well, from how you've described his reactions to you, I'd say he likes you.

**msbellaswan1: **(17.52pm): My friend thinks he likes me too.

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (17.53pm): Well if you see him, say hi and just speak to him like he's normal. If you treat him differently, he definitely won't like that.

**msbellaswan1: **(17.53pm): Ok. I'll listen to you. But if I talk to my guy, you've got to talk to your girl!

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (17.54pm): If I am lucky enough to see her I promise I will. You are a stage ahead of me. At least you know your guy's name. I know nothing about my girl. All I know is she's the most beautiful and mesmerizing thing I've ever seen.

**msbellaswan1: **(17.54pm): Well she's one lucky lady; you must tell her how you feel.

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (17.55pm): I will…One day.

**msbellaswan1: **(17.55pm): Right- I better go. Have a lovely time tonight. Try and enjoy yourself.

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (17.56pm): Same back at you. Don't get too drunk!

**msbellaswan1: **(23.58pm): Oh no… me and my bottle of vodka have a date. All my friends are hooked up; I'm the third wheel tonight so I've got my vodka to keep me company.

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (17.57pm): Haha sounds like a plan to me. Oh Bells, by the way, what's the name of the guy? I might know him… perhaps I could help set you up?

**msbellaswan1: **(17.59pm): You can stay out of this Mr.- I will do it in my own time. I'm going to need to work on my courage a bit longer before I can tackle him. His name's Edward Cullen. Ring any bells?

**18.00pm Conversation terminated FlightOfTheFingers is offline.**

Fine, just sign offline on me then – didn't want to talk to you anyway! I found myself sticking my tongue out at the screen…I rolled my eyes… _He can't see you Bella!  
_

"Isabella Swan, Calling Isabella Swan."

Please do not tell me that's Alice with a megaphone. I could just about cope with her when she spoke at a normal level.

"I said calling Isabella Swan!"

.screwed.

I needed saving- why didn't I let Edward rescue me when he offered?!

"Belllllllllllllaaaaaaaaa."

"Alice, I'm in here! Just shut the hell up…"

Alice walked right up to me and stood in front of me, with the mega phone still in front of her face.

"Sorry Bells but we have plans and you are not helping." She boomed in my face.

"I am serious Alice, if you want your face to look like a megaphone, carry on talking to me through it."

"OK." Her voice echoed 'round the room.

I was slowly losing my patience; she had about 10seconds to put it down before I lost my shit.

"Alright stress pants, will you just check everything downstairs is all sorted?... then you can go get ready. I laid a dress out for you in the spare room." She finally spoke to me without that bloody megaphone.

"Sure!"

"And Bells..." Alice added.

"What Al?" I was seriously in a bad mood but I didn't really know why. Sure I was pissed about Cheerio Man being Carlisle's son and also the small matter of him being stinking filthy rich, but I just felt off… something was off… I felt like I was missing some information… I just didn't know what…

"Cheer up, pour yourself a drink!"

Vodka… the answer to everything… First thing I was going to do was get myself a stiff drink and maybe that would sort my mood out. If not, I would keep drinking until the world was spinning before me and everything seemed a million times better.

I nodded in Alice's direction and attempted to smile meekly at her as I exited the room. I didn't mean to be such a bitch but I just wasn't in the mood for Alice's happy go lucky mood. She had a new guy, she was happy… everything I wasn't.

I walked downstairs to the main entrance. I quickly looked 'round; that counted as checking everything was sorted – Alice had planned it, organized it, decorated it – without a doubt everything was fine. I grabbed a vodka bottle from the top. I did consider grabbing something to mix the Vodka with but decided against it. I cuddled the vodka bottle as I made my way up to the spare bedroom to put on my outfit. I decided to not even contemplate what Alice wanted to dress me in. I'd just wear it and accept it. Besides, if I got really drunk I'd probably only end up taking it off thinking it was the most hilarious thing to do. I could just tell that tonight was going to be one of those nights. You think you are having a really good time and then you wake up in the morning and go 'oh fuck, I shouldn't have done that.'

* * *

Alice and I had been drinking for the past hour; whilst we waited for the other guests to arrive. I was fine; I could see 27 bottles of vodka and about 30 crates of beer; I think that's how much Alice had bought anyway? Maybe I was seeing double?

Alice, on the other hand, was currently crawling along the floor pretending to be a lion. Don't ask me why, I gave up trying to understand what she was doing about 30minutes ago. She was wasted and nobody had even arrived yet.

(Ding Dong)

"Ohhhh party guests... YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY." It's hard to believe, but that was actually Alice's normal voice. She didn't even have the megaphone this time!

"B...it's Jasper and his cousin Emmett... ohh and by the looks of it Rosalie. Well, she looks exactly like the woman Jasper described as Rosalie. Movie star looks, long legs and holy shit...boobs the size of footballs!"

"Al, keep your voice down, they can probably hear you through the window."

I walked into the front room to find Alice crouched under the bay window peering over the window ledge getting a look at them all. Yep – Rosalie would have heard every word – let's just hope she liked her giant knockers otherwise Alice had basically insulted her before she'd even met her.

"Welcome to Alice's house party... can I take your coat? Please help yourself to a drink!"

_Ohhh maybe you could use Rosalie's boob's to hang the coats on... – They were big enough to use as pretty much anything… a shelf… a pillow…  
_

"Sam, shut up! I'm right here, you don't need to say it if I'm here." Alice practically screamed at him.

"Oh, sorry, Alice, I... Um... Sorry." Sam stuttered.

Poor guy. Alice needed to cut him some slack!

I winked at him, which instantly made him smile. Well, at least I managed to cheer him up.

"Drinking Game time... come on...."

Alice the almighty party hostess was actually wasted so she hadn't even introduced everyone; so we quietly nodded and swapped names and followed Alice into the kitchen.

I don't know what time people started arriving but we started playing ring of fire and all of sudden I seemed to be surrounded by people. When had that happened?

I had got all the unlucky cards in the game. You name it, I had to drink it. I'd attempted to drink a whole glass of neat vodka but I nearly gagged; so I was forced to add some cranberry juice into it.

We were now onto 'I have never'.

"I have never been felt up by a woman." Rosalie blurted out.

I started to splutter into my drink… ok… that's the direction this game was going in…

Alice and the boys gulped down their drinks…. The boys I understood but Al? What the hell? I raised my eyebrow at her and she just mouthed 'I'll tell you later' and winked? Huh? She was a weird one…

"I have never had sex outside!" Emmett bashfully admitted.

Only Alice and Jasper took a sip of their drinks. Those two were so perfectly suited it was almost scary. Ohhh... it was my turn. Ermmm- well my word filter had been lost about seven drinks back, in all honesty, so had everyone else's so the confessions were getting more and more dirty.

"I have never had sex in water." I thought I'd start off with something not too horrendous.

Everyone but me took a sip. "Wh..a..t? I'm the only one... damnnn!"

"It's alright babe, you can do it tonight – my uncle does have a pool after all!" Alice chided in.

_Oh yeahh, let's all just hop into the pool and start having sex... don't worry about all the party guests they can just have a free ticket to watch the show…. More importantly, I would actually need a guy to be able to have sex in the pool. Yet again, I was loser in love Bella; I was dateless and thus sexless.  
_

"Yeahhhh...I may be drunk... but I'm not _that_ drunk Al!" pfffft, was she having a laugh – there was a reason I'd never done it before.

Now it was Alice's turn – I knew she'd have to really rack her brains to think of something she hadn't done!

"I have never..... I've never.... I haven't ever.... um...."

Everyone burst into laughter – she was insatiable she really was...

"Hey guys, shut up... gimme a minute... I will think of something....I have never..."

"Seriously Alice, we do not have all day..." Jasper cocked his eyebrow at Alice almost mocking her.

"Fine... I have never had sex with a southerner before!"

Well damn... Alice hadn't shagged Jasper yet... she must like him if she's managed to wait a whole week...she must be nervous.

"Well damnnn baby, I can sort that out for you..." With that Jasper lent across the table and kissed Alice deeply, it should have been totally humiliating to watch, but actually it was really... endearing.

Everyone accept Alice took a sip of their drinks. "Well what do ya know... I'm not that bad if you all have and I haven't!" Alice was proud of herself.

Ohhh I'd heard this song on the radio the other day; but Alice had a remix version. I felt this burning desire to get up and dance. I looked over to Alice and saw her wink at me... Oh, she was definitely thinking what I was thinking.

We both rose from our seats and came together.

"B, let's gettt ona the tableee!" Alice slurred. _She was fucked!  
_

We both went back to our seats and made to stand on them. Alice tripped slightly but her southern gentleman was on hand to steady her. We both took a step onto the table and made for the centre of it.

The chorus was about to kick in. I couldn't resist it when a good dance song came on. My booty just wanted to shake…

"_Ain't got a care in world, but got plenty of beer __  
__Ain't got no money in my pocket, but I'm already here __  
__Now, the dudes are lining up cause they hear we got swagger __  
__But we kick 'em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger"_

Alice and I belted out the song whilst grinding on top of the table. The room was filled with people as I twirled 'round. We were being jeered and whistled at as we continued to shake. Alice put her back to me and shimmied down my front, as she rose up I turned my back and did the same to her. Oh, we were working it all right. If there's one thing we knew how to do, it was to get attention whilst dancing. We swirled our hips to the beat. I was actually having a good time; I turned to see Alice gazing at Jasper.

Jasper seemed enraptured by Alice as she danced and he mouthed at her…

"Ohh baby, the things you do to me." Alice face instantly burst into the biggest smile I'd ever seen. He really liked her I could see that. It made me feel……

SICK!

Erghhh, loved up idiots. Everyone had someone and then there was Isabella Swan… with…absolutely no one.

My face instantly faltered… I needed another drink the numbing effects were starting to wear off. I bent my knees to try and pick up my drink but as I lent down my vision blurred and I started to roll off the table.

Luckily something halted me in my tracks. Someone had conveniently grabbed a pillow for me to roll into. I put my hands out instinctually to cushion the blow to my body and found myself fingering a very suspicious feeling pillow. It felt like an inflated air bed full of water. I opened my eyes and found myself face first in Rosalie's cleavage. Even more horrifying was the fact I was massaging her boobs as my brain tried to work out what it was I was touching. Oh fuck!

"Rose, I…Um…Sorrry...I…I…" I couldn't get the words out that I wanted to say. I was humiliated. My hand eye co-ordination and reactions were a million times slower than usual and as I apologized my hands were still grasping her tits. Shit … I wish my brain would get in gear. I sent a mental note to my fingers 'Release Rosalie's boobs from grasp.'

When my hands had finally released Rosalie's rack I clambered off the table and got back into my chair.

"Chill it Bells, no worries… I officially can raise my glass and drink now…" Rosalie proudly said.

We all looked at her with a funny expression. I knew we were drunk but, seriously, what on earth was she going on about?

"I have now been felt up by a woman." Rose turned to wink at me and sexily said… "Meet you up stairs in ten Babycakes."

I nearly fell off my chair laughing as Emmett snorted and started to choke. Erghhh he actually had beer coming out of his nose he was laughing so hard…

"Oh sorry, baby... here…" Rose handed Emmett a tissue to wipe his face. That had to be the most disgusting thing I had ever seen… beer actually coming out of someone's nose.

"Jasper's turn, Jasper's turn." Alice practically bounced out of her seat as she said this.

"I have never had sex in a tree house." Jasper smirked at this one, as if he wasn't quite telling the full story.

"There's more to that story- your smirk's giving you away!" I was positive of it.

"Bells, you are getting no information out of me – so don't even bother asking!"

Emmett and Rosalie both took a big gulp of their drinks and looked into each other's eyes. The drunker I got the more painful it got to witness. Now that everyone was starting to feel the alcohol coursing though them, they were getting more loving to their partners and it was becoming glaringly obvious I was the fifth wheel at the table.

I did not want to be the tag along... and so with that I...

"I'm going to go and get some fresh air. You guys carry on without me."

I grabbed my vodka bottle that now had just under half left. My head was going to be pounding tomorrow.

I slowly stood and my knees slightly buckled under my weight... yep... that vodka was hitting the spot nicely...

"You are my only friend, you know that don't you...?" I whispered to my vodka bottle. I hiccuped slightly as I rubbed the bottle.

"You are the only one I can rely onnnn. When everyone else is too busy with their other halvvvesss you are there, waiting for meeee.

"I love you, I really like a hundred million percennntt truly do..." It bought a tear to my eye. I gripped the bottle tightly in one hand as I made to wipe my eyes.

"You know, I think I love someone else. His name's Edward; well actually I think I love two people." I started to cry harder, why oh why was life so confusing?!

"One of them is basicallllly famoussss and has enough money to probably buy a country...you know if I bought a country I'd buy England- it looks really little on the mappp, like it could fit in your pockettt...aannndd... He is breathtakingly bea-u-tiful and when he touches me... oh... it sends lightening bolts straight to my heart. It's like there is no-one elssse in the world but me and him. And the other one…well I haven'tttt even met himin person but he's lovelllly., I look forward to talkinnng to him everyday... but he loves someone else... life's just not fair ... do youuu know what I meannnn?"

Vodka didn't reply, he just lied in my hand... but he was still there and that's all that mattered.

"What should I do? What can I do?" I sobbed.

I staggered my way towards the pool area. As I approached the indoor pool I noticed there were some guys who had stacked up the sun loungers and were now using them as a diving board into the pool. That looked.... cool!

"Wooahh, did you see that?" I glared down at my vodka bottle... I turned the bottle so the label was facing the diving action... "That's better- you can see now." I thought that the label side resembled the front, so that equated as it having eyes... mehh... it made sense in my head...he was like my Wilson. Tom Hanks had Wilson in that film... well I had my Vodka bottle... I should name him...Vernon...

One back flipped into the water and I was instantly mesmerized. Clinging tightly to my vodka bottle I walked in and made for the free sun lounger at the furthest end of the pool. I decided that if I straddled it I could rest comfortably and place my vodka bottle between my legs and keep it safe. If I could see it that meant nobody could take it. It was starting to feel like my baby. It was precious to me and if I lost... ughh... it didn't even bear thinking about... Vernon was my only friend tonight... That friend of Jasper's had been a no show – no doubt he walked in, took one look at me, and walked straight back out again.

I unscrewed Vernon.... Haha I screwed Vernon... I better make the most of it... it's the only screwing I'll be doing tonight... and for the foreseeable future...I took a swig and went to place myself on the lounger as I put my weight fully on the end of the lounger it tipped.....

Water...wet... water...cold...water...wet... I was like the scuba divers that positioned themselves on the side of the boat and fell into the sea upside down.

I had scuba dived into the swimming pool, right now I was the coolest dude in this damn place!

Fuck, where's Vernon? ...and Fuck was my dress getting heavy... I tried to swim to the surface to get some more air but it was dragging me down. I was frantically searching around for my vodka bottle as I saw it slowly fading into the depths....

"Noooooooo...Verrnn." As I screamed out 'no' my mouth became full of water. I tried to once again reach the surface but I had no strength left in my arms. I fought against it but it was dragging me back... I couldn't breathe. I was gulping down water... I fought against it. I could feel my chest start to tighten and my heart race quicken. I was panicking. I continued to flail. I was done for. No-one even knew I was in the pool; they were too busy having fun. This was it... This was the end...

I'd lived 25 years of relative happiness, without finding my one true love and this was it, 25years of life came down to my drunk ass- drowning in a swimming pool.

Goodbye Cheerio Man... Goodbye Edward...Goodbye Alice...Goodbye Mom, Dad...Goodbye Vernon...It's been nice knowing you...

"Breathe, come on beautiful... Breathe."

I felt pressure being applied to my chest... Erghhh... it felt horrendous as they pressed down... I felt a burning sensation in my throat... I could taste chlorine...

I tried to suck in some air as a flush of water came up my wind pipe and made me gag... I turned to my left and coughed up what seemed like an ocean.

I lied back down still unable to open my eyes..."Beautiful can you hear me? ... You're OK... I'm here... damnit just keep breathing... don't try to speak baby... just stay calm... fuck you fell in the pool... I thought you were a goner for a second! Fuck baby, you can't leave me. Come on breathe. Stay with me my beautiful angel."

I'd fallen in the pool? When...how?

I felt a light pressure to the top of my head; as if someone was kissing me. I wanted to see who it was. Who was my knight in shinning armour?

I tried to flutter my eyelashes to get them to open. I had the strangest sense of de ja vu. Like I'd been in a similar situation before.

I blinked rapidly, clearing my vision as best as I could. I still felt very drunk so my vision was never going to be crystal clear. My eyes burned; it felt like fire was slowly being blow torched directly into my eyes.

"It's the chlorine beautiful- it will make your eyes sore."

This man, whoever he was, seemed to have the answers to everything...

"Give her some space, she needs some fucking space..."

"Beautiful, I'm going to lift you up now; you need some space to breathe and we need to get you in a blanket and warmed up before you catch your death."

I felt arms start to creep under my body. One was placed just under my knees and the other slid under my neck. I was slowly being lifted from the ground. I didn't need a blanket – where his skin made contact with mine it burned fiercely. The warmth he created spread through out my body igniting every part of me.

I could feel that he was carrying me up stairs. He didn't seem to struggle with the weight of my body. I shifted my eyes to his arms that were surrounding me. My head was resting against his bicep muscle. It was straining against my weight. The moan that creeped through my lips as I watched his bicep elongate and then shorten as he moved caused him to speak once again.

"Are you in pain beautiful...? I'll set you down soon, nearly there my darling girl..."

He thought I was in pain... well I was... I was in pain because this man was causing my body to burn all over in desire. He elicited the same response Cheerio man had over me...hold on...

I had to get him to speak again, I hadn't been paying attention... but was it him... was it _my_ cheerio guy?

I groaned again... it wasn't hard to create this noise I just had to think of his muscles flexing for my inner vixen to peak her head out in interest.

"Almost there baby, just a few more seconds." His voice sounded like the sweetest symphony.

It was him... Edward... Cheerio Man... He was here...with...me!

I needed to see his face, I needed to gaze into those eyes that had plagued my dreams...I needed...

I felt the overwhelming need to talk to Edward online... he'd know exactly what I should do in this moment...

I'd say to him... so I met him again... and he was basically my knight in shining armour. This is my perfect opportunity to finally 'talk' to him... so what should I do?

Edward would say... go for it, don't hold back... go get your prince...

But fuck was that scary....

"Here we go beautiful... I'm going to cover you with the duvet; you just lie back and get warm. I'll be right here if you need anything."

His voice sounded like home. His scent smelt like home... he was my home...

I must have drifted off because I awoke with a start... where was I?

I was huddled into a ball and my head pounded and my whole body ached, especially my chest- it felt like I had a heard of elephants setting up camp inside my lungs and they were about to stampede.

I let out a shaky breath and made to open my eyes. I was lying on my side and I could feel a presence next to me. I slowly lifted my eyelids. I was met with the most gorgeous green eyes I had ever seen...

It was..._him_!

I was practically huddled into the side of him...

"Hello sleepy head... you keep passing out on me... I feel like I should say we've got to stop meeting like this!"

"You're here...why are you here?"

He was here… next to me… I was breathing in his air. I could barely think straight as his warmth breath blew across my face. He was dangerously close to me and I could feel myself itching to be closer. He was touching my arm ever so faintly; it was causing my skin to prickle. This man was the embodiment of heaven and he was lying next to me.

_He_ was_ here_.

"Do you want me to leave? ... I can... I will..." He sounded upset by what I'd said but I hadn't meant it like that...

"No... No...That's not what I meant. It's just, were you invited? How did you know I was here?" I questioned.

"I was invited. I'm a friend of Jasper's."

Cheerio Man... Edward... knew Jasper?

This was all just too much. I'd been at the party and now I was in bed with Cheerio Man. Damn! I had to stop calling him that. Edward, I was here with Edward. But why was I in bed with him? Oh no, had I slept with him? I'd had sex with Edward and I couldn't even remember it because I was so drunk…This had to be the worst day of my life. My dreams came true and I'd been unconscious for all of it.

My face flushed pink as I grew more embarrassed. Why was he here with me? What happened to me?

"Oh."

"Oh good, or oh bad?" He looked puzzled.

"Oh good – I think."

I wasn't really sure, my head was thumping, my eyes were blurring, my heart was hammering and my body was burning, nothing really made sense. It all seemed like a dream to me. I couldn't really remember what had happened and it was making my brain feel like it was splitting into a million pieces just trying to remember.

Decorating ...Vodka... Megaphone…Vodka…Drinking Games...More Vodka...Swimming Pool...Vodka...

Fuck Vern!!!

Where was Vern??

* * *

**A/N**

**Next Chapter will be EPOV ;)**

**I is for I am Edward Cullen **

**Hit that little button and show me some love **

**As I'm moving country I better practice my Spanish – ****Adiós**** Amigos**

**Dems xoxo**


	9. I is for I am Edward Cullen

**A/N Stephanie Meyer owns the Twi Saga. Robert Pattinson owns the copyright on his version of I'll be your lover too. – Go listen. SSR is mine. **

**Edward's turn now... **

**Vron, Jen and Jeanne you ladies are the best – You have really helped me this week! love to you x**

**The gorgeous Myr set up my Twilighted thread (I'm a techno-phobe)– head on over and get chatting **http:// www . twilighted . net/forum/viewtopic . php?f=44&t=9647

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**I am Edward Cullen**

**msbellaswan1: **(17.59pm): You can stay out of this Mr. - I will do it in my own time. I'm going to need to work on my courage a bit longer before I can tackle him. His name's Edward Cullen. Ring any bells?

Ring any bells?

RING ANY FUCKING BELLS?

I am Edward Cullen. It's ringing every fucking bell in my body.

What the hell do I say to her? All along the woman I've fantasised about has been right in front of me. Her name's Bella. My Bella...My Beautiful Bella.

It was her.

I had to go offline; I didn't know what else to do. It's not like I could just turn around and say – "I'm Edward. I'm the guy you've been talking about."

Fuck. She's been talking about me all this time. Her mystery guy- is me. All she wanted was for this guy to notice her. She never even realised that every time we bumped into each other I couldn't help but notice her. I found myself staring at her desperately trying to burn her image into my memory just in-case I never saw her again.

This was the beautiful girl that had fainted in my lap. This was the beautiful girl with the brown eyes that bore right into my soul. This was the beautiful girl that stumbled and fell after every step and this was the beautiful girl that I wanted to protect and keep as my own forever.

I thirsted for her. I hungered for her touch. Her face, her body, her voice, her scent. There is no other way I could explain it. She was like a drug to me. She was like my own personal brand of heroin. I needed her. I wanted her. I had to have her.

Fuck.

What do I do? It was like fate had wanted us to be together. I know I sound like a girl believing in that fate bullshit but it's true. It had to be. For me to keep seeing her wherever I go; the supermarket, whilst driving my car, everywhere and now for her to be the girl I talk to online. I just knew it was fate that had intervened here!

I desperately needed to talk to Jas but I knew he was at that party. He'd know what to do but I was stuck in this fucking business meeting that I had no hope of getting out of it until 9pm. It had been a long day already and it was getting longer by the second.

I had no clue how to sort it out. I had no clue what to say or do. Once again I was screwed.

I wondered if Jas would be online. I was worried that Bella would still be on and see me, so I appeared offline until I had checked. Luckily she wasn't on. If she had been I know I would have been tempted to talk to her – I just wouldn't know where to start to try and explain myself. I continued to scroll through my IM list praying to some sort of God that Jas was online.

**FlightOfTheFingers**: (18.59pm): Motherfucker you better be here!

**Whitlock:**(19.01pm): Cocksucker; how's it hanging?

_For a southern gentleman he really had a way with words!_

**FlightOfTheFingers**: (19.03pm): Jas, I'm fucking screwed. The online girl! It's fucking her! She's my Cheerio Girl. Fuck she knows who I am! Well not who I am…but who the guy in the supermarket is. When she said my name I freaked. I just freaked. I'm such a chickenshit! I left her hanging. I just went offline like a fucking tool. I just…I just... Fuck man I don't know what to do! I'm completely freaking out here!

**Whitlock:** (19.05pm) Woahh, woaah... Slow down buddy. Just breathe and tell me what the fuck you are talking about. What do you mean she knows it's you but doesn't? You're not making any sense here.

**FlightOfTheFingers**: (19.06pm): OK. I'm calm. I'm calm. Look, she knows the guy she met in the supermarket is named Edward Cullen. What she doesn't know is the IM guy she's talking to is the same Edward Cullen. Instead of coming out and saying "Oh Hi, it's me, I'm him," I fucking pussied out and terminated the IM. How much of a dick am I? She would have been embarrassed, because fuck she's been confessing her love for this guy and it fucking turns out to be me. If I tell her I'm Edward Cullen I have blown every chance I have with her!

**Whitlock:** (19.07pm): Alright; I get you! Fuck sake E, why can't anything be simple with you?

**FlightOfTheFingers**: (19.07pm): Because I'm a fucking ass that's why.

**Whitlock:** (19.08pm): You can say that again. But let's start with the facts here! You now know her name?

**FlightOfTheFingers**: (19.08pm): Yeah. Bella Swan.

**Whitlock:** (19.09pm): Fuck! Brown hair, brown eyes? Quite short? Sounds educated when she speaks....funny as fuck when she's drunk and so fucking clumsy it's uncanny?

**FlightOfTheFingers**: (19.10pm): Erghhh yeah? What? Wait? How?

**Whitlock:** (19.10pm): Dude! She's sitting directly on the opposite side of the table from me.

**FlightOfTheFingers**: (19.11pm): WHAT?

**Whitlock:** (19.13pm): Fuck E, she's Alice's best friend. This is the girl you were supposed to be meeting tonight. Can I just say that I knew you'd love her from the start? I am so going to take full credit for whatever goes down between you two tonight!

**FlightOfTheFingers**: (19.13pm): Jas, shut the fuck up. She's there with you at that party?

**Whitlock:** (19.15pm): Yaha.

**FlightOfTheFingers**: (19.15pm): Fuck I can't get out of this meeting for another hour and a half!

**Whitlock:** (19.15pm): Don't give me that bullshit. You're the fucking boss! You can do whatever the fuck you want. Now pull some strings and get your sorry ass over here.

**FlightOfTheFingers**: (19.16pm): But Jas, what do I say to her? I can't just turn up and introduce myself. Fuck this is messed up.

**Whitlock:** (19.17pm): Why the fuck not? Dude, it's obvious you two like each other.

**FlightOfTheFingers**: (19.18pm): Because; we never really introduced ourselves name-wise but in other ways we've gone past that stage. She fainted in my lap for fuck sake. We skipped the getting to know each other stage and now it's too late to go back. Isn't it? Besides we did the introducing online and told each other some stuff about ourselves. She just doesn't know that she's been talking to me all along. Fuck. How do I tell her that supermarket Edward and online Edward are one and the same?

**Whitlock:** (19.20pm): This is way too much shit for me to be dealing with on a Saturday night. Can't you just man the fuck up and come round here and we'll talk about this? You over analyse everything Cullen.

**FlightOfTheFingers**: (19.21pm): I'll see what I can do! Don't say anything about me coming to Alice or Bella. I need to get my shit together before I deal with this.

**Whitlock:**(19.22pm): Got it. Lips sealed. Or hopefully my lips will be wrapped around a part of Alice at some point tonight. Eh? Sounds good to me!... Duuude Bella just admitted she's never had sex in water. Well you could sort that shit right out... Hot tub...Jacuzzi whirlpool... Swimming pool... you could have her anywhere.

**FlightOfTheFingers**: (19.23pm):Fuck Jas, don't say that. I gotta get out of this meeting and don't be an asshole to Alice. If you're a dick with Alice, then you'll ruin any chances I might have with Bella. Just don't act like a prick. Ok?

**Whitlock: **(19.25pm): Alright. Chill it. I got it covered. I like her. E, you need to get your ass here now. If you don't get here soon you may not get to talk to her at all. She may end up passed out.

**Whitlock: **(19.26pm): Holy Shit! Alice and Bella are totally wasted and they're attempting to dance on the table. Damn these girls can move....Fuck! Alice is unstable I gotta go bro. She just nearly stacked it off the chair.

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (19.27pm): I'll be there as soon as I can. Jas... Look after Bella. Make sure nothing happens to her.

**Whitlock:** (19.28pm): Less whining more moving your ass out of that fucking meeting.

**FlightOfTheFingers:** (19.30pm): Later.

**Conversation Terminated.**

"Don't you agree Mr Cullen?" Bob's monotone voice weaselled its way into my ears.

"Err, yeah sounds perfect!" _What the fuck was I agreeing to now?_

"Are you sure Sir? Do you think that looking for another building contractor would be the best thing to do in this situation? It would be more beneficial financially. We could save a substantial amount of money. This could be used to advertise the development once it is completed?" Bob droned. He really was the most boring and uninteresting person in the world. His name was Bob- for fuck's sake, that said it all.

"What? No! What happened to Caius&Co building firm? I told you I wanted them! I will not deviate from the original plan. I do not care how much it costs. They are the best and I want nothing but the best." I was majorly pissed now; I did not need this shit on top of what was going on.

I wanted to shout "To hell with it. To hell with the lot of it." I wouldn't be lying if I said I couldn't give a shit. I really couldn't care. None of it mattered.

No-one mattered except her.

"Look Bob, I'm sorry but I've got an important family issue I must attend to. We'll reschedule this meeting for Tuesday afternoon." I didn't even give him the opportunity to refute it. At the end of the day I was the boss and if I've gotta go, I've gotta go and he can't say shit to stop me! This was a matter of life and death. Well, it felt like it. It felt like at any given moment the world was just going to stop spinning and I was going to fall off of the edge.

"Of course, Mr. Cullen. I will send the memo out immediately." Bob was always a kiss ass. I know he was trying to be helpful but for fuck's sake if he could relocate his house to up my ass I think he would! Bloody brown nosing idiot. I had no time for people that treated me like a God damn king. Yeah I was the boss but I can't stand it when my staff get down on their knees and start licking my shoes. That shit just isn't necessary.

But I couldn't deny that he was good at his job. That was the only redeeming quality about him. Otherwise he was a slimy little shit that pissed me off. "Thanks Bob."

I practically sprinted down the corridor to my office and grabbed some clothing out of my closet to change into before I got to the party. I just wanted to get there. I _needed_ to see her.

I took the stairs rather than the elevator. I was too jittery. I couldn't stand still long enough to wait for the elevator to arrive. I was bursting with energy. I don't know if it was nervous energy or excited energy but I just couldn't wait to get a glimpse of her.

I reached my car and threw myself into it. Putting the car into gear, I revved the engine and sped off towards Alice's uncle's house. It was only 10 minutes away from the offices. He lives in a very upscale area of Seattle.

My fingers were twitching and I was tapping the steering wheel repeatedly as I tried to calm myself for what I may encounter once I entered the party. Would she come and talk to me? Would she try to avoid me now that she knew I was "Edward Cullen, multi millionaire."? She said that bothered her. I wouldn't be able to stand it if she acted weird with me. She was one of the only people that made me feel normal. In the supermarket she took me at face value and treated me like a regular son of a bitch. I loved that about her.

Maybe she would be so drunk she wouldn't recognize me? Shit - I couldn't deal with that either. If she just smiled at me like I was a nobody it would break my heart.

I pulled up outside and put the car into park. I took in one final breath and decided to man the fuck up and get in there and face the music. I could handle whatever the consequences may be. I knocked on the door and a very young looking boy who quite clearly was off of his face greeted me. He'd lost both of the sleeves off of his shirt and his trousers had been cut off at the knee?

Welcome to the best party I've ever been too." Hiccough. "Can I take your coat? Please kind gentleman, sir, man?" He attempted to shake my hand but he clearly couldn't see straight because he made a grab for the wall rather than me. "Oh fuuuuck, I forgot to say 'help yourself to a drink'."

"It's fine, really, I'm fine. I'm not wearing a jacket so don't sweat it. Do you know Bella?" I inquired.

"Damn, Isabella Swan, don't tell her I said this but she is so fucking hot." he seemed to blush slightly as he said this, but then again he had drunk a shit load of alcohol. He probably had that rosy glow because of all the liquor coursing through his system.

That beautiful glow immediately made me think of Bella. She really was beautiful. You couldn't describe her as hot because she was more than that. She was like a morning sunrise, a breaking dawn that signalled the start of a new day or she was like an eclipse; her beauty blocked out and made everything else pale in comparison to her.

I had to see her.

"Yeah, Bella, do you know where she is?" I tried to hide the sense of urgency in my voice but I really needed to see her.

"Pool hose. Last time I saw her she was heading towards the poodle house!" With that the boy slid down the wall and collapsed into a heap onto the floor. He really was fucked. Poodle house? Did these people have a pool house or a house made for dogs? Who fucking lived here? Paris Hilton and her ugly dogs that looked like rats?

If I wasn't in such a rush to find Bella I would have sorted him out. I knew he'd be OK- but still, I felt bad just leaving him unattended. I shouted to another guest that if he could give this boy some water that would be a good plan.

I slowly wormed my way through the crowded house looking for Jas or anyone who could point me in the direction of the pool house.

I continued to wander; there were people everywhere. There were couples making out in the front room and as I stepped into the kitchen, which could only be described as utter chaos, I finally saw the clear glass doors that led to the swimming pool area.

I bee lined straight for those doors. Nothing and no one was going to stop me from getting to my girl. I don't know where this new found bravery came from but I was buzzing off of it. I had to see her now before I bottled it.

As I approached the doors; a hand came out of nowhere and grabbed mine...

"Alright man, you made it then?" Jasper tore his lips away from Alice's neck and looked up towards me.

"Hey Jas...Alice?" I didn't want to assume this was Alice. Jasper could fall in love one day and moved onto to the next love of his life within a matter of minutes.

"Fuck! No way! It's Cheerio Man. Bella's going to die when she sees you." Alice slurred.

"Cheerio Man?" I was puzzled.

"Yeah, since the day we saw you in the Cheerio isle. She's called you that ever since!" Alice exclaimed.

"She has? She talks about me?" She really thought about me. Maybe I did have a chance?

"Only all the time." Alice stated.

"That makes two of them then. I can't get Edward to shut up about her." Jas annoyingly added.

"Thanks for that Jas. Where is she?"

"In the pool area straight through there," Jasper motioned with his hand towards the glass doors before continuing. "She wasn't very happy when she left- so go work some of your Cullen magic to cheer her up!" Jas may be an asshole to girls most of the time, but he had this uncanny ability to be able to understand and read girls moods. I guess that's why he managed to bed so many ladies.

I followed the direction his hand pointed in and as I pulled one of the glass doors open. I saw her.

She was about to sit on a lounger looking less than happy. She was cradling a bottle of vodka like her life depended on it and she was mumbling uncontrollably through sobs. My heart strings strained...

I instantly felt sad. Her beautiful eyes were full of tears and her hair was bedraggled. I was drawn to her like a moth to a flame. I wanted to take all of her pain away. I wanted to kiss away her tears. She was biting her bottom lip and I had this un-nerving desire to pull it free using my teeth. I wanted to strip her out of her dress and kiss every inch of her body... I wanted to memorize every freckle, every scar...I wanted to make love to her slowly on the lounger.

_Getting ahead of yourself Cullen...  
_

She unscrewed the vodka bottle and went to take a swig. As the bottle reached her lips, her beautiful derrière reached the lounger. As she placed herself at one end I could already see what was going to happen. She was trying to sit on the head rest end. It would tip and she would fall. I tried to get the words out to shout "stop" but I wasn't fast enough. It tipped and she fell backwards into the water.

FUCKKKKKKKKKKK.

"Bella. Nooooo. Bella. Bella. Noooooo. Help someone, help."

I ran to the side of the pool and tried to reach her but she was flailing around. She was drifting to the bottom of the pool. I felt sick; my beautiful girl.

I could see her gulping down water. No. Why does this happen to me? Not only is her life being dragged to the bottom but so is mine. My life, her life- it was the same thing. She was everything to me. I couldn't let that happen. She was my future. I hadn't even got a chance to tell her yet.

I threw off my shoes and ripped my shirt off. I dived straight into the water where I could see her lifeless body drifting away from me.

I made every stroke count as I swam down to her. I couldn't lose her. I wouldn't lose her.

I finally grabbed her hand and I surrounded myself around her as I pushed us up towards the surface. She was limp in my arms. I started praying to God that he would forgive every sin I had ever committed just so that she would live. I was silently pleading for him to not take her away from me. This wasn't her time to go. This was our time to live – together.

I cradled her in my arms and walked up the swimming pool steps and placed her on the ground.

"Breathe, come on beautiful... Breathe." I made my voice sound as light as possible. My angel had to live. Just hear me, beautiful girl. Please hear me and come back to me.

She wasn't responding. I didn't know what else to do; her breathing was severely laboured. I could tell she was coming in and out of consciousness and so I did the only thing I could think of. I applied pressure to her chest to try and clear her lungs. As I pushed her chest; she started to lift up slightly. She turned to her left and slowly retched all the water she had taken down.

She was sobbing and I couldn't do anything to make the pain go away. I continued to stroke her arm. She had to empty her lungs before she could breathe properly. I knew the chlorine would be burning her throat like a motherfucker.

Her eyelids covered her beautiful brown eyes but behind the lids her eyes were frantically moving. Every twitch of her lids helped me breathe. She was awake somewhere in there. She was alive.

"Beautiful can you hear me? ... You're OK... I'm here... damnit just keep breathing... don't try to speak baby... just stay calm... fuck you fell in the pool... I thought you were a goner for a second! Fuck baby, you can't leave me. Come on breathe. Stay with me my beautiful angel."

I know I sounded like a blithering idiot but I didn't know what else to say. I thought she was gone forever. I could barely contemplate the idea of having her in my life, let alone the idea of never seeing her again.

I just had to touch her; I had to feel her skin with the blood pulsing underneath just to reassure myself she was still with me. I lightly touched my lips to her forehead and I could feel the vein near her temple pulsing. _Come back to me beautiful, don't leave me._

As I kissed her, she moved. She was responding to my touch. I wondered if she felt the burning sensation I got every time she touched me. I knew that if I was unconscious and she touched me that just the faintest of touches from her skin would bring me back.

Her eyelids opened and she started to rapidly blink. Her eyes were bloodshot and I could see the pain in her eyes, not only from the chlorine but she still looked so sad. I would spend my whole life, if she would have me, making sure I never saw that look in her eyes again.

"It's the chlorine beautiful- it will make your eyes sore." I just wanted to reassure her that she would be OK. I wasn't going to leave her. Never would I leave her side again unless she sent me away.

As she started to come 'round, the party guests started to crowd around her. I didn't want anyone else near her. They hadn't come to her rescue when I'd shouted for help. Now they just wanted to gape at her. I wasn't going to have that. She wasn't a fucking spectacle to be gawked at.

"Give her some space, she needs some fucking space..." I sounded aggravated. I didn't know what to feel. I couldn't feel anything except the pull for this woman lying limply in front of me.

I needed to move her. She needed to be lying down on a bed. Her body was starting to convulse. Her skin was starting to goosebump and her teeth were chattering. I had to get her somewhere warm soon or she'd catch hypothermia or something. I didn't pay much attention to my Dad's doctor stuff but I knew this much...Get too cold you die. I couldn't let that happen. I hoped my Dad would be proud of me; at least something he'd said to me over the years had gone in.

"Beautiful, I'm going to lift you up now; you need some space to breathe and we need to get you in a blanket and warmed up before you catch your death."

I slid one arm under her neck and the other one behind her knees. I picked her up and cradled her close to my chest. She felt so perfect in my arms. I was probably holding her too tight but I just needed reassurance again that she was still here. I made for the stairs and a slow moan came from her mouth. If she hadn't have just nearly drowned, the small whimper would have turned me on.

"Are you in pain beautiful? ... I'll set you down soon, nearly there my darling girl..." I just needed to get to a bed only then would I put her down. I made for the first room at the top of the staircase and went straight in when I saw the bed.

It was an elaborate, king size bed and it was big enough for the both of us. I couldn't stand the thought of not lying next to her. My body longed to be near her in anyway it could.

She groaned again, my poor beautiful girl. "Almost there baby, just a few more seconds." I was in full protective mode. In my heart I knew she was the girl for me. She was my baby.

I wonder if she recognizes my voice? I know I'm a fool for getting my hopes up before I've told her the truth but the power she already had over me told me she was the only girl for me. She was gravity and I was the apple I couldn't help but fall for her.

I placed her gently onto the bed; "Here we go beautiful... I'm going to cover you with the duvet; you just lie back and get warm. I'll be right here if you need anything." Not for love nor money would I leave her side.

She seemed to nestle into my side and slowly fell asleep. She must have been exhausted. She'd had a very traumatic ordeal.

She was restless but I just pressed her closer to me and continued to whisper to her. She seemed to settle down once again. My voice seemed to calm her.

I told her how much I loved her, how beautiful she was. I pleaded with her to love me as much as I loved her.

I tried to explain that although we barely knew eachother, I just knew that we were meant to be. I couldn't really put into words what she did to me but I tried to articulate it as best as I could. I told her all about my life. Losing my mother and how my Dad and I helped eachother through it and how it brought us closer together. This was all stuff I had never told anyone before.

I don't know what it was about her but I felt like I could be myself. I just had this feeling that she'd accept me for who I was. She would take the good with the bad and love all of my faults. I hoped that she wouldn't see me as Edward Cullen the millionaire but Edward Cullen the man. Who was nothing without her.

I told her how my Dad would love her. He would be completely taken with her. I was getting excited just at the idea of them meeting. I hoped he would approve of her. I knew in my heart he would and even if he didn't, it didn't matter to me. I had chosen her all I needed was for her to choose me back.

After a while I became silent again and she tried to nestle further into my arm and continued to whimper so I started to sing to her.

I had, after all, written this song for her:

I didn't realize when I started to write this how much truth there would be in these words. They fit perfectly to this exact moment. I just wanted to keep her in my arms forever, I would spend my life protecting her and taking care of her. All she needs to say to me is "I'll be your lover too."

**I'll be your man  
And I'll understand  
And I'll do my best  
To take good care of you**

**You'll be my queen  
I'll be your king  
And I'll be your lover too  
Yeah yeah  
Yes I will**

**Derry down green  
Color of my dream  
A dream that's daily coming true.  
And ohhh when the day is through  
I will come to you and tell you of  
Your many charms**

**And when you look at me  
With eyes that see  
And we'll melt into each others arms**

**You'll be my queen  
And I'll be your king  
And I'll be your lover too.**

As I stopped singing she let out a very shaky breath and started to open her eyes. My face was lying next to hers. I could see my breath blowing wisps of her hair. As she fully opened her eyes we were left gazing at eachother. I was blown away. To say her eyes were brown would be an understatement. They had undertones of gold and auburn that made the intensity of her eyes breathtaking. When she looked up towards the light the colour of her eyes lightened once again to a light mahogany. As she turned back to look at my face they turned the darkest shade I had ever seen. The flecks of gold caused her eyes to sparkle. The darkness of her eyes against the gold made her eyes scream desire.

My breathing hitched. With one look this woman made me putty in her hands. She was just staring at me. Perhaps I was scaring her? Maybe she had a concussion?

"Hello sleepy head... you keep passing out on me... I feel like I should say we've got to stop meeting like this!" Maybe if I spoke to her it would all come back to her.

"You're here...why are you here?" she hesitantly asked.

She didn't want me. Fuck, I was stupid to ever get my hopes up. I was a foolish man and even more foolish for ever thinking she would want someone like me. Yes I could offer her everything money could buy. But apart from that I was nothing. I would always be nothing without her. Just her presence made me feel complete. I hadn't felt like that since the day my Mother had died.

"Do you want me to leave? ... I can... I will..." I would never talk to her again if that's what she wanted. I would do anything to keep her happy.

"No... No...That's not what I meant. It's just, were you invited? How did you know I was here?" She questioned.

"I was invited; I'm a friend of Jasper's." I didn't know what else to say. I felt crushed.

As she contemplated what I said she flushed the most beautiful colour. It rose from her chest up to her cheeks before she finally lifted her eyes up to me. I was so stunned I couldn't catch my breath. She was perfection. She was an angel.

As I tried to collect myself she let out an almost silent "Oh." Her voice sounded very breathy and incredibly seductive. I don't know if she did it purposefully or due to her sore throat from the chlorine.

"Oh good, or Oh bad?" Now I was freaking the fuck out.

Please don't be bad, I can't cope with bad. My heart can't cope with bad.

"Oh good – I think." She said it but didn't sound sure. But at least she'd said good rather than bad.

Her face suddenly crumpled and she looked in even more pain. She started to blink in quick succession and I could tell she was zoning out again. Within seconds she sighed heavily and shouted "Verrrrrrnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!" and fell back asleep.

Who the fuck was Vern? Was that a boyfriend? Her dog? Her neighbour?

You can't just shout Vern and fall asleep! I was going out of my mind. She'd told me online that she was in love with Edward Cullen. That was me. I am Edward Cullen. So who the hell was Vern?

She rolled over and pushed her ass into my lap and pulled my arm over her and wrapped herself around it. She was softly moaning and groaning. This was a highly compromising position.

This woman was fucking killing me. Bella would be the death of me. I tried to move myself away from her. As wrong as it was, her moaning and her ass up against my lap was turning me on. This wasn't acceptable- she'd just had a near death experience and my dick wanted to bury itself inside of her. God, I'm a fucking douchebag.

As I tried to extract myself from her grasp, she moaned louder and whimpered in the sexiest voice I have ever heard. My dick reacted immediately. Like it had been called to attention.

"Oh Edward, Edward... Oh... Oh....YES"

_Fuck!_

She was dreaming about me. And the way her hips were shifting and wiggling against my crotch led me to believe we were doing less than innocent things.

I sighed heavily and breathed "Oh Bella, what you do to me," into her ear.

Just as she started to whimper my name again the bedroom door swung open and Alice came marching in clearly, still highly inebriated.

"You fucking asshole! Get away from her!" Alice screeched. What the fuck? What had I done?

"Think you can just come in here and take advantage of her when she's drunk. I don't think so Mr! She's been missing for over two hours and all this time you've had her in here." Seriously, what the hell was she talking about?

"Alice... No... It's not... She fell... and I..." I tried to explain but I just couldn't get the words out as I tried to speak Bella once again ground her hips into my crotch and reached behind me and grabbed my hips for further leverage.

Her touch on my skin was like fire. I couldn't comprehend anything. All I could concentrate on was Bella's hands digging into my hips and her ass grounding into my lap, as she whimpered. Fuck. Alice carried on raging but it was like a distant humming in my ears.

Alices voice became louder and closer "Likely story asshole, now get the fuck away from her." She stepped forward and bent down beside Bella.

She was shouting so loud I thought my eardrums were going to explode. She brought me back to reality with a fucking thud.

"Bella, Bella... she's unconscious... you've killed her... What the hell did you slip in her drink? ... What the fuck have you done?" Alice was screaming the house down as she shouted at me, she rose to her feet.

Jasper came running in and grabbed Alice's arms as she lunged for me.

"Baby, stop... Ben downstairs just told me that she fell in the pool and he saved her. Look Baby - they are fully clothed; he's just looking after her." Jasper was my life saver.

"You... you... did? You saved her?" Alice whispered, choking back a sob.

Christ, this girl could go from one sound level to another in a matter of seconds. Let alone from one mood to another, Jasper had a right nut job on his hands here. And since when did he call anyone "baby"?

"She fell in and... and... She couldn't swim up... and I … pulled... her out...!" I could barely bring myself to say it. I had been seconds away from losing her.

I tried to pull away from Bella but being this close to her was clouding my vision; I couldn't think straight. How she'd managed to stay asleep through Alice's verbal attacking was shocking to me.

I pulled my arm free and was wriggling away from her behind as she sat bolt up right and shouted:

"I love you Eddie, don't leave me."

Eddie? No-one had called me Eddie since my Mom was alive.

I couldn't believe it. She was an angel. She was everything I needed embodied into one person. She helped me remember my childhood and she helped me remember my Mom. She filled voids that I thought would be forever empty. She made me feel safe, she completed me. I couldn't cope- it was information overload. I thought I was a strong and fulfilled man until she walked into my life.

Hearing those words pass through her lips made me realize that only now that she was in my life could I say that I am Edward Cullen. I was no longer a boy; I was Edward Cullen... the man.

* * * * * * * * *

**A/N – longest a/n in the world....**

**You'll be shocked to know that I am currently sitting in a café and I have a glass of Water – not a drop of alcohol near me! –UPDATE: I'm currently re-drafting this and this time around I have an amaretto and coke – Haha!**

**I won't be doing a chapter like this again. I just needed everyone to see the drowning sequence from his point of view so you could understand how Edward felt. I will however do Epov's throughout the story where they are needed. Just like in Twi – he's as intense as ever. **

**So Bella knows that Cheerio Man is Edward Cullen.... Edward knows that Bella is the girl from the store and online. **

**Just Bella who needs to put two and two together and suss that online Edward is also Edward Cullen.**

**It's slowly coming together...**

**Please hit that button and let me know what you think... It honestly fills me with such happiness when I see you've left a review.**

**Hi to all new readers; we've had an influx this week! Don't forget to alert me so you know when I'm updating!**

**J is for... You'll have to wait and see.**

**Dems xoxo**


	10. J is for Jigsaw

**A/N Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all associated characters S.S.R is mine.**

**It's been a long time coming... but it is great to be back.**

**Quick rundown on past events:**

**Bella and Edward discovered who each other were in regards to meeting in the supermarket.**

**Edward knows Bella is the girl he speaks to online.. Bella however doesn't know that Edward is 'flightofthefingers'.**

**Bella's just had a near death experience in a swimming pool, but was saved by the heroic Edward... now... what on earth could possibly go wrong for these two lovers...?**

**See you down below my Dears.  
**

**J is for Jigsaw  
**

**Alice Pov**

1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8 Jasper's lying next to me.

What the hell?

I blinked a few times, quickly trying to re-adjust my eyes.

8 Jasper's? I attempted to count again...

5 Jasper's lying next to me.

Erghhh my head. Whose idea was it anyway to drink all the alcohol ever created? My head was pounding and the world was spinning and everything was quadrupling every time I blinked. I decided the safest option would be to shut my eyes and hope the world decided to keep still.

My stomach lurched...

"I'll be right... baaa..." I literally chucked myself over Jasper's body and flew head first into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me.

"Darlin' are you alright?" Jasper lazily drawled from the bedroom.

"Mmmhhmmm... just..."

With that I lurched again... the bathroom floor was looking more and more comfortable by the second. I thanked God someone had decided the fluffy white rug was a good plan for the decor. As it was now my new bed for the day. I wasn't moving from the floor until I was sure I could see straight.

"Jas I'm going to be a while just go back to sleep. I don't want to hear about what I did last night; or anything I said. Got it?" I croaked out.

With that I was off again... I was unaware I'd eaten rice yesterday?... I didn't even hear what Jasper said... something about Edward and an apology.

**Bella Pov**

I ached. Everything ached! I groaned as I tried to stretch my muscles. My back felt like it had been snapped at every vertebrae and my legs felt like dead weight.

I continued to gradually unwind my body flexing every joint, slowly but surely trying to work feeling back into all my extremities. What the hell happened last night? I felt like I'd had three rounds with Mike Tyson.

I opened one eye and then the other, and it burned as my blurry vision started to come into focus. I let my eyes wander around the room and take in the surroundings. I was somewhere un- familiar, most certainly not in my house.

Last place I remembered being was? I don't know where? Everything seemed hazy and as much as I tried to centre myself I just came up with blanks? I couldn't remember how I even got here?

I arched my back slightly and revelled in the stretch that seemed to loosen up the pain in my back. As I reclined back I hit against something relatively small but hard. I stilled myself.

I decided to gradually raise my arm behind me and have a feel around. I inched my arm higher and higher from my side until I could rest my hand on a what felt relatively cushioned but muscular... I continued working my hand upwards until I could wrap it around this protruding object. It felt stiff but smooth... I slid my hand from the top to the base and back again. It was warm.

I let go and heard a sudden hiss coming from behind me, I whirled round to be faced with...

With... a man.

Oh God I'd grabbed his... I'd touched his...

The ear piercing scream that came out of my mouth was like nothing I had ever heard before. The next state probably could have heard me.

I couldn't stop myself... what with this odd man being in bed with me, my aching body and this strange room I had no fucking idea what was going on.

I could hear my screaming but I was unaware of anything else going on. I could have been screaming for seconds, minutes maybe months for all I knew.

I felt a hand come down over my mouth and the noise I was making became muffled.

"Shhh now beautiful, I'm here... It's alright." The voice sounded angelic, smooth yet manly, deep but warm. It had just the right amount of breathiness to make me want to swoon into his arms.

The sound of it made my breathing falter. I looked up to find a pair of piercing green eyes.

I blinked again to try and refocus. His eyes were staring straight through me with such emotion and depth. It caught me off guard and I raised my hand to my mouth and slowly pulled his hand away from my lips.

"W..."

I tried to speak but my voice was weak.

"Who... are you..?" I whispered.

His eyes instantly fell from mine and his face crumpled.

"You, you don't recognise who I am?" he mumbled in a disheartened voice.

"Bella, it's Edward, you know... cheerio man?" I heard a voice I recognised to the left of me and turned in the bed to find Alice standing by the bedroom door with another man I didn't know.

"Alice, what's... what's going on? Cheerio's? What are you talking about? Why am I here... and with him?"

I turned my head back towards this man... Edward? I couldn't place him... I was trying, frantically searching through memories and I couldn't even picture his face.

"Well, he's your... your... well...I don't really know what he is to you?" Alice sounded just as puzzled as me.

"Darlin' go and call a doctor; something's not right here with little Bella!" The man with Alice seemed to know who I was, but who the hell was he?

"I'll call my Dad, he'll know what to do." Edward stated matter of factly. Although I could hear in his voice he was trying to be sure and have faith in his statement, somehow it just didn't ring true.

Edward got out of the bed and paced towards the bedroom door, grabbed Alice's friends arm and stalked out.

Alice climbed into bed with me and put her arms around me... I just crumbled into her side. I was so confused.

"B, can you not remember anything? You've met Edward plenty of times... you've even met Jasper my boyfriend... well my new boyfriend as of last night officially but still you've met him...Edwards all you've spoken about for what feels like forever!"

"Al, I don't remember any of them or why I'm here." My voice was quivering I was starting to panic.

Why couldn't I remember them? why didn't I know what Alice was talking about?

I heard tyres screech to a halt outside and the hushed voices outside the bedroom door seemed to descend down the stairs to collect whoever had arrived.

I heard Alice's boyfriend say "She's just up here... she seems to have forgotten everything. She doesn't recognise anyone but Alice. There was a party here last night, and it got a little out of hand. She almost drowned in the swimming pool but Edward dived in and saved her. He's quite the hero you should be proud Daddy C. I reckon she could have a mild concussion. But you're the doctor not me; I'd say that it's all to do with the quantity of alcohol she drank. However Edward stayed by her side all night... he looked after her Carlisle. So he'd be the best person to ask."

"Thank you for the diagnosis Doctor Jasper. What I want to know is why wasn't a doctor called last night? Edward?... answer me. Why wasn't a doctor called?" That must have been Carlisle.

They were right outside the bedroom door now. They were trying to keep their voices down, but I could still hear their concerned hushed voices. Whoever was unlucky enough to fall in a swimming pool and get a concussion was very unlucky... it almost sounded like something I would do.

"I... I don't know I panicked.. I didn't want to leave her side! I just stayed with her all night. Held her every time she woke up... she asked for me Dad. I couldn't leave her. She coughed up all the water she swallowed...I... I just held her... that's all... she only settled if I held her." When Edward spoke his voice seemed to soothe me. It was like my body recognised him but my mind, it was blocked... I just didn't know who he was.

Well if I woke up next to him... then surely the person who fell in the pool must have been... Me? But I would have remembered something like that. Wouldn't I?

With that the door opened and in walked the three men.

"Hi, I am Dr Masen and I'm..." He seemed to pause as me and Alice turned to look at him.

Alice sucked in her breath and started to shake her head frantically.

"Oh... Er... Hi... Alice... and B...B...Bella." Carlisle babbled.

"Carlisle?... it's err funny to err see you errr here, how's erm Charlie?... oh erm I mean... how have you been? I wouldn't erm... ohh it's hot in here... is it me or is it hot in here? I think it's hot... anyone else?... no?... fresh air?... Jasper... Let's go get some fresh air." She marched over to Jasper and turned to look at me as she walked out the room. Her face was panic stricken.

So this man knew me and Alice? Well apparently everyone knew me I just had no clue who anyone was. This man knowing me and Alice seemed like a surprise to Edward though. At least I wasn't the only one who didn't know what was fully going on. What on earth had Alice so riled up? She was flouncy at the best of times but this was something else. I'd never seen her so worried about something before. Her sentences are fast paced and you have to be careful not to blink because you might miss something but that...that little show she just put on just did not make sense.

Dr Masen breathed in sharply through his nose and rubbed his temples soothingly with his fingertips. He seemed to gather himself and came to sit on the bed next to me. He did the usual doctor routine and took my blood pressure and quickly examined my body for any grazes or bruising before finally seeing to my head for injuries. It turned out I had a cut on my scalp, nothing too bad but it needed stitches none the less.

I hadn't even been aware of a cut on my head, to be honest it felt numb... I felt numb about everything. I was so confused and disorientated that I didn't know what to think or feel. He shined his light into my eyes and made me follow his finger before asking me to recall the date and the last thing I remember doing.

"It's the err... 22nd of January and I tutored one of my kids yesterday for his English assignment on secret or hidden love within Shakespeare's writing. I remember it perfectly because he had to explore the meaning behind the quote . "Who could refrain that had a heart to love and in that heart courage to make love known?" I could remember quotes from books but trying to remember what day of the week it was... was a completely different story, however I remember writing the date on top of James notebook, so it was definitely the 22nd today.

Edward seemed to collapse onto the bed with a thump, and started to breathe really deeply. He looked so sad, lost almost.

"Bella, now this is going to seem confusing to you, but I don't want you to worry it's the 22nd of March today, not January and yesterday you came to this party with your friends Alice and Jasper." Carlisle stated.

"It's the 22nd of March?" I feebly questioned.

"What's wrong with her Dad? If she thinks it's January then... then that means... she doesn't remember me... at all?" Edward looked like his heart was in his mouth.

"I believe Bella is suffering from amnesia, now while she does seem to have her long term memories still intact it appears the trauma from the drowning in the pool and the head injury has caused her to lose her short term memories." Dr Masen sounded very serious.

To be honest I'd barely taken in what he'd said but the stern look on his face showed me that perhaps whatever had happened was bad... very bad.

"Now I would need to conduct more tests before I could determine whether there are any long term effects and whether we have any chance of your memory returning. Now while I know this will be a big shock to you, you are lucky in the sense it is only 2 months of memory missing. Many people lose years, or for those really unfortunate they lose a whole lifetime of memories. Now I will make a few phone calls and get you an appointment at the hospital for as soon as possible. Please excuse me..."

Dr Masen got up to leave but just before he left he turned to Edward and asked "Stay with her, whilst I make these calls, I know you'll look after her and then we need to have a chat."

Dr Masen left the room once Edward had given him a curt nod.

Edward rose from the bed and wandered to the bedroom window where he seemed to ponder, almost absentmindedly staring into space. I could see the slow rise and fall of his chest as he digested what had been said. I don't know why I was so intrigued by how he was taking this news, I should be the one that was devastated but he seemed to be hurting and I wanted to know why. He seemed to be taking all of this really badly. He must have meant something to me, something important I just wish I knew what.

He must have felt me watching him because he turned to look at me. His eyes were instantly locked to mine, and all I could see was the pain running through his body. He hesitantly walked towards me and pulled me up from the bed so I was face to face with him.

"Bella, please remember, I need you to remember. You need to remember what you can and piece it together like a jigsaw." He pleaded with me. The sorrow I could hear in his voice was soul destroying.

"I want to. I wish I could. Your eyes, they feel so familiar. They make me thing of good things, happy things I just don't know what they are related to. Help me. Help me remember Edward. I want to remember." I didn't know what was happening, or why I felt drawn to this man but I felt like he knew everything about me. I felt like he could reach down into my soul and complete every part of me.

"Remind me Edward, fill in the blanks." I felt myself begging him.

"I... I can't... you have to... you've got to remember for yourself. I need you to want it... I want you to remember for the right reasons, not just because I've told you what you need to know." He pressed his lips softly to my head. The warmth that spread throughout my body was electrifying. My body knew him. I know it knew him. I just didn't couldn't remember how or why.

"I want to remember. I can feel... I don't know what I can feel but it's something. Whatever we were or whatever we had...just don't give up on me... wait for me Edward..." I didn't really know what I was saying. For all I knew he could be my brother or my best friend but I felt this burning desire to put the jigsaw my life had become back together. I knew he was the reason I wanted my memory back.  
****************

**Alice Pov**

"Pssst." I was trying to be as subtle as I could...

"Pssssssssssssssst"... he still hadn't heard me.

"Oi." I shouted. Well that got his attention and I waved Carlisle over.

Carlisle came strolling over. I grabbed his arm and pulled him to the side of the porch, we were slightly hidden by the marble pillars. I could see by his face he knew what I was going to say.

"I know." Carlisle hissed.

"Well what the fuck are we going to do Dr Sugar Daddy?"

"Just don't... don't call me that! I didn't know that Edward was dating Bella."

"Well they weren't really dating, I don't really know what they were doing, but it's big ... or was whatever they've got... we are in serious shit if her memory comes back.

"You're telling me, how the hell do I start that conversation with Edward?" Carlisle looked strained.

I went to open my mouth to come up with a plan and Carlisle just carried straight on.

"Son, look listen the girl that you've clearly fallen in love with, well I went on a date with her and I kissed her, oh and just to add insult to injury we crawled up her garden path in a drunken stupor but don't worry we decided after our night out together to not be anything more than friends.. So don't sweat it Edward."

"Huh? What you say Dad?"

Edward had just walked out the front door...

"Edward how much did you hear?" I was scared for him to answer.

"Who's nothing more than a friend, what's happened Dad?"

Then all of a sudden from upstairs we heard...

"EDWARDDDDDDDDDDDD." It was Bella shouting.

**A/N ****Well well well.. what can I say apart from I'm back...**

**I've missed you all very much and I'm sorry I've been away for so long.**

**Bella's got amnesia...dun...dun...dun ... she really is the most unlucky girl in the world.**

**K is for .. well you will just have to wait and see...**

**Great to be back guys.. leave me reviews to let me know my faithful readers are still out there. **

**Alot of you while I was away alerted or fav'd this fic. Welcome to S.S.R and I hope you continue to like it.**

**Adios for now my amigos.**

**Dems xoxo**


	11. Knight in Shining Armour

******A/N Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all associated characters S.S.R is mine.**  
There is no excuse for how long it's taken me to update. I'm sorry - forgive me?

**K is for Knight in Shining Armour**

**Bella**

Just what in the blazes was going? Nothing, nothing could ever be simple. I felt like I was trapped in a box; and all four walls were incasing me. I couldn't escape what was happening nor could I explain why I was there. I just had this burning feeling inside my chest; it felt explosive and mighty. Bigger than anything I could ever comprehend. My head was chanting 'Edward, Edward, Edward'; over and over like a mantra. It was like he was my life. Edward...My Edward.

I decided to crawl back into bed hoping that if I shut my eyes long enough, inspiration would hit and I'd suddenly understand the new episode of 'Whats up with Bella'. His name was familair, his smell was lingering. I felt like I was having a flashback. Deep piercing green eyes. Burning, intense staring straight through me.

All at once it seemed to hit...simultaneously my mind was hit with images; supermarket, cheerio's, pyjamas, ruggid, handsome, kind, want, need...

"Edwarddddddddddddd." I shouted his name with every ounce of strength I could muster... I remembered...

I felt nervous, everything suddenly seemed so serious.

I started to wriggle around and that's when my feet got caught in something. I reached down and grabbed the offending object only to discover it was a pair of boxers. Pink boxers with cowboy hats on to be frank.

I didn't really have time to think it through. Whose were they? I slept here.. I slept here with Edward... I had no other choice but to believe they belonged to Edward. Maybe he'd been getting his kicks whilst I was lying in the bed half dead?

I heard footsteps hurtling for the stairs. A herd of rhino's had nothing on the stampeed that was approaching the bedroom door.

My heart was beating out of my chest. _Breathe Bella, breathe_... I was counting the seconds, each one matching the beat of my heart.

How would Edward feel? How do we act? What do I say to him?

I had no answers. Everything was always such a mess with me.

I decided to go for a stern and serious look, we needed to talk. I knew that chance meetings and a lack of talking was getting us nowhere. I also had the issue of the boxers - now that would definately be discussed. Although I must admit I secretly hoped he'd been getting his 'rocks off'. It turned me on to think of him doing it whilst fantassisng over me...

The more I thought about it the more my face flushed and the harder my heart beat.

I was stood just behind the bedroom door with the offending boxers in my hand.

The charging was getting louder; the louder the thump, the closer he was to me.

I heard someone shout "Edward" as he came flying through the door.

**Crash, bang, wallop!**

"Ouuucccchhhhhh" I felt an almighty pain spread across my forehead as I went flying through the air. My body came crashing to the ground like a ton of bricks. My head was thumping, my bum was bruised and I once again felt trapped inside my own head.

To say I was getting used to a sense of bleak, dark oblivion was an understatement. My body sensed that something was missing like it was no longer attached to me. In my mind I thought about wiggiling my toes , but if I tried to move it was like I'd forgotten where my feet were. Last thing I remembered was expecting to see Edwards' face but instead I was met with a deep, gut wrenching burn as the door came hurtling towards my head.

I was aware of light being shone into my eyelids. I had two explanations for the light - I'd either died and gone to heaven, or this was the start of me burning in hell, and the devil was going for a slow torturous burn. If it was heaven there'd be naked Edwards' serving me cocktails as I lounged by the pool...and since no nudity was occuring and the light seemed to be flickering on and off.. it may be possible I was coming round for the 900th time.

I blinked repeatedly whilst being blinded by a light that would give the sun a run for it's money. I thought once more about trying to wiggle my toes. But they still seemed so far away so I thought I'd try raising my knee. I could feel the blood rushing to my extremities and I felt my knee jolt up... and..._smack_.

The light that was still shining clicked off and I heard this wimper and a thump. I opened my eyes to see... to seee... Carlisle of all people curled in a ball next to me whimpering. There was a sharp intake of breath from all the men in the room, and I saw them all physically wince in pain. Jasper even placed his hand over his crotch and rubbed it - as if he was checking it was all intact.

"Oh sweet mercy, oh holy mother of God" Carlsile was clinging to his crotch. In between short sharp breathes Carlisle was mumbling "Good thing had children, gone into hiding...crawled back inside...shrivelling..." Oh shit I hadn't. Had I? Oh shit I'd kneed him in the balls. _DOES LIFE GET ANY WORSE?_

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.. I ... I ... Carlisle I..." Words couldn't explain how bad I felt. But hold on one minute, I knew Edward was here but Carlisle... I sat up. What was Carlisle doing here?

In clear agony, Carlisle rolled onto his knees and took a minute to gather himself. He remained bent at the waist and took a deep, deep breath and slowly raised up to a standing position."Well that's splendid, you seem to be fine Bella. So on that splendifourously glorious note I shall be, erm, leaving." With that Carlisle mde to leave whilst still holding his crotch. He hurried towards the bedroom door that seemed to be hanging from it's hinges feeling very sorry for itself and ran full pelt down the stairs.

Edward then stood and shouted: "Dad?"

The tyres screeched as Carlisle revved away at lightning speed down the road.

My mouth was miles ahead of my brain and I blurted out "Dad?"

"Yeah, Dad." Edward retorts in a nasley voice. Clearly as confused and bewildered as I was. He was holding his nose and then it dawned on me, he'd swung the door open with such gusto that whilst hitting me it had swung back and hit him. The man still looked like a God even with a busted nose.

Mmmmm Edward. Damn, he looked stressed to hell but his hair was in it's usual unruly state. I was going weak at the knees. The way he was holding his nose like an injured soilder only strengthened his appeal. I wanted to take his pain away and love him from head to toe. _Playing Doctor's and nurses never looked so good_.

No hold up, Edward the man I think I might be in love with did just utter the word 'Dad' to the man I had a date with and kissed. Oh this was bad, this was real bad.

"Well, I can see that you two have a lot to discuss so I'm just going to gather my belongings and leave." With that Jasper walked up to me; I was expecting a kiss goodbye or a handshake or something but instead he grabs the boxers out of my hand, gives me a feeble apologetic look and grabs Alice's hand. _Ohhh so the man with the texan drawl wears cowboy hat boxers - go figure. _

As they bolted down the stairs like they were about to catch the plague Alice shouts; "Call me Bellllaaa!" With that the front door slammed shut and it was just me and Edward.

I was finally alone with him and suddenly I felt very very nervous.

"So, erm, mind telling me what's been going on?" I went for the nonchanlant - no pressure attitude hoping that would ease Edward. I really was beyond puzzled, I hoped Edward would have some answers.

It was clear from the intense glare coming from Edwards face that he was about to have a mid-life crisis. His forehead was crinkled and his eyebrows drawn together in what could only b from tension. His mouth was set in a hard straight line, I'd never seen him look so ... sad.

"I'm not sure, I can. I don't really know where to start or where the end is?"

Did I really want this talk with him? I guess by everyone's speedy departure some real talking was needed. I think both of us had alot to say, and maybe now was the time to be truthful.

"Edward, please. I feel like the last 48hours have been the weirdest of my life, someone's got the be able to fill in the gaps." I could see in his face that my pleading was enough to make him want to help.

"I'm going to go all out and just throw it at you..." With a deep breath he began. "You were drunk, fell into the pool; I saved you. I took you up to bed - although I must say when I imagined taking you to bed for the first time it was done in a much better way. You snuggled into me. I thought in that minute my life had been made. Alice stormed in threatened to castrate me if I didn't get away from you. I now know all she really wanted was to rescue Jaspers boxers. You called my name in your sleep. You woke up and couldn't remember anything. I literally wanted to die. Then you shouted my name; I ran up the stairs. Knocked you out, nearly broke my nose. Dad checked if you were alright, and you said his name... Which I guess means your memories back...but... I've never introduced you to my Dad? Have I?" After the biggest rant I'd ever heard that rivaled anything that had ever come out of Alice's mouth. Edward seemed beyond confused. His harsh glare was back and I felt very uncomfortable.

"Well fuck a duck." To say that was hard to listen to would be an understatement. It really is the frigging Bella show. Not only had I clearly spoken Edward's name in my sleep. I now have to explain how I know his Dad.

But more importantly; he'd fantasised about taking me to bed... Edward thought about sex with me... ohhh lala... I could feel my panties swoon. Does that mean he loves me? _Edward and Bella sitting in a tree.. K-I-S-S-I-N-G_.

_Less sex more talking Bella.. right where was I?_

"Well your Dad bumped into me in.. erm.. Walmart...yeah Walmart and he almost ran over my armmm.. I mean foot with his trolley, he apologised, said his name was Carlisle, yep that's exactly how I know his name annnndd that he was a doctor if I was, erm hurt.. yeah that's how we met. Just like that. Yep." _I am the WORST liar_.

"Bella, is there a reason why you're staring at the wall, and seem to have dug a hole with your foot into the carpet?" he'd sussed me - he knew. My story was blown. He saw straight through me. My life was over, he was going to leave, just walk out and forget I existed. That was it I was going to curl up and hide in a black hole knowing, Edward would never love me.

I took a deep breath, although it seemed to catch in the back of my throat. "I went on a date with your Dad." I blurted out.

SILENCE

Then a bit more silence...

His chest didn't even move... was he even breathing?

Nothing but silence.. I could handle screaming; shouting, even tears, but silence. It was horrible.

"Edward, Edward say something. Anything I'm sorry... I really am.. Alice signed me up to a dating site.. it was one date, we ate food and we kissed goodnight." It was like I had verbal dioaherea. Why couldn't I just keep my mouth **shut**.

"Woaaah woaaah woah. Say that last bit again, I don't think I heard you right?" He said slowly.

In between sobs I managed: "we..we...urm...kissed." My voice peaked at the end. With that I broke down into tears.

I felt these arms wrap around me. It was like he was like my knight in shining armour.

"Anymore secrets you want to let out the bag?". He whispered softly in my ear. Even when he was annoyed with me his voice still oozed sex.

I shook my head as I continued to sob. Everything was well and truly ruined now.

"Bella I've got to go... there's some stuff I need to...deal with." With that Edward looked me in the eyes as he took his arms away and walked out the room.

I felt cold and lonlier than ever.

My life was over.

Edward had walked out on me -and it didn't look like he was going to be walking back into my life anytime soon.

It was over.

**Edward**

My Dad was dead. Fucking sick, fucking fuck, fuck. What on earth was he doing? Dating? Online dating? He was getting beats. The swift knee in the balls he recieved from Bella was nothing compared to what he had coming.

But I had bigger things to worry about - much bigger things. I'd done something bad, really bad.

I'd had the cheek to turn to Bella and say "anymore secrets" who the hell do I think I am? Quizzing her about secrets yet I still hadn't told her I was the Edward who she confessed to loving online.

I just couldn't tell her, if she knew, she'd freak and she'd be gone forever, and I couldn't risk that happening. She was mine. My baby, My princess.

Holding her in my arms last night. I realised that's where I was meant to be. By her side. That's where my rightful place was.

I was driving way over the limit, and I hadn't even realised. I was angry, so angry. I knew I had a right to be, my fucking Dad had kissed the love of my life. She was my everything, her face, her lips... her touch. My car started to roar with my speed. I was distracted by the thought of Bella, her essence was pulsing through my body.

I needed to speak to her. I had to tell her the truth. I HAD to make her mine.

But first I had a date with my Dad...

**Bella**

Alice and Jasper had been waiting outside for they saw Edward jump into his car and speed off they came running into the house and bought me home.

I was distraught, but more than anything I was tired. I didn't want to speak to anyone. I didn't want to see anyone.

He'd walked away.

Just left. I had to accept it but I couldnt.

I'd had a traumatic 48hours but as much as I tried to shut my eyes I couldn't. I couldn't block out everything that had happened. I just kept replaying Edward leaving. I wish I had someone to speak to, someone on the outside to give me advice...

**msbellaswan1: (21.05pm): **Are you there?

**FlightOfTheFingers: (21.05pm): **What's wrong?

**msbellaswan1: (21.06pm): **Long version or short version? Do you have all day?

**FlightOfTheFingers: (21.07pm): **Tell me everything.

**msbellaswan1: (21.08pm): **You know that guy I told you about, well it's messed up. Really messed up. He found out something today; I went on a double date with my friend; so she didn't have to go alone and the man I met I ended up kissing. But it weren't like that. We bonded but only as friends. Now it's ruined any chance of him loving me.

**FlightOfTheFingers: (21.11pm): **How do you know it's messed up?

**msbellaswan1: (21.11pm): **He walked out on me. Just left me there.

_I was crying again. It was all too real now I'd typed it._

**FlightOfTheFingers: (21.12pm): **He probably didn't mean it badly, maybe he needed some air. Or needed to go speak to his Dad.

**msbellaswan1: (21.12pm):** How do you know? Maybe he was just so repulsed by me?

**FlightOfTheFingers: (21.13pm): **No... NO... that's definately not what he was thinking... I just needed some air...sometime to think

**msbellaswan1: (21.15pm): **Huh? "I just needed some air?"

**FlightOfTheFingers: (21.16pm): **I meant HE. Definately HE. He just needed some space to think. Trust me I'm a man and I know. I bet he still loves you.

**msbellaswan1: (21.18pm): **No it's over. I know I've ruined it.

**FlightOfTheFingers: (21.18pm): **Bella, he loves you. I know it trust me.

**msbellaswan1: (21.19pm): **Thank you. There's nothing you can say to make it better. I just need to accept it and move on. I'm just tsruggling. I thought he was it .. you know? I had this feeling whenecer I was around him like I couldn't breathe but It was a good thing. He made me feel different.. special! Oh it doesn't make sense.

_Here come the tears again..._

**FlightOfTheFingers: (21.21pm): **Bella, meet me..?

_He wants to meet, wahhh? Where did that come from?_

**msbellaswan1: (21.22pm): **meet?

**FlightOfTheFingers: (21.23pm): **Yeah I think it's a good idea.

_A good idea? Do I say yes? What do I have to lose, I've already lost the one man I loved today.._

**msbellaswan1: (21.24pm): **OK. Where?

_What was I doing?_

**FlightOfTheFingers: (21.25pm): **Have you heard of a place called Eclipse.

**msbellaswan1: (21.26pm): **Oh I know that place. I've been there with.. well it doesn't matter who with.

**FlightOfTheFingers: (21.27pm): **How about tomorrow night?

**msbellaswan1: (21.27pm): **I can't do tomorrow. I'll be too busy wallowing in my own self pity.

_It's true I planned to get Alice over, eat ice cream till I felt sick, then start on the chocolate. _

**FlightOfTheFingers: (21.27pm): **Night after?

**msbellaswan1: (21.27pm): **Ok.

_What on earth was I agreeing to?_

**FlightOfTheFingers: (21.29pm): **Meet there at 7.30pm.

**msbellaswan1: (21.30pm): **7.30pm it is. Shall I meet you outside?

**FlightOfTheFingers: (21.31pm): **No just come into the bar area.

**msbellaswan1: (21.32pm): **How will I know it's you?

**FlightOfTheFingers: (21.33pm): **You'll know.

_With an answer like that he sounded a bit dodgy.. maybe i'll drag Alice along with me._

**msbellaswan1: (21.34pm): **Very mysterious..

**FlightOfTheFingers: (21.35pm): **Haha.. Don't ask too many questions. When you get to the concierge just say your name.

**msbellaswan1: (21.37pm): **OK. Shall I dress up? Last time I went it was very.. posh?

**FlightOfTheFingers: (21.39pm): **Wear whatever you want. You'll look beautiful no matter what.

_With smooth answers like that, maybe I'd be doing more with him than just meeting. What am I a whore now? I knew in my mind I was seeing this as an oppotunity to forget about Edward. If I focused on someone else then Edward walking out on me wouldn't hurt so bad._

**msbellaswan1: (21.42pm): **smooth answer Romeo...

**FlightOfTheFingers: (21.43pm): **I'm all about the wooing ;)

**msbellaswan1: (21.44pm): **I think I'm too miserbale to be woo'ed.

**FlightOfTheFingers: (21.44pm):**No you're not. You just need to see things a bit differently. I'm hoping meeting me will be an eye opener.

**msbellaswan1: (21.45pm):**And what makes you think you're the miracle cure to all my problems?

**FlightOfTheFingers: (21.47pm): **I just have a good feeling.

**msbellaswan1: (21.48pm): **Oh do you now?

**FlightOfTheFingers: (21.49pm):** Yeah... like I said wait and see.

**msbellaswan1: (21.50pm):** Well mystery man- I just smiled for the first time today so you're certainly doing something right.

_It seems I attract mysterious men - first mysterious cheerio man, and now mysterious internet man. Will I ever learn?_

**FlightOfTheFingers: (21.52pm):** I'm hoping I'll be able to make you smile alot on our date.

**msbellaswan1: (21.54pm):** Gahhh, don't call it a date, I'll get all nervous and do something clumsy and stupid.

**FlightOfTheFingers: (21.55pm):** Don't say that your clumsiness is one of your best assets in my opinion.

**msbellaswan1: (21.56pm):** How would you know? You've never actually witnessed the devastation that is Bella Swan.

**FlightOfTheFingers: (21.57pm):** Oh yeah.. I know I was just saying it figiturively.

**msbellaswan1: (21.59pm): **Right I'm off to bed. Wish me luck.

**FlightOfTheFingers: (22.01):** Sweet dreams, you'll have your happy ending I promise.

**msbellaswan1: (22.04pm):**Don't make promises you can't keep.

**FlightOfTheFingers: (22.06pm):** Who said I couldn't keep them XxXx

**22.06pm Conversation terminated FlightOfTheFingers is offline**.

If Alice was here she'd say one door closes another one opens.

Maybe Edward off the internet could be my new knight in shining armour.

Oh who am I kidding. I'm heart broken...

If the thought didn't repulse me I'd have cranked open a bottle of vodka by now.

I needed Alice.

(Ring ring)

"Hello?" Alice sounded like she was on another planet.

"It's me. I need your advice."

"Huh, yeah, whats up?" Seriously what was up with her?

"I have a date - it's with the guy from the internet. What do I do?"

(giggiling.. "shhh...shhh.. stop it...stop it...")

"Uhh, Belll...laa...I say you should go for it.. you know how it goes, one door opens.. bla bla... look I'm gonna have to go I'm in the errr, middle.. sorta underneath something right now. Love you Bells." With that she hung up.

Well at least someone was getting their kicks tonight.

So.. I was going on a date on Monday...

I will not freak out. I will remain calm...it's just a date. Nothing major...

I haven't met him before, I don't know what he looks like, so there's no pressure.. we've chatted for a while, we've cheered eachother up. We don't know too much about eachother but that's a good thing it gives us more to talk about...But on the other hand I really don't know much about him...That's not necessarily a good thing...He could be anyone...Could do anything...

What the fuck was I thinking?

He's going to be an axe murderer and chop me up into little pieces and hide me under the floor...

Now how the hell am I meant to get to sleep...?

**A/N Thank you for your continued support - I appreciate it.**  
**Please review - it lets me know your still with me and still reading.**  
**A big thank you to Juls - a little message that gave me a big kick up the butt..**  
**I'll try get the next update up as soon as possible - no dates because I never stick to them - just know it'll be soon - and I promise it won't be another 11month wait.**  
**Dems xx **


	12. L is for Lightning

**Twilight's Stephenie Meyers - This lovely bunch is mine.**

**And so D-Day has arrived - what could a simple date have in store for Bella?**

**There is going to be a bit of jumping between pov's. After writing it 4 different ways this suited it best. It was longer but it then got too long so i've broken it into 2 chapters.**

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

**L is for Lightning**

**Bella**

Shaking leg... wobbling foot... heartbeat racing... sweaty palms... eye starts to twitch... pacing...

_I'm not nervous... I'm not nervous_... the more I tell myself the less I believe it.

I am straight up - shitting my pants. **Simple as that**.

Tonight - is the night...

T-minus 3 hours till I see him.

180 minutes...

10,800 seconds...

I'm sitting on my bed, soaking wet hair having just got out the shower, but I'm panicking so much I'm starting to sweat. Maybe I should get back in the shower? This is ridiculous, it's just a date. Just a man and a woman, having a chat over dinner. It sounds easy enough - it should be easy.

But this is me we are talking about. Bella Swan walking disaster. Stay back or fear for your life.

I'm staring into my closet - but I've been staring so long everything's blurred into one. One big mishmash of colours swirling before me- sounds like my life.

I could kill Alice for leaving me on my own to deal with this. She is _soo_ loved up. Know how I know? She turned down the opportunity to dress me this evening; to - _hold on brace yourself _- spend time with Jasper. A boy - Alice picked a boy over me. It's got to be love, or he's got a massive shlong and he's keeping her in a constant post coital high so she bows to his every whim. To be fair I bet both reasons are true. I'm starting to feel like she's avoiding me - but I don't have time to worry about that right now.

More importantly what the hell am I going to wear? It's quite a posh restaurant - so my outfit needs to be classy and elegant; understated but not plain. So far I've eyed up my floor length silver sparkly gown I wore for a fancy dress party last year - I went as a disco ball. I thought it was genius myself, but perhaps it's a little OTT for this occasion. I've also got a simple green dress with a flattering deep V neckline. Just enough cleavage so my boobs say '_hello handsome' _but not enough for them to say '_gimmie $20 and I'm yours for the taking'.. _

Disco ball or green dress... Green dress it is (can't believe I considered the silver dress it looks like something Shirley Bassey would wear. Make-up this evening will be kept to a minimum or I will look like a drag queen. I never can work out how to get the eye-shadow to stay just on my eyelid. I end up with it on my nose, cheeks - hell I look like I've had 6 rounds in the ring with Mike Tyson.

I'm always prone to being nervous but tonight there seems to be this electrifying air around me. I feel like I'm humming with anticipation. Even I know this isn't normal. I can't help having this foreboding feeling of something bigs about to happen - yet I just don't know what.

Right - I think it's time I wrote a list. Lists always make me feel better...

I'm going to assume I'll be late this evening as something has to go wrong. I'll either end up ruining my outfit or catching my hair in the end of the hairdryer- resulting in a fur ball type bouffant hair-do. If I plan to be ready for 7pm; that leaves me with 2hours and 13minutes till I have to be in the bar awaiting my fate; that leaves me 30minutes to spare for whatever disaster may occur.

Back to my list..

1) Moisturize _(Alice would kill me if I wasn't 'silky smooth' for my date)_

2) Freak out

3)Blow dry my hair and try to tame the 'beast'

4)Apply make-up

5)Find some shoes to match my green dress

6) Eat something

7)Ignore point 6 - I'm going for a meal. _(I'm so glad I'm writing a list)_

8)Practice walking in high heels.

9)Order a taxi for 7pm

10)Order another taxi for 7.15pm in case the previous taxi driver gets lost, murdered, forgets about me, would rather stay home and have sex with his wife or it snows.

11)Freak out some more

12)Pull yourself together

13) Have a good time and under no circumstances do ANYTHING stupid.

I feel tense, I can see it in my wrinkled forehead and my hunched shoulders. I wish I could shake this feeling. Should I have a glass of wine or is that going to make me worse? I think it might calm my nerves. Just one glass... it can't hurt?

_**A short while later...**_

hiccupp... hicccupppp... HICCCUPPPP...

FUCK.

I have hiccups.

2 and half glasses of wine later, I finally feel mellow.. calm...tranquil...laidback mannnn... no worries... be happy...hakuna matata..

"It means no worries for the rest of your days..it's our problem free.. philosophy... hakkunnnaaa matattaaaa." _Yeah the wines definately kicked in_. I've got my arms raised above my head as I'm wandering around singing in my underwear.

But I'm not laid back - I've got a big worry...I've got these awful hiccups that I just can't get rid of.

Hold your breath count to 10 that always works.

I put my fingers in my ears and stretch my babyfingers to hold my nose and breathe in deep.

1...hippopotamus 2...hippopotamus 3...hippopotamus 4...hippopotamus 5...hippopotamus hiccupp...(_the world's starting to spin - I'm feeling woozy_) 6...hippopotamus 7...hippopotamus 8...hippopotamus... hiccuppp 9...hippopotamus 10...

I _( inhale sharply)_

feel like (_panting_)

I'm going to (_panting some more)_

hy-per-ventil-ate(_long deep breath)_

hiccuppp...hiccuppp...

Counting hippopotamusly clearly doesn't work.

erghhhh nothing. NOTHING is working.

Vinegar - vinegar on the tongue, Alice uses this method and it always works for her.

I lunge for the stairs and leg it to the kitchen. My feet hitting every step as I pound my way down. I've got to get rid of them.

Erghhh - the smell is vile. I HATE vinegar. I put a tiny amount on my tongue - and wait - and wait some more- _hiccuppp_.

Desperation is setting in. I can feel myself start to panic, I'm going to be stuck with these hiccups all frigging night.

I can't scare myself, and everytime I hold my breath I feel like I'm about to collapse. What the FUCK am I meant to do now?

Drinking backwards is meant to work.

I pour myself a glass of water and position the rim onto my lips. This is a strategic operation. One I must succeed in - I roll my head down towards my knees and start to slurp. I keep slurping - I look absolutely ridiculous; bent at the waist with my face concealed with horrendous slupring noises coming from my mouth, if someone walked in and saw me now I dread to think what it looks like I'm doing.

I keep slurping...I'm basically sucking the water towards my lips, when I start to lose my footing... what with the deep breathing before and the sudden rush of oxygen to my head and now being bent over feeling like I'm hanging upside down I was teetering on the edge of flat footed and tiptoes... the water's sloshing backwards and forwards as I try to regain my balance. Everytime it sloshes forward it's going up my nose... I'm coughing and spluttering all over the place as I attempt to straighten myself back up. There's water fizzing inside my nose and a continual drip coming from my chin. Smooth Bella... real smooooth.

Another shower - who needs one when you can just tip a glass of water over yourself - backwards... This should be my new party trick, along with successfully being able to drown. I am simply the best guest to invite to a party.

**EVER**.

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

**Edward**

Black or white... black or white... hmmm... black... no... white.

"Jas, black or white boxers?"

"You are not seriously ringing me to ask what color boxers to wear?"

"Uhh, yeah?"

"Black." Alice chimes in from the background.

Since the party; I've seen Alice and Jasper a few times and everyone knows what's going on now. Well everyone except Bella. When Alice first found out that I was both Edwards' she went psycho. I mean... _abso-flipping-lutely _**insane**. But once Jasper had kissed her into a coma she was a bit more.. _understanding_. She's actually helped me quite alot, telling me what Bella does and doesn't like. But from speaking to Bella online this week; I know she feels that her friend has been ignoring her. I asked Alice about it and she says she doesn't know what to say to her. Apparently she's terrible at keeping secrets and knows she'll tell Bella everything if she see's her. I feel bad. This is all because I can't suck it up and find some balls and tell Bella everything.

"Edward?" Jasper quizzed.

"Oh, Ugh, yeah sorry man.. just nervous. Thanks"

I hang up. My minds all over the place. I'm nervous. Like really fucking nervous.

Black boxers it is then. Tonight has to go well... I've planned this down to a T.

If anything goes wrong well I'm going to be a laughing stock.

I reach down and grab my balls - I have got a pair - now I need to man up and use them.

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

**Bella**

1 step.. 2 step.. 3 steps.. 4 steps.. 5 steps

I raise my arms to steady myself. I pivet on the spot and walk back towards my room.

And again...

1 step.. 2 step.. 3 steps.. 4 steps.. 5 steps..** heels**.. _pshhhh... don't know what all the fuss is about_.

I have this walking in heels malarky down to a T.

I make for the stairs and slowly inch my way down.

I decide to be daring and don't hold the rail. I am a skilled professional. Heels do not faze me. As I go to take the next step I loose my footing. _Maybe the rail is a good idea. _

I make it down the stairs successfully and it's only 18.55pm._ Well check me out - I'm on time._

I don't think I look that bad. I haven't killed anyone or injured myself. This could be the start of a whole new me.

My make up is minimal. I have a subtle glow to my cheeks, a dash of mascara on my lashes and a light tint to my lips. I look good? My face looks refreshed and I feel happy with the way I've turned out. Lets just hope Edward likes it. (_At least he's called Edward - I can't get his name wrong. After everything that's happened recently it's a wonder I still have a brain._)

My hair looks smooth and sleek with a slight wave to it as it falls over my shoulder. I think Alice would say I'm channeling an earthy essence. My dress clings to me in all the right places. My hips look womanly where the fabric drapes gently across my hip bones. The dress is loose over my stomach and ruches flattering my shape further. The straps sit lightly on my shoulders, the green making my pale skin look attractive for once. The contrast between the green of the dress and my brown eyes and hair works in my favor. _Look at me being knowledgeable about fashion - who needs Alice anyway?_

I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the toaster - wooooahhh - my breasts are definately eye catching.

(beeeep beeep)

The taxi drivers here - oh no - oh no - I can't do this. It's not 7pm is it already. Fuck where did the time go?

I barely feel my legs move. They must have dragged me to the front door of their own accord. I take a step onto the garden path and for some reason feel like this meal is going to change my life.

I step into the cab.

"Eclipse please."

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

**Edward**

"Caius, is everything set out like I asked?" I was on a tight schedule and everything needed to be perfect.

"Yes Sir. I set the table up next to the grand piano as you requested. The piano has been moved to allow you to sit with your back to the table."

"Thank you Caius. What about the food I requested?"

"Yes Sir, the Cheerios are in the kitchen." Caius gave me a quizzical look.

"A story for another time my friend." I simply stated.

"Fine, Sir." Caius replied

"Now, as directed earlier. When she arrives she'll be waiting in the bar area. You'll know who she is from the description I gave you." I stated matter of factly.

"Brown hair, brown eyes- will fidget alot. More than likely be the most beautiful woman in the bar area. Has long legs and a pale complexion." Caius confirmed.

"Perfect, and from the bar area you are to take her to the table, offer her a drink and tell her I will be along shortly." I explained.

"Perfect Sir. It is 7.15pm now what time shall I be expecting her arrival?"

"Anytime now. Be ready."

With that Caius turned and walked towards the main reception. He was one of my best employee's and believe it or not outside of work I would call him a friend. He addressed me always in that way during work, although I have told him numerous times it is not necessary.

I walked off towards the kitchen to check that everything was in place. I was hoping she would guess that the two Edwards' she has come to know are actually one and the same.

It could back fire on me, but from Alice's advice if she pieces it together herself, she'll be less likely to freak out.

I checked my watch for the nthteen time. It was 7.20pm she should be arriving soon. I walked towards the foyer and hid from view. I had to see her before she saw me. I had to prepare myself for what was to come.

This could be the last time I ever saw her again if this all goes wrong, or this could be the start of something beautiful. Either way alot was riding on tonight. It was a big fucking deal.

I saw Garret the concierge approach the door and held my breath as he pulled it open. But it was a false alarm, just a blonde woman with a dress slashed up to the thigh, on closer inspection it was Tanya. Many would use the term a socialite. I would use the term Grade A hooker, after any man's money. She was in here most nights; on the prowl for the next victim. She had a type- any man with more money than sense. She'd unsuccessfully tried to get her hands on me.

Garret greeted her politely with a somewhat forced smile and moved her on. I had warned Garret to move all guests on quickly so he could pay the utmost attention to Bella.

He moved towards the door once again and smiled.

He stepped aside whilst the most gorgeous creature I had ever seen stepped into the reception area. Her legs went on for miles, her delicate feet framed my sophisticated black heels. I let my eyes wander up further. Her dress a deep green clung to her in the most alluring way, her hips looked womanly. She looked curvaceous and appetizing. Her breasts were standing to attention, her cleavage drawing me in. I was getting heady just looking at her, how could one woman make it feel like the whole world had come to a stand still?

As if she couldn't be anymore perfect and tantalizing as she tried to steady her breathing her breasts would bounce ever so subtly.

I gulped. She was going to be the death of me.

I allowed my eyes to wander up further once again.

I was dumbfounded. Awestruck. Lost for words.

Her beauty was monumental. Something that should be preserved throughout history. The green dress only complimented her mahogany brown hair, that framed her face in luscious waves. Her eyes deep pools of chocolate brown that called to my soul.

Her skin shimmered in the light. She was beautiful.

I had been staring for at least 4 minutes when I realised that Garret seemed as enraptured by her as I was. He shook his head, as if breaking himself from a trance.

"I'm to meet someone at the bar." She whispered in the most mesmerizing way. In one sense she seemed so sure of herself - although I knew she wasn't overly confident she still carried herself with such poise, but in the other sense she was shy and quiet. This only teased me more. she was the most perfect balance of sexy and confident as well as shy and cute.

I gulped once again. I wasn't ready for this.

Garret couldn't find his voice so he just nodded and directed her towards the bar.

I'm glad I'd seen her, because if I had walked in to greet her. I would have been rendered silent, too lost in her beauty and that would have ruined everything.

Right on cue 5 minutes later; Caius walked up to greet Bella.

"Good evening Madame." He politely said with a knowing smile.

"Oh, it's you... from last time Ca..Cai.." She puzzled.

"Caius Madame." He stated, although I could tell he was pleased to have been remembered.

My Bella is so perfect.

"Ohh Yeah, I remember Caius. I'm here to meet erm.. Ed..Edward." He face lit up as she said my name.

She's here to meet Edward... Oh Edward.. _That's me_.. That's my cue to get in place.

I quickly got up and made my way over towards the stage and went behind the curtain.

I gave her 5minutes to get to the table and for Caius to take her drinks order. I knew she would feel uncomfortable ordering a drink without me so I ordered Caius to take a bottle of red to the table as-well.

I took a quick peek out of the curtain and saw Bella. I was once again struck by her beauty . It was incredible the way my body called to hers. The way my heart called to hers.

As if it was timed her head spun towards the curtain, it's like she felt I was there. Knew it was me. We were so in-tune it scared me.

I ducked back and tried to catch my breath.

I ran to the other side of the stage and peeked round the curtain once again. I couldn't get enough of her. She was back to fidgeting in her seat. I wondered what was going through her head.

Was she wondering if I was going to show?

Maybe she was doubting why she came?

She looked scared, but quizzical.

I was procrastinating and the longer I looked at her the longer this was being dragged out.

Caius whistled me from the side of the stage and bought me back to planet earth.

"I'm ready to introduce you to the piano Sir."

"Ughh, right... Caius? - I am doing the right thing, aren't I?"

"Most definately Sir, she is as beautiful as you stated, and she remembered me." He flashed me a grin.

I forget that she'd already been here with my Dad. I couldn't dwell on it otherwise it would ruin my mood. He'd ruined it by bringing her here first. But I was going to be the one who won her heart this evening, not him. She was mine.

"I'm ready as I'll ever be."

I took the passage to the back of the restaurant and stood waiting to be called to the piano.

"Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen. Please put your hands together for tonight's pianist.

I took a deep breath and started to walk towards the piano.

I knew Bella couldn't see my face. The tables had been positioned so every other person in the room would block the view of me as I ascended towards the piano. The plan was for her to only see my back.

I wanted so badly to sneek a peek at her but I controlled myself and focused on the task in hand. Getting to the piano.

I had made it and sat down. I could hear her breathing behind me. She was within touching distance.

I sat down and started off with my favorite - Claire De Lune by Debussy. As the climax drew near I felt this overwhelming need to see her. But I had to do this. I had to get through this to play the one song I needed her to hear.

The song finished and everyone started clapping. Someone behind me turned to Bella and said wasn't that wonderful. She turned and said; "It was beautiful. It was Claire De Lune."

I felt so proud of her for knowing my favorite. She really was the girl for me.

I took my final deep breath, dug deep and finally found my balls and started to play the one song she had to hear. She just had to know how I felt.

I started to play and turned the microphone towards my lips...

**"I'll be your man**

**And I'll understand**

**And I'll do my best**

**To take good care of you**

**You'll be my queen**

**I'll be your king**

**And I'll be your lover too**

_As I paused I heard her inhale sharply. I was hoping it was her realizing. Realizing it was me._

**Yeah yeah**

**Yes I will**

**Derry down green**

**Color of my dream**

**A dream that's daily coming true.**

**And ohhh when the day is through**

**I will come to you and tell you of**

**Your many charms**

_I could hear this quiet whimpering behind me, was she crying?_

**And when you look at me**

**With eyes that see**

**And we'll melt into each others arms**

_All I wanted was to melt into eachothers arm. I wondered how this would end, would tonight end with us together or apart. I couldn't bear to think what apart would mean._

**You'll be my queen**

**And I'll be your king**

**And I'll be your lover too."**

As I played out the last few notes I felt someone move next to me. I turned my head ever so slightly and saw she had gone. Where had she gone? Had she left?

I turned my head the other way and looked for Caius. He nodded his head in approval and mouthed to stay calm and not to worry.

Well Bella leaving had ruined the plan I was meant to go to the kitchen and get the Cheerios. I was going to pretend to be the waiter and take them to the table and suprise her. But she'd upped and left now what was I meant to do?

As Bella's song ended the audience erupted into a loud debacle of claps and cheers.

But I couldn't focus on the praise my mind was solely focused on Bella. I had to keep playing, give her a chance to come back.

I automatically started to play the new lullaby I had started to tinker around with at home. The same notes came out whenever I thought of Bella.

I felt someone approach the bench. Lightning bolts seemed to reverberate around my body - but - they suddenly came to a stop. The presence was gone and I felt alone once again.

I continued to play until I nodded at Caius for him to say to the audience I was going to take a short break.

Once I had heard him announce it. I immediately got up and headed towards the kitchen. I made a swift hand movement to Caius that informed him he needed to follow me.

"What the fuck happened?" I asked panicked.

"She was crying Sir, and left for the bathroom."

"Crying?"

"Yes Sir, crying. It seems you touched a nerve."

"Is she back at the table now?"

Caius popped his head out of the kitchen and confirmed she was sat back down.

"Yes, and I think it would be a good idea that you hurry up and get to the table, she asked Garret at the door if her date had arrived yet."

Oh this was all going tits up, I hadn't thought it through enough. She'd been sat at the table on her own for a good 15minutes. She must be thinking I'd stood her up.

I grabbed the bowls of Cheerios and handed them to Caius.

"Sir, the origional plan?"

"Gone out the window Caius - I can't just walk over with the bowls in my hand pretending to be the waiter - she's clearly going to be angry with my late arrival."

"So I am in one sense the cannon fodder Sir?"

"To put it bluntly - Yes. I'm hoping she shouts at you and not me."

"Well your the boss."

His face seemed to completely disagree with his last statement. He left the kitchen and I followed. We slowly made our way to the table. I was shitting my pants.

This was it. The grand unveiling. This is where everything changes either for better or for worse.

I metaphorically grabbed my balls - "**This is it.**"

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

**Bella**

Where in the hell is he? He told me to be here at 7.30pm and he isn't even here. I'm sat at this table on my own and he's no-where to be seen. Maybe I've been set up. Maybe I'm being punked?

Over the microphone a man announces the musician is coming to the stage. He strolls towards the piano which is placed right next to our table. _Ohhh how nice_. Candle lit dinner avec piano player- _very swish_.

I can't see his face as he approaches but as he takes a seat at the bench I see his broad shoulders covered in a fitted dinner jacket. Well if Edward doesn't show I 'll just order that gooey chocolate pudding I like and admire the pianist.

I could smell his cologne from here and he smelt - familiar.

Familiar? Where did that come from?

He smelt wonderful - but it did smell familiar... he smelt like - like Edward did the morning I woke up from the drowning escapade.

He starts to play a song I instantly recognize. It's Claire De Lune, it sounds beautiful. The notes fill the whole room... bouncing off the walls creating the most wonderful echo. It feels like the music consumes you. It's the same song that was playing when I was last here with Carlisle. He said it was his sons favorite song.

His son...the pianist... played last time I was here... His son... Edward.. Carlisle's Son.. Edward...

Edward... Edward was the pianist last time we were here?

I look up quickly to the pianists head and check his hair.

Its...

It's... rugid... rough... it's...brown, it's copper... it's...

Nooooooooo... it couldn't be... could it?

I'm too gobsmacked to think it through and realise I must have been inhaling sharply as I can no longer hear anything but my breathing.

The pianist starts to play again, this time a beautiful tune I recognize but can't place.

He starts to sing in the most heavenly of voices. It feels like he's lulling me into a trance.

He sings so softly and sweetly "You'll be my queen, I'll be your king, And I'll be your lover too."

I start to cry, tears keep falling from my eyes but I can't work out why. The song sounds so familiar. Like I know it from a dream but I just can't place it. The voice is smooth and sensual. Soothing and comforting. I feel my body wanting, edging me closer to this man. It can't be...

I have heard this song in a dream before. It was Edward, My Edward Cheerio man who had sung it to me in my dream.

I'm crying so much the tears start to spill onto my dress, I get up and leave for the bathroom. I feel like I need a moment, some air... just something that will enable me to think straight.

I remember where the bathroom is and head straight for the mirror. My make up hasn't run. _Thank God._

What is going on? This is all so confusing. Being out of the room is helping. I don't feel so lightheaded. I can think straight.

I need to know who the pianist is. What if it's Edward, My Edward?

I fix the lines the tears have created on my face and vow to look the pianist in the eye. I don't believe it can be my Edward.

And if it is this date has just got even more awkward. I'm meeting one Edward whilst being sat next to my other Edward whose the piano player. This could only happen to me.

I exit the bathroom and quickly ask the door concierge if my date has arrived yet. To which he replies "He's running late Madame, he said take your seat and he'll be here shortly." I decide that's it if he's definately coming I need to double check who the pianist really is.

I walk straight up to the pianist, I feel confident - almost as if I don't believe it's going to be him. I go to touch his shoulder to unveil him, but I can't. The feeling of electricity that was humming around me earlier. Its bouncing back off of him. It's like an electric shock as my hand goes to touch his shoulder.

I have to sit down.

What does this all mean?

I don't know what's going on. I try to think rationally and calmly. This can't be Edward. This can't be happening. I look back to the piano and realize the pianist has left. Where's he gone?

Did I just imagine that all happened?

I turn my head searching left and right.. but he's no-where to be seen. _Vanished_.

I wish someone would tell me what in the blazes was going on.

I feel like putting my head into my hands and sobbing. My life is never simple. I put my head down and stair at the table cloth.

"Your dinner is served Madame." A smooth voice re-awakens me as someone place's a bowl of cheerios infront of me.

I raise my head ever so slowly. What the FUCK is going on?

"You... You..." I can hear my voice getting louder and louder...

"YOU can't be serious what the fuck is going on" I'm shouting; I'm full on shouting. I have no control over my voice box... it's acting of it's own accord. Why am I shouting? ... I don't even know.

People are muffling all around me, "crazy woman on a date on her own, ordering cereal at this time of night"... "swearing in a place like this."

My face is burning bright red, I'm embarrassed, confused, angry and upset all at the same time.

"You.. what are you... cheerios?" I'm not even making sense.. I hadn't even realised I was standing up.

Then a dawning realisation hits me...

"Edward." I utter ever so quietly as I fall back down into my seat.

Cheerio's.. the pianist... Carlisle... Son...

Edward and Edward are one and the same?

**I don't understand.**

I feel the table shift as someone takes a seat.

I raise my head.

"Edward?" I whisper.

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

**A/N**

**Don't shout at me.. I liked the cliffhanger it fitted in nicely - Part 2 will be up soon. (As always no dates as I never stick to them - just know it's soon.)**

**A big hello to all those who alerted and faved - I'm shocked by the response, I've never had so many alerts and favs in one go before - I hope you like it.**

**To all those that review - I thank you. It makes this whole process even more fullfilling.**

**Leave me a little bit of love - it goes a long way.**

**M is for... what do you think? Review and let me know what you think the next title is..**

**Dems x**


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